How my [M]ale coworker seduced me and had his way with [F] me

I don’t even know where to begin.. this is something that happened earlier this year and I’ve only told one person about it so trying to write it all out to understand my feelings. I guess I’ll give you a little background I’m 23 pretty average life I guess I work at a popular retail store and live with my boyfriend. That same store is where I meet my boyfriend Ryan (not gonna use real names) over a year ago. Everything in the relationship is great and refreshing especially compared to the shit I went thru with my ex. But still like most things in my life I managed to messed this up too.
Josh got hired and started working in the back in like the warehouse area where my boyfriend worked at the time. I would find excuses to go back there and see my bf even though he was busy most the time. Josh stood out right away, he was older but also super tall like I guess maybe 6’4 and he just looked kinda mean we’ll I guess intimidating would be a better way of putting it.
At first he ignored me but soon he would make little comments, like oh you’ve come to see me or hey where’s mine you gotta feed me too, when I would bring my bf some snack or lunch. His eyes were different though, he would make the most intense eye contact with me and I felt like I was going to melt right there and then.
Anyways it’s a long story but I guess that should be enough background or at least that’s the most I wanna share on it. His comments and flirting started to get more blunt even in front of my bf. My boyfriend was still really nice to this guy even though he was a jerk to most people, he would give him a ride home almost every night even though it was out of his way. Well one night my bfs car was having trouble so I went to pick him up and guess who still asked for a ride home that night too 🙄 that whole car ride I felt nervous like I guess butterfly type feeling in my stomach and my words were mush like I know I must not of been making sense. Anyways we dropped him off and went on to have a fun night back at his apartment.
Well the next day my bf was off but I had to work and was clocking out for the day when Josh came up to me and asked for a ride home. He said his aunt was having an emergency and he had to get there asap but couldn’t find anyone else to give him a ride. I felt a pit in my stomach but for some reason kinda like flattered to that he would ask me and I’m honestly the type that tries to always help if I can so I thought whatever no biggie it’s just a ride so I take him home. The whole care ride I felt ancy like I have some nervous habits and tics from childhood and I know I must’ve been showing them a lot cause I felt kinda off.
Once I was at his place he said come inside he needed to make some more calls and might need a ride to the emergency room. Again my gut was telling me I probably shouldn’t of gone inside but I felt in control and I wanted to help if he did need another ride.
Inside his place he told me to sit and wait on the couch in the living room cause he was going to make some phone calls in his bedroom. I sat and waited and then when he came back, he had changed he put on I guess these athletic pants but to me they looked like tights and he had a noticeable huge bulge sticking out the front he also had a tank top on. At this point I felt nervous and got up I all of a sudden was picturing my boyfriend and I felt super light headed and dizzy. I started mumbling words and kinda stumbling towards the front door and he stepped in front of me put his hands on my hips and pulled me into him for a kiss. My head was spinning even faster but I was also getting turned on, I had always noticed his sexy hands, it’s one of the first thing I check out and his were huge and always veiny so feeling them squeeze all over my body was making my body respond. I tried to kinda push off him cause I knew what I was doing was wrong and felt so overwhelmed but I felt frozen too. He was very physical right away, he started by grabbing my wrist and wrapped my hand around his cock. Besides the huge size the thing I actually immediately noticed and was scared at how hard it was, it felt like cement.
The first words he spoke to me was to say in a deep voice I haven’t been able to get out of my head since, “why are you trembling baby” and pushed me back down on the couch we had been sitting at before. Before I could speak another word he had pulled his cock out of his pants and pushed it into my mouth. Right away my jaw hurt at how much I had to open up my mouth to accommodate his size I also was having a hard time breathing and started to choke. You would think this was a bad thing but I actually strangely enjoy that choking feeling and was getting wet at how demanding of my mouth he was. He started to say much more at this point. He said he could tell how much I wanted him cause my eyes were stuck on him like glue but I always looked away and pretended they weren’t. He also said and made me say much more degrading things especially about my boyfriend. But that was later on. At this point he was still in my mouth but I could feel myself getting wet. I felt a combination of scared, guilty, overwhelmed but also very encaptured by the moment. He pulled down my pants but kept on my socks and shoes. He started to rub my clit in little circles. My breathing was basically hyperventilating at this point but he kept having me repeat things he told me back to him and then finally made me repeat and admit I wanted him inside of me, I wanted him to take me. At this point I lost it. Tears started to form and I knew i was going to lose it but instead of losing it on him I gave in. I lost on myself. I said yes. I cried out and admitted he was right I wanted him, I wanted him to have me. He pushed in and my immediate reaction was to pull away. I was wet but he was so thick and hard it felt like I was going to tear just from his head. He had an evil laugh and seemed to like that I pulled away, he told me he was expecting that. He spit all over and eventually put his heavy cock inside of me.
I immediately felt a tightness and fullness I hadn’t really experienced before. I also felt like I had to pee BAD. I felt so overwhelmed and repressed I was freaking out. He kept talking to me and kept making me speak even though I felt like I couldn’t control what was coming out of my mouth it was just mush. “It feels like you’re splitting me open” is all I was able to manage at first until I had my first earth shattering headache inducing body shaking orgasm on his dick. I was making a mess of everything, what looked like some sort of female ejaculation as the best way I can describe it was shooting out of my vagina, I don’t know if it was pee or squirting or what but it made a mess everywhere.
I never felt more self conscious. He continued to have his way with me. In a bunch of different positions. I felt like a rag doll with him. He seemed into making me do things he must’ve seen in porn a lot cause he kept making me lay on my belly and reach back and grab my toes and also had his hands in and around my mouth a ton. He kept taking his two big fingers and putting them in the insides of my cheeks and just gripping me and moving me around by my face.
The whole situation felt like a blackout and fast forward to today and I still feel just as mixed up. Still with my boyfriend and tried to move on but there’s a part of me that replays that day a ton and now it’s starting to happen even when I’m with my man. That’s why I’m writing here I guess to say my story, admit and realize I do have this kink and to just and sort it all out 😩💁‍♀️
XO
Sammi

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/p11jrv/how_my_male_coworker_seduced_me_and_had_his_way