I was halfway through my freshman year when I heard about him.
His name was Jack, and he was the sort of guy you’re always told to keep away from as a fresher. Big. Misogynistic. Disrespectful. His dad was some sort of high-flying banker, and he never seemed to suffer any consequences from his actions. There were rumors that he’d raped girls. I heard he’d had a girlfriend in his second year who kept showing up with bruises – the sort she hadn’t consented to. I was warned to stay away from his frat house – especially when they were having a party.
He was dangerous. Scary. And I wanted him.
By that point, I’d had an idea knocking around for a while. The notion of a free use contract. The sort that would give up my rights for 24 hours, and make it clear a guy could do whatever he wanted to me. And once I’d heard about Jack I couldn’t get it out of my head.
When I was young, I had always been fascinated by the idea of giving up my rights. I’d heard about the saner sorts of BDSM – with safewords and negotiation, the kind where you submit to someone you trust. But I wanted something more intense than that.
It was the idea of being utterly helpless that really set my heart racing. Giving up any right I had to withdraw consent. Putting myself in a situation where my feelings or desires no longer mattered. I wanted to step through a doorway, and give up any chance of escape. I wanted to know that I wouldn’t be able to stop if I changed my mind. I wanted to go in accepting that I might regret it – that something bad might happen, and it would be my fault.
And I wanted to do it with someone dangerous. That was the important part. I’d been with guys who cared about my consent – and for this I wanted someone darker. Someone who’d let his worst impulses out, and might have desires I couldn’t handle. A guy who wouldn’t view me as a person. Someone I couldn’t trust…
I don’t know whether it was just a fantasy at first – but when I met Jack, I knew I wanted it for real. It was the glimmer in his eyes that convinced me. I bumped into him at a party, and he looked me up and down like I was a piece of meat. He smiled, and there was something hungry about it. Then he looked away again, and it was like I’d ceased to exist.
I knew I needed him in that moment. I needed to be at his mercy. I needed to know how he’d treat me when I gave up my right to consent.
I went home pretty much immediately, and after I wrote the contract below, I came harder than I ever had in my life…
———————————————————————————————————————————————–
24-HOUR FREE USE CONTRACT
I, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _, offer you, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _, free use of me and my body for the next 24 hours. Once this contract is signed, I will follow you and do everything you ask of me. Excluding the hard limits set out in this list, you will have the right to do whatever you want to me.
While I am your property, I will not be a person. I will be a toy without rights or choices. If I change my mind, I will not have the right to exit this contract until the 24 hours are elapsed. If I struggle or say no, you will have the right to force me or punish me in whatever way you see fit. If I get scared and I want to back out, I will not be allowed to. This contract gives you complete ownership of me and my body for the next 24 hours, and you will have the right to enforce your ownership in any way you see fit, excluding the limits laid out below.
The things you can do to me under this contract include but are not limited to:
Touching me
Fucking me
Using me
Hurting me
Raping me
Abusing me
Humiliating me
Bruising me
Forcing me to do whatever you desire, even if I say no
I am uncomfortable with the following, and I don’t want them to happen to me:
Filming me
Anything public
Anal (please don’t do this)
Being shared or lent out
Group sex
Choking
My hard limits which you will not be allowed to do are as follows: –
No permanent harm (e.g. injury, death)
No permanent marks (e.g. scars)
In signing this contract, I will give up all rights to withdraw consent. I will not be given a safeword to use, or have any way of ending this agreement until the 24 hours are up. If you wish to engage in this contract, please sign below:
MY NAME: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ MY SIGNATURE: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
YOUR NAME: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ YOUR SIGNATURE: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
This contract was signed at _ _ _ _ on _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ . It will expire at _ _ _ _ on _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ .
Enjoy your new toy!
—————————————————————————————————————————————————
The next day I turned up at Jack’s frat house with the contract in an envelope. I was shaking so hard at the time. There were things in that contract I was genuinely afraid of. I’d never done anal before, and the idea of being filmed by a guy who might share it was terrifying. That’s why I’d mentioned them explicitly, I think – why I hadn’t set them as hard limits. I think I wanted to see if he’d do them anyway. If he’d truly treat me like a whore.
I almost ran when the door opened. I was shuddering all over, and I could barely keep it together. But somehow I held on, as a stranger looked out at me confused.
“Is Jack in?” I stammered.
He smirked – then opened the door and beckoned me inside.
I stumbled through – I must have looked like a frightened deer – and somehow wove my way to Jack’s room. It felt like forever before I summoned the courage to knock on his door. But I managed it, heart racing – the the whole world fell out from under me when he opened it.
He didn’t seem to recognise me, and I couldn’t summon the courage to speak so I just thrust the envelope out at him. I must have looked so pathetic, standing there with my arm trembling – but he took the envelope anyway. He looked confused at first – shot me a look as he opened it and began to read. But as he got further down the page, a smirk spread across his face, and he kept glancing at me with this satisfied look in his eyes.
I could barely stay on my feet. The whole world seemed to be going black around the edges, and I couldn’t believe I was actually doing this. An eternity seemed to pass – but finally he looked up at me.
“Do you mean this?” he asked.
I nodded, unable to speak.
“Fine. But we’re signing it on camera.”
———————————————————————————————————————————————
My day with Jack was one of the most intense and terrifying things I’ve ever experienced. Signing it on camera was so overwhelming . He made sure to get my face in the video, so I couldn’t deny it – so I couldn’t dispute what had happened. He sent me a copy, and I still watch it sometimes. Watch how my fingers tremble as I press my pen to the paper.
He ended up doing everything I’d said I was uncomfortable with, pretty much right away. Choking, anal, filming. He seemed to enjoy it – seeing the terror in my eyes every time he went too far. Once he’d had his fill of me, he took me out to the common room and let his frat bros have their way with me. I felt like a piece of meat while they were using me – like I wasn’t even a person. I’m pretty sure I broke down crying more than once, but that only made them laugh. And Jack made sure to capture all of it – to film every awful and degrading thing I’d agreed to.
I was broken by the time he let me go. I’d given up long before that – changed my mind, and tried to fight, and got exactly what I’d asked for. Jack made it abundantly clear that he’d taken the contract to heart. My consent didn’t matter – and no matter how I sobbed or begged or fought, he didn’t stop. I regretted what I’d done more than once – and more than once, I worried I was going to die.
I spent the next 48 hours curled in my bed, alternating between sleeping and crying and rubbing my clit. The experience was everything I’d longed for – and everything I’d been afraid of. A dream and a nightmare all rolled into one.
I hadn’t really recovered by the time my phone buzzed.
A text from Jack.
Telling me to come over.
—————————————————————————————————————————————————
I recognized the piece of paper on Jack’s desk the moment I stepped through the door.
I don’t know what I felt in that moment. I knew I should have been afraid, upset, defeated. But nothing seemed real. It was like I was drifting through a dream – and even though I wanted to run, I couldn’t make my legs move.
“Come.” He said, “Have a look.”
I drifted over. It was much the same as the last contract. Similar terms. Similar stipulations.
But Jack had made a few changes.
There were no limits this time. None at all. I don’t think Jack actually wanted to harm me physically, or violate any of the limits I’d set in the first contract. It was the principle that mattered to him. He was claiming the right to do whatever he wanted to me, with no limits whatsoever. This time, I didn’t get to decide what he was or wasn’t allowed to do. I would be giving up my consent utterly.
And the contract lasted much longer than 24 hours.
I looked at him, a half hearted protest on my lips – but he got there first.
“I’m graduating at the end of this year.” He said, taking out his phone and showing me some of the videos he’d taken the other day. “The contract lasts until then. If you sign, and behave like a good little whore, I’ll delete these. If you refuse…”
He left the sentence hanging. Then he opened his video camera.
I signed the contract.
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/o3b5a4/when_i_was_at_university_i_signed_a_no_limits