How I unexpectedly helped a Tinder date cope with a recent loss [MF]

I had a pretty interesting and profound Tinder date last night and I’m still not sure how to feel about it.

He was about 30 (older than me) – attractive, rugged, masculine but still sweet. We chatted briefly on the app but both of us knew that it was just going to be a quick hook up.

He was staying at a local hotel and we arranged for me to meet him downstairs in the bar (super convenient). He was dressed in a suit – he looked very sharp and was an absolute gentleman as he bought me a drink and we chatted a little. Pretty soon he confidently invited me up to his room and I accepted.

As soon as we entered the room I felt the mood shift a little. I sat down on the bed and instead of the flirty touching and constant contact we had at the bar downstairs, he sat in an armchair in the corner as we spoke a little more. His replies were shorter and more distant and I could tell something was on his mind. I asked him what was bothering him and he shook his head for a moment, then looked away – trying to hold back tears, before covering his face and sobbing.

Now normally if my one night stand pulled this, I would be so fast out that door, but this guy seemed sweet and kind and so I asked him what was wrong.

He told me that he’d gotten married young (22) to his highschool sweetheart and had a number of years of beautiful marriage and a child, but that 12 months ago he’d lost her to an unexpected heart condition – completely out of the blue when she was only 28. He told me about how hard the last year had been and how starved he was of female affection, how he wasn’t ready for anything serious but yearned for some sort of sexual contact, felt guilty about betraying his partner’s legacy by getting involved with a new woman… the whole 9 yards. It was a lot to hear and my heart broke for the guy.

He told me how much I looked like her and that was the main reason he’d organised to meet up with me – it would be the least jarring for him to be with someone who was as close as possible to what he was used to. I asked him what he needed and he very gingerly asked if I can put my hair up in a ponytail – the same way his wife used to wear her hair. He asked me if he could call me by her name for the evening while they were together, and if he could make love to me … tender, intimate, loving – the way he would have made love to his wife.

I am pretty adventurous and have very few limits, but I felt VERY conflicted about embodying this guy’s dead wife for him. I had no idea whether it would be helping or enabling him, and if I should treat it like some sick role play and try to enjoy it when it was clearly so painful for him? I was about to say no and leave but he was holding my hand gently against his face and rubbing it so lovingly and my heart just melted for this poor loving man who was in such pain and needed help overcoming his loss.

I ended up agreeing. He kissed me so passionately, he laid me down and he made love to me, he laid with me after and held me like he never wanted to let go. He cried again. He stroked my hair, I fell asleep in his arms and the next morning we woke up and he made love to me once more before I left. It was sombre when I had to go, I could tell how much this encounter meant to him and he was so thankful for it. I was glad to have helped, and although it was an extremely strange experience, I’m really glad I did it.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/oxlf61/how_i_unexpectedly_helped_a_tinder_date_cope_with