TW: Alcoholism/Violence/Vore/Gore/Scat/Death/Murder/Kidnapping
Work Text:
“Tomorrow is Christmas! Tomorrow’s the day!!”
Said the little girl, Anna, to her brother Jay.
“Don’t get too excited. It’s the same every year,”
Said Jay as he cleaned up an old bottle of beer.
“With mom always crying and dad smoking cigars,
We don’t always have the best family memoirs.
In fact, we’ll be lucky if this year at least
We have a can of cranberry for our dinner feast.”
And so with a heavier heart than at first,
Anna drank some warm milk to help quench her thirst.
Both she and her brother got ready for bed
And soon they were resting their sad little heads.
A few hours passed and they woke to a bellow
From a jolly, rounded, and old sort of fellow.
He leaped into their bedroom and exclaimed with a shout,
“Come, little children, it’s time to go out!”
“Can we bring our mother and father?” asked Anne
As she and her brother approached the white van.
“You know, little girl, I think you’re in luck
Because Old Saint Nick couldn’t give less of a fuck!”
“Where are the reindeers and Santa’s big sleigh?”
Asked the clever and reasonable brother named Jay.
“It’s in the shop,” said Santa as he opened the door,
“Now where is your father and birth-giving whore?”
They gathered their mother but father was gone.
“He’ll probably be out at the bars until dawn!”
So they hopped in the van and away they went,
All of them wondering about Santa’s intent.
Soon, out the windows, they began to see snow!
Anne pointed it out, her face all aglow.
As they came to a stop and the door opened wide,
The kids pushed each other to both get outside.
To the east and the west, there were bushes and trees,
Though they were mostly twigs and were missing their leaves.
Santa jumped from the driver’s seat, scratching his ass.
“Ho, ho, ho! Why don’t you follow me, class?”
He approached a stump, they all followed behind.
And what they all saw was just one of a kind!
A tiny red house that could fit in your palm
With a chimney so small Anne could barely keep calm.
“What do we do? We can’t fit inside!”
Said the reasonable Jay with his eyes open wide.
With a grin and wink, Santa took a step back
And the home sprouted up into a decent-sized shack.
Santa opened the door, stroking his chin,
“Well, what are you waiting for? Go on, go in!”
So they clambered inside and he slammed the door shut
Suddenly they didn’t feel good in their gut.
“Let us out, Santa! It’s dark and we’re scared!”
But Jolly Saint Nick had come unprepared.
“I should have known better, there’s no room for me.
Just wait a bit longer!” was his thoughtful plea.
As he pondered and wondered how he could fit inside
The shack came to life. “Hello there!” it cried,
“My room is filled to the brim and I’m cramped.
I wish you had told me before they had camped.”
“Actually, you see, I was hoping to join ‘em.”
Said the Jolly old man with a jab of his thumb.
“Didn’t you hear? I’m totally packed,
Though I have an idea,” mumbled the shack.
It grew arms and legs and whipped out a box
To attach to its door, right under its locks.
On the front was a handle with a firm rubber grip
Which it grasped extra firm as its bottom half-dipped.
With a grunt and a strain, it began to wind
That handle in front as if trying to grind.
And from inside there was screaming and cries
As the family of three met their gruesome demise.
As he ground and he ground, the shack dripping with blood,
Small chunks of meat tumbled into the mud.
The shack squatted down low and spread its legs wide
From a clenched behind more meat chunks did slide.
Once the fleshy meat pile had grown to the top,
And the shack’s grunting and groaning came to a stop,
It reached its long finger and wiped drops away.
“I’ve cleaned them all out now, come in and stay.”
The shack opened its door, its walls covered in guts,
A puckered hole in the floor where it shat like a butt,
Its floors covered as though spilled was a scouse,
Santa stood, staring, at his little gay house.
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/ou89l8/santa_takes_a_family_to_a_gay_house