Girlfriend (20F) cucked me (19M) and I’m so overwhelmed

Hey everyone I’m new here. Sorry if this is too long. Just need some advice about everything tbh.

So basically I’m 19 (male) in college and my girlfriend is 20 and goes to a separate college. We have been dating for 2 years now and I love her more than anything. Our relationship has been so perfect and we both deeply love each other. I’m much more of a romantic in general and I’m much better at all the cute /sweet stuff than the sexy stuff (if that makes sense?). My girlfriend has always told me how much she adores me and how lovely I am etc. Unfortunately, the massive elephant in the room is the sex life. I can’t lie I’m pretty poor in bed…and she knows it too. Unfortunately I wasn’t blessed ‘down there’ and I’m only 3 inches maybe 3.5 fully erect. My girlfriend is really pretty and has had a lot of casual sex before our relationship and it really hurts me inside knowing I’m unable to satisfy her.

Like whenever we get intimate I almost always finish within 30 seconds. I’ve literally read so much online to try and find out how I can improve in bed but I have never managed to last longer than 1 minute. I don’t know why but i just don’t last long. I’ve looked into oral stimulation and have tried my best going down on my girlfriend to make up for my poor size but I can just tell by the look on her face afterwards that it just isn’t enough. She’s really sweet and had never mentioned it to me since she didn’t want to hurt my feelings, but I knew. I’ve tried experimenting with toys to help her finish but it just isn’t the same as a guy being able to. She satisfies my sexual needs as I always finish with her but I’ve never been able to get her to finish by myself.

After researching more online I found out that whilst couples can be really good together (and outside the bedroom we are so happy), sometimes sexual incompatibility is a valid issue that can break relationships. I really cherish what I have with my girlfriend and did not want my sexual ineptitude to ruin our relationship so I had a conversation with her a while back and she explained everything how she didn’t want to tell me out of fear it might make me sad and how I just wasn’t satisfying her like her previous hookups. This broke me inside really. I thought to myself am I not good enough? I was born with that size I can’t do anything about it. I felt bad inside even though I secretly knew the truth that I just couldn’t satisfy her. Hearing it come from her did hurt.

A while later we had a really long conversation and we decided to have an open relationship. I didn’t manage to hook up with anyone during this period however my girlfriend told me that she was fucking these guys in her college. Initially, it was weird to take in since I was so new to all of this but as long as she was happy and satisfied sexually I went along with it. Our relationship outside of the bedroom remained really good and wasn’t affected by the fact that she was fucking other dudes. One night she told me she was having a guy over and asked me if I wanted to watch them. I was really taken aback like uhhh tf? I was hesitant at first but my girlfriend insisted so I agreed.

The guy from her college came over and I was just sat in the corner of the room watching them. He said hi to me and then proceeded to fuck my girlfriend. I was just so turned on by the whole situation. The pure joy and lust my girlfriend was in, the guy who was much bigger than me dominating her, giving her what I couldn’t. I don’t know why but it just seemed so satisfying to see her so happy even if it was another man who was pleasuring her.

I’m so overwhelmed rn. Am I a cuck? Is this a healthy relationship especially for the long term? I’m just so confused by everything. Any advice would be appreciated.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/p12lqd/girlfriend_20f_cucked_me_19m_and_im_so_overwhelmed