There I was, sitting in the corner chair of the hotel room, as the woman I met less than an hour earlier stood between my knees.
I already had some hints that things might get a little unconventional in here; but not being one to turn down an adventure, I had decided to roll with whatever happened.
She slowly kneeled, never breaking eye contact. Her tongue traced her parted lips, and her hands came to rest on my knees. Ever so slightly she stretched out her fingertips, and her red nails began to slide up my thighs, nudging my legs apart. After the longest 10 seconds of my life, she finally reached my belt and unclasped it. With that, she took a deep breath, cleared her throat, and the expression on her face shifted to an almost professional demeanor. Then two of her fingers gripped my zipper, as she spoke in a warm, smoky radio voice:
âTwo million employers have used ZipRecruiter for their hiring needs,â she practically moaned the words as she straddled my lap and leaned into my ear, her hand still working my fly.
âFind your next great hire or job opportunity with ZipRecruiter. Try it free for 2 weeks and enter code LEXISEXI at checkout for 10% off.â
By the time she stopped speaking I had no idea what the fuck was happening, but my zipper was completely down and her hand was expertly stroking my ad-induced pop up. I clutched the armrests of my chair and braced myself for what looked to be a wild night of highly commercialized copulation.
Ok, I hear ya, reader. This shit needs some contextâŠ
You see, back before [I learned that Target was a superior location to meet women](https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/oyhtpf/i_canceled_my_apps_and_stopped_going_to_bars_now/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) than overpriced bars, I used to have a favorite little spot in uptown. A buddy had just bailed on me but I decided to go ahead with a drink by myself. Not two sips in, a VERY attractive woman took the seat at the bar next to me.
Itâs not uncommon to run into a stunning woman here, but something about this one stood out. She was intimidatingly sexy, solo, and seemed a bit overdressed for the place. I could feel her looking at me before I heard her speak.
âSeat taken?â
âNope. All yours!â
âIâm Alexis. Howâs your night going?â
âGood! My buddy bailed on me but I still needed to get out for a bit.â
âHa! I got bailed on too. Tell ya what. First roundâs on me. Second roundâs on you. Then we can see what comes next.â
Hmmm. Cryptic, unexpected, and slightly promising.
The conversation was surfacey, but I managed to pick up small details like she was some kind of model, had a few sponsors and was reasonably well-off financially. She lived locally but traveled very often to nice places.
Unfortunately the alcohol in conjunction with her hotness had me in a slight haze, so dot-connecting would not my specialty this evening, and I missed some clues. Plus she was quite the flirt and I grew equally as intoxicated from her casual touches on my arms and chest.
After a couple drinks, we were definitely vibing and I asked her, âYou wanna get out of here?â
âI do. I really do, BUTâŠ.thereâs one thing. Iâm actually on the clock.â
âOh you work here!?â
âNot HERE per seâ
Huh?
âSee my day job is Iâm a social media influencer, but I have otherâŠumâŠrevenue streams. Sometimes I get paid to travel with clients. Sometimes I stay local,â she explained, waiting for me to fill in the blanks.
Oooohhh shit. Hol up. There it is. âFucking idiot,â I yelled at myself in my head. âOf course thatâs why the runway model in âfuck-meâ heels is randomly chatting you up!â
I composed myself.
âWaitâŠyou mean like aâŠâ I hushed my voice and looked around. Then whispered. âLike a prostitute?â
âNO!!â She quickly corrected me. âI meanâŠnot technically. Iâd call myself an influencerâŠwith benefits.â
It took me a few seconds longer than it should have to respond.
âOhâŠokâŠwow.â I struggled to gather myself. âSorry if I misread the situation. Please donât take this the wrong way, but I donât pay for sex.â
She didnât seem put off by my response. In fact, her face told me that this misunderstanding might even happen often. Then her gaze softened and a knowing smirk formed in the corner of her mouth.
âNo worries. But ya know, I have been working on a newâŠhow shall I say itâŠmonetization model. If youâre interested, then maybe we can find some mutual arrangement and you wouldnât actually be paying for it.â
Her hand squeezed my thigh.
âIâm very certain youâll enjoy yourself.â
Ummm.
I wasnât exactly sure what to say and had no clue where this was headed.
âSoâŠuhâŠwhat exactly is the difference between the paid version of leaving here with you versus the free version?â I asked, only half joking.
She snickered. âYouâre cute. I like you.â
Her hand pushed higher up my thigh as she stood up and positioned her body between my knees. Her other hand traced up the side of my neck. Then her fingers teasingly ran through the back of my hair. She pulled her lips into my ear, sending shivers down my neck.
In the most seductive whisper, she said, âAdvertisements,â and I felt her tongue graze my earlobe.
âYouâll still get to fuck my tight little body exactly the same, but in between my moans you might hear an occasional message from my sponsors,â she added.
Say whaaaaaâ
Which brings us back to the hotel room, me slouched back in the chair, eyes closed, head back, and Alexis kneeling between my legs.
She had just finished a 15 minute striptease. And if youâre thinking that seems like a long time to remove 6 articles of clothing, youâd be correct. This tease, however was an erotically-veiled delivery of her lengthy terms and conditions, which featured Alexis shedding an article of clothing after each section of our contract.
There was something about ânonexclusive, nontransferrable, revocable, limited access to her Body and its Materials in accordance with these TermsââŠblah blah blah. Honestly I didnât pay attention. The seduction in her lips and the sway in her hips made me impatient. As the blood left my brain and entered my cock, her contractual foreplay had me scrolling for the âagreeâ button, which coincidentally was stitched into the front of her panties. By peeling them off, I accepted her terms, her cookies, her titties, and probably signed away half of my assetsâŠjust to be able to play with hers. But at this point I didnât care.
âI uhâ Iâm not so sure I understand whatâs happenâ,â
I started to say but was immediately hushed with a gentle finger pressed to my lips.
She lowered her head, eyes locked on mine. Her tongue made 3 laps around the tip of my cock before she turned her head sideways and licked completely down to the base.
As my eyes started to close, she paused. Thereâs that devilish smirk again.
âNow, I want you to watch my tongue and think about how good itâs making you feel, baby. Then imagine if this tongue was too busy doing other things. Unnecessary things likeâŠâ
She revealed a single postage stamp on the tip of her finger and slowly licked it.
ââŠlicking stamps.â
âStamps.com. Print stamps and labels in seconds. Whether youâre a small office mailer or an online seller, like myself, itâs easy to set up and use.â
Her tongue finished another lap around my tip.
âNo more trips to the post office for me, when Iâd rather be here preparing your parcel,â she said as she engulfed me and then punctuated the last sentence with the sound of my dick popping out of her mouth.
âTry stamps.com and enter promo code LexiSexi for 10% off your first orderâ
Christ, what had I gotten myself into.
So, the night continued. And let me tell you, this woman was impressive. I mean I can barely remember my Netflix password, but here she was reciting line after line of ad copy while expertly working my cock. With her lips. With her hands. With her tits and with her pussy. And this was some seriously organic advertising. Like the Don Draper of dicks, she would masterfully weave a perfect line or two in between sucks and fucks.
There were countless times when she was fucking me so good that I almost forgot I was simultaneously being earfucked by corporate America. The filthiest threesome of my life. And somehow as our session went on, the ads became more targeted and personalized. Like a sexual Zuckerberg, she seemed to know everything about me. Eventually I started to get a little annoyed.
Then it occurred to meâŠ
âThereâs always a âskipâ button. Whereâs her âskipâ button,â I asked myself.
After she stopped rambling about Capitol One rewards, I lifted her off my lap and started to carry her toward the bed. En route, she told me about Legal Zoom (which I briefly questioned as ominous foreshadowing), and as she came crashing into the bed, she reached between her legs, tasted her fingers and began a KFC ad.
Before she could utter the âphrase finger licking good,â I had my tongue on her clit and for the first time, she broke character and fumbled her lines.
Aha! Found the skip button.
I sunk my face into that sweet, ad-supported pussy and waited for the magic to happen.
She started, âAll you need to create a beautiful website in minutes. Try SqaurespaâŠâŠahhunnnnngh. Holy shhhâŠ.ohhhâ
My tongue kept working.
âTry squarespace forâ-fuuuuuck. Enter cockâŠ.uhh code. Enter code LexiâŠJesus fuck me please.â
Like a short-circuiting robot, for the next 15 minutes she delivered a nonsensical cacophony of fragmented advertisements and sexual expletives.
I was pounding as she was promoting. The harder I hit it, the faster the ass bounced, and the faster the ads were announced.
Short staccato bursts after each thrust brought a new product from those talented, flustered lips of hers.
âOh my gahhhâŠFuck. Hello Fresh delivered directly to youâ-oh Iâm so close so close ahhhj⊠Secret. Strong enough for a man, but oh Jesus so good for this woman. Fuck me daddy. Godaddy domains free with hostâ-hnnnngâPlease. Harder please. 100% discreet packaging, billing and shipping from AdamEve.com. Oh god Iâm cummmmmiiinmmggg⊠MasterCard. There are some things money canât buy. And then thereâs me,â she squealed with delight.
She and the adverts continued to come by the buckets, and I lost count of how many orgasms I gave her AND how many coupon codes she gave me
Her final orgasm was brought to us by Bang Energy Drinks. Did you know that 9 out of 10 Instagram girls agree? Bang is the preferred energy drink for you to awkwardly hold while standing on the beach in a bikini. Bang Energy Drinks.
Overall Iâd say my first experience with ad-supported pussy was a positive one. The only disappointment was when I learned that access to her ass was behind a paywall in this freemium version. Now that I know that in-ass purchases are definitely a thing, I hope to share another story about the time I saved up some money for Alexis+
– đ„
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/p2bpf2/the_night_i_had_adsupported_sponsored_sex_with_an
This is fucking brilliant! Your best yet.