The time that Sticking my dick in Crazy was 100% worth it. [FM]

This is a really long one. The good shit starts at the asterisks

Please forgive the typos, I’m super turned on rn.

Alright, here it goes. My plunge into the other side of the post.

I’m a long-time lurker here and avid consumer of steamy narratives. Honestly for most of my life too. Even as a horny, hormonal chimpanzee of a teenage boy, I preferred poetic fuck-tales to pornos. Don’t get me wrong. There’s a handful of video’s floating on a layer of internet scum, that when I come across I turn into a got-damn werewolf.

But seriously, there’s nothing like firing up the imagination station with some well-written stimulus to transport my mind, heart, soul, and dick into an alternate dimension where I am super good at sex and everything feels really good. Ya know, rather than this one where I’m kind of ok at things and its bit of a wash between what feels awesome and what is scary as hell. I think it was Aristotle who said, “No one knows how to noodle your noodle, quite like your noodle.” The circle of life is a beautiful thing.

So as one who has endlessly pleasured themself to the ocean of y’alls sexcapades, I sincerely thank you. Here is the first of my contributions to this collective spank-bank. This wonderful socialization of smut. This utopian commune of cumming…

So, our story begins about a year ago. I was living a relatively content life, but ready for something new. I spent most my life in the northeastern United States and honestly did not hate it, just ready for a medium amount of change. I began looking for work in some cities that I had traveled to and enjoyed. Fast-forward 6 months and I’m touching down in Denver for good. Beer, snow, drugs, limitless lulu lemon, as far as the eye can see. What’s not to like? So about 2 months go by and found some places I really enjoyed in my corner of the city. One hip bar, in particular, had a special place in my heart.

It’s about as unique as a hipster bar really can be. Great rotation of beers, diverse people, a mixture of casual and fancy, but best of all, the sexual tension is very low. I know what you are thinking. Wrong place to discuss low sexual tension. But honestly, sometimes I just want to drink in peace. Maybe some light flirting with the bartenders. A nice conversation with a friendly fellow patron. But a place with no sexpectations. Not like a lot of these dumb places. You know the ones.

So I frequent this place a lot. I probably spend too much of my money there. It’s my life, I don’t fucking care. I’m there on a weeknight, my favorite weeknight because the bartender who usually works is wildly sexy. Just bananas attractive. She’s super casual, usually wears her hair up, yoga pants, and tied up tank top from the bar. She has a very slim, tight body. She’s genuinely kind and super flirty at the same time. She’s fucking great at her job. Big fan. So I’m chatting here and there with her while I drink some stupid beer that your friend’s roommate won’t shut the fuck up about. Seriously, Ryan, we get it. There’s like, a tonnnnn of hops in it. Eat a dick. Anyways…

I’m sitting having a very nice, quiet night. There’s an open stool next to me and then another dude doing the same. He’s not really my type, but cute in his own way. Then this girl sits between us. Immediately, I get sexual spider-sense. I got all kinds of bells ringing in my head. I hear the tone in her voice and just know, she’s trying to catch that dick. Which one though? Any of them. Will it be mine? You bet your goddamn life it will be.

— Now I will pause and say that at one point, I went to wiz palace and awkwardly bumped into this adorable male nurse wearing his scrubs and fucking cowboy boots. I almost called an audible on the spot. God, he was cute. Anyways, back to home-girl. —

Now I hadn’t actually gotten a good look at her yet. I was doing some close quarters recon. Listening to her chat up the guy on her other side. They were talking about home towns, places they had visited. They were both way too into Nashville. I’ve been there, I just don’t get it. I was ready to bail and let my man shoot his shot. But as my favorite bartender asked if I wanted another, home-girl grabs my forearm and says get this, raising her glass. Aight, girl. We hadn’t said a word to each other before that, I had only seen her out of my peripheral, but I knew she was about it.

So I oblige. The beer was not that good, but she was. Immediately, she turns her body towards me. It’s like the other dude got Thanos’d right out of the fucking galaxy. Which I honestly felt bad about. I’m not one of those assholes who still think things like “alphas” are real. Like we don’t even classify the family structures of fucking wolves that way anymore. Read a goddamn book, Ryan.

Now I’m all in on engaging in the activities of the breeding pair with home-girl. But she is nuts. Instantaneous I get her life story, it’s not exciting but it’s somehow tragic. Then we move right into how pissed off she is at her long-distance bf who is in town but bailed on her tonight. She tells me, “This was the last straw. I am waking up single tomorrow.”

Bet.

She also cannot help but slip some serious insecurity in the conversation. She keeps on repeating her age (she’s 34, I’m 28), like its a big deal. She honestly had nothing to be insecure about. Her face was really, really cute. She looked her age, but in the best way. Her eyes we pretty as a motherfucker. And I was trying to get those red lips on mine and all over various parts of both of us. And her body, good lawd. Now that I had fully looked at her, I could tell she took real good care of herself. I don’t remember all of what she was wearing, but her top was tucked into the tightest jeans, holy shit. You poor girls. Like I could barely get my hand down them. But never fear. I did.

We finish a couple beers, talk some more shit, she’s dropping hints about having a fun night. Eventually, we circle to talking about pool, how good she is. I avoided the wealth of terrible sex/pool puns. Ya know, balls in holes, good with the stick, that lame hilarious shit. But she tells me of a place down the street with a couple tables. We close out and take a walk. The view is honestly something else. As I said, she takes care of herself. I love all the different shapes of people. Short, tall, tight, squishy. God, I just fucking love human bodies. And this human body in front of me was made for fucking. She was probably 5’8” in her cute little booties. Her black jeans were painted on her long, long legs. Her ass was small, high, and tight. Like a fucking boot camp hair cut. Her arms were pretty long too, with soft muscle definitions flowing down them. She swung her hips like a Louisville slugger in front of me. and I gladly walked a pace or two behind.

We step into the joint with the pool tables and waste no time. We each do a shot and rack ‘em up. Loser is buying the next shots. We only get through like half a game because I can’t take my fucking hands off her, but we each do two more shots.

At one point, and may god never scratch it from my memory, she made one assertive fucking mating call. I’m lining up a shot and she struts around to the opposite side of the table and bends down in front of the pocket, facing me. Like hands on the table, sticks her ass out and arches harder than I’ve ever seen. Her back is a Fibonacci spiral of beyond perfect proportions. She goes for one of those terrible aforementioned jokes but sans comedic delivery. Without an ounce of smile, she says “You better fucking put in.” I have no idea if I made that shot or not.

*** Good Shit Goes Here ***

Next thing I know, we are in the back of an Uber headed to her place. Remember how I said I wasn’t sure if I could get my hand in those pants? This is that part. As soon as we’re in the car, she slides over to me. She got one hand playing with the back my hair, and the other across her lap, high on my thigh. She starts talking in my ear, in a raspy whisper. I can see the driver looking back over and over in the rearview mirror. He looked stoked. I don’t fucking blame him.

The more she talks, the more she lets her lips brush my ear. God, it feels so good. It’s in those little intimate touches with another human that you are fully aware of the endless shapes on your body. The way her upper lip barely pushed against my cartilage. The way her lower lip dragged down my ear lobe. Fuck. I’m so hard just remembering.

My hand was around her back, resting on her hip. I’m slowly brushing back and forth from her back to her hip. I swear my hand can span her entire torso. This body was so hard and small and warm and soft. The motion of my hand is untucking her top. A happy little accident. As he top rides up, I turn my hand to graze my knuckles across the small of her back. I feel its little dimples to either side of her spine. I make a mental note to sink my thumbs into them when I get inside her.

My fingers find her waistband. I push it back. I slide a couple fingertips below and feel the smallest part of her back. I bush my hand back up her spine and drag my palm back to her hip. This time, no accident about it, I untuck her top a bit more and trace the inside of her waistband, back towards her ass. All along the way, I feel the lacey edge of what I later found to be a tiny white thong.

Then she does it. She fucking kills me right there. She’s still whispering in my ear, grazing it wither her lips. She going on about how lucky she was to run into me. How lucky I was gonna get. Then like a goddamn viper, flicks out her tongue into my ear, says “You can keep them.” and then bites my ear lobe harder than I would have expected. I died. I died dead. I died, left my body, had a spiritual orgasm thinking about what I was going to do to this girl, and re-entered my body with the fortitude of greek god trying to once again fuck up humanity by sleeping with a human.

We get back to her place. We are in the elevator and neither of us is wearing a shirt. I can’t pry her off me long enough to walk out, but we do. She is scrambling with her top in one hand and key in the other to unlock the door. I grab her waist and press against her body. This is the first time either of us has felt my dick against her. It’s threatening to tear through my jeans, pressing against her ass. We both paused at the teasing relief.

She sighs hard and says “fuccccckkkkk.” She unlocks the door and runs to her room. I’m right behind her. I slam the bedroom door and stop. There’s a full-length mirror on the back of it. There I am, the beautiful 6.5 that I am, with my shirt on the floor in front of me, my hands unclasping my belt. My reflection locks eyes with her’s. Her wavy brown hair is already disheveled. Her small tan tits are beautifully exposed as she unsnaps the front of her bra. I swear they actually sat higher without the bra. They were gravity-defying, citrus shaped twins that I needed in and all around my mouth.

I’m completely frozen at this point, still staring in the mirror and she’s shimming out of those painted-on pants as slow as she can. She has the biggest grin and bites her lip. She gets them off. And then it’s just that little lacey thong between the world and her vagina. She walks up to me in the mirror, standing right behind me, as she thumbs down her panties. She steps out of them, wads them up, and shoves them in my front pocket, making sure to brush my dick. Then she finishes unbuttoning my jeans. She pulls down my boxers and my dick snaps-to like one of those fucking switchblade car keys. Ya know, like the VW ones from the early 2000s?

She looks at it in the mirror, then down out out it in real life, and back up to my eyes. She grabs it and says, “Fuck it’s biggggggg.” She lies right to my face. And I don’t give a fuck. Then she gives all 5.012 inches of it a tight little squeeze. She takes me by the hand, back to her bed.

Ok, my fucking turn. I her push onto the bed. Honestly a little harder then I meant to. She falls to her back and pushes up on her elbows. Her tits are just sitting there, bouncing in the perpetual motion that these goddess tits must always be in. The way her flat little tummy flows into her waist and waterfalls into her pussy. Dear god. I want to build a vacation house on that golden stretch of beachfront property and fight over it with my future wife in divorce court.

She says, in a sexy and condescending way, “Oh, really?”

But I’m gone. I’m in another fucking galaxy, with another fucking body. I don’t even know who I am at this point. I’m so turned on I’m angry.

I tell her, “Shut the fuck up and close your eyes.”

She does exactly what I say. She lays her head back and before I even get my mouth on her, she’s grabbing her tits. She pinches her own diamond-cutter nipples and pushes the two mounds of flesh together. I dive in. I wrap both my arms around he itty bitty frame and begin devouring her tits. I bite them, I lick them, I suck them. I just fucking breath on them and feel them on my cheek.

She’s still playing with them too and at some point, my tongue runs across one of her fingers. She likes it. She shoves a finger in my mouth, I suck on it. She leads me by it up to her mouth and I get her lips on mine. It’s the hottest, wettest kissing I’ve ever felt. I have no idea where her tongue started or ended, but I felt every inch of it inside my mouth. I start working my way back down her chin, I kiss her throat and bite it.

— Not like in a murdery way, but ya know, kinda. —

She gasps and squeezes my shoulder, digging her nails in. I take the tip of my tongue and drag it down her neck, down her sternum, and onto her tummy. She mirrors the motion with her fingertips down my spine. She grabs my ass, which is honestly fantastic. Easily my best feature. And she slaps it hard. I fucking love it.

I groan into her skin. I open my mouth back up and begin kissing her stomach, flicking my tongue across her abs. I stick my tongue in her belly button and she moans fucking hard.

She likes that? She likes that.

I kiss her right above the navel. A sweet, soft, romantic kiss. A couple more of those. I drag my tongue back across it, and insert it and make out with her belly button. It’s so weird. But she is so fucking into it. She grabs my hair and bucks her hips into me. She’s practically humping my chest. I get the memo.

With both hands I push her tiny hips into the bed, holding them down. then I grab her wrist and tell her “Stop moving.” she stops instantly. She meets my eye and says, “yes daddy.” Now honestly this isn’t normally my thing [Shoutout to Kate], but I knew from the get-go what I was planning to put my penis into. So I went with it. It was crazy hot.

I kneel down at the edge of the bed and take hold of her thighs. Fuck, those thighs. So long and shapely, so tight and soft. Good god. I get my face between them and just fucking devour her vagina. Yes, normally I would take my time, and start slow. But we were so beyond that and she practically had a puddle between her legs. I likely did too. Just endlessly dripping precum until I could push into that beautifully pink pussy.

I start going crazy on her clit, just teasing it has hard as I can with my tongue. I have no idea if I was doing any part of it well at this point, but she is convincingly convulsing. Her frame is just so fucking small, Idk why it was so hot. But I’m able to put my mouth over her entire pussy. I sink my tongue in as deep as it will go and get rehydrated like its a fucking Gatorade commercial.

She’s getting loud as hell by now, which I for one am a very big fan of. She shouting, “Oh fuck! Oh FUCK!” and then dirtier stuff peppered in there.

“Shove your tongue in my cunt. Oh shit! fuck me with your tongue.” Stuff like that. It’s awesome.

So I go until my jaw is good and tuckered out. I don’t know if she came yet because honestly, her regular being-fucked behavior is crazier than the other female orgasms I have had the pleasure of being present for. But she puts a quick end to this portion of our celebration of life.

She says, “You put that big fucking cock in me more I’m gonna lose my shit.”

Fucking liar. So I do. But I make another move. I stand up and with one motion shove her up further on the bed and roll her over. I mean, she helped, she got what I was doing.

So being the incredible little fucker that she is, she slowly tilts her head back looking to the ceiling and tilts her ass as high as she can so that her hip bones are still planted firmly on the bed. There’s that Fibonacci spiral again. And there’s those fucking dimples. I straddle her long legs and just pause to admire the beauty of home-girl’s backside. This is the most perfect little ass I’ve ever seen. This is the tightest little body I’ve ever seen. And I’m gonna fuck it so hard.

So just like I saw in my mind’s eye, I wrap my fingers around her waist. I smash my thumbs into those back dimples. And line the head of my dick up with that shimmering pussy.

With one direct, hard, confident stroke, I bottom out inside her — not like that’s terribly difficult for me — My big balls are right up against her lips. My dick is in another fucking dimension, portled there by Aphrodite herself. She just kind of opens her lips and lets this primal, visceral, pre-Homosapien noise escape her mouth.

Its a low grunting moan like someone just smashed a cursed urn and a weary spirit departed from the earth. She somehow arches harder. I know I’m like 30 seconds from the edge here.

I let go of one of her back dimples which put an inconsiderate amount of pressure on the other and wrap my fingers around her throat. Give her two more steady, deliberate strokes and then had to stop.

I tell her, “I need you to fucking cum right now.”

I had meant to maintain the commanding, heavy tone I had been using, but what came out was a raw and honest plea. From a genuine place of wanting to experience sheer ecstasy at the same time as this other person. It was so fucking intimate and vulnerable. She got it. She starts to answer and I feel the passion in her voice through my fingers wrapped tight around her throat.

I let go and she says “Yes. Please.”

And similarly, she meant it. She was asking me to feel this with her. To cum with her and escape everything we’d ever felt before. The hand still clasping her hip loosed and slid gently around her side, to put soft pressure on her stomach. The hand that had passionately choked her, reached tenderly down, wrapping around her breasts, holding onto her upper arm. I laid down on her back and with her beneath me thrust as hard and as deep as I ever have. She matched my motion instinctively. She pushed her ass back into me and pressed her head into my shoulder. She turned her head and as our lips met, we both absolutely plummeted over the edge.

Now I was sure she had cum. Her pussy gripped me so goddamn hard. Her vagina flooded, running over the edge of her lips. The head of my dick pushed into her warm flesh. I felt beads of cum roll up the base of my penis and pushing out the head in that unmistakable sensation. We just laid there. Rolling to the side, I continue to thrust with very small motions while she softly moaned into my ear. And we passed out naked on top of her sheets.

I woke up about after an hour or so. I was all kinds of a mess. But we had repositioned so that her head was on my chest while I laid on my back. Her naked beautiful legs were straddling one of mine. My dick was at full attention again. She must have felt me stirring. Half asleep she said “shhhhh” and grazed her finger over my lips. They tasted like sex. Then she reached down to gently stroked me. Not to make me cum, just to pacify me back to sleep. It worked. I passed back out and woke up in the morning. She woke me up by grinding into me while we spooned. I laughed and rolled over for her to spoon me. She started kissing my shoulders and stroked me deliberately now. It worked.

We had some mediocre morning sex. She did give me a lovely blowjob. But honestly, the magic was gone. She came on my fingers and I shot a weak load across her ass. We took a shower together and shared a shower beer for good measure. We played with each other a bit in the water but its never as fun as you want it to be. I got out, give her a pretty damn good kiss, and headed on my way. No numbers, no social media or anything. I think we both knew the heat of the night before, mixed with the alcohol, was a special one-time thing. We parted well with some wonderful fucking memories.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/p9euqm/the_time_that_sticking_my_dick_in_crazy_was_100