The one who got away [MF]

*I feel like this story needs some explanation before I post it.. just skip this paragraph if you don’t care. I know it isn’t written in a traditional story format with a whole background and plot, but this post was never supposed to be seen. I was madly in love with this guy who had a girlfriend back in my junior year of college. Long story .. but we did end up hooking up the day of our last final (his last ever, my last of jr. year). I wrote this shortly after having a bit of a meltdown on his graduation day. I was a sobbing mess and wrote this with a pen and paper, folded the paper up, and put it in the back flap of a notebook. I didn’t look at again until a couple months ago, when I found it, read it , then chose to type it out. These events happened in 2012. Back in 2018, I had a different account I used to post from (all posts are deleted) and I posted the story about this same event in more of a traditional story format. That version of the story was easier to comprehend and entertaining. When I read the version below it almost felt invasive, like I shouldn’t be reading it, even though it was my own personal experience. I felt like I was a completely different person. Anyway… here it is. I know it’s kind of hard to understand without context, so if. you have questions.. just ask.* ***Also.. NO I WILL NOT SEND PICS! DON’T ASK.***

**Story:**

A smell of sweat lingered in the thick air of the hot, sticky room, yet I could detect the scent of weed and incense in the breeze that seeped in through the open window.
The moment lingered a bit too long and in an instant I noticed the words that once lingered on my lips, unsure, in the form of “I want you” now morphed into something else that clung there painfully certain. The words “I love you” threatened to escape my pursed lips any moment, and helplessly, I tried to swallow them. .

I knew of only two desires in that moment – him, and the ability to bask in denial for eternity. He was sleazy, immature, and taken… and I was hopelessly and completely in love.

My hands maneuvered their way around his body as they had hundreds of times in the depths of my subconscious. This was too familiar, too painfully familiar. I knew by the way his hand brushed the base of my spine, the way his lips grazed my jawline, neck, collarbone. He must have had these dreams too.

Our bodies fit together perfectly. We needed no words, no thought, no direction. I had nothing left to do but allow myself to want him, allow myself to devour this moment slowly so that its taste melts into my taste buds and remains there forever.

I knew he hadn’t showered, he knew I didn’t care. I’ll never forget each piece of clothing he hastily removed from my body, silently praying that he can get them off before I change my mind. I let my mind rest, and instead of thinking I let desire roam free. In under a minute we were completely naked, yet our eyes locked. I can feel his body, but I couldn’t rip my eyes from his. He was beautiful, really. His eyes were black like mine, and reflected a deep, genuine look that seemed hopeful…and hungry. I can see us lip-locked and insatiable in his eyes. Watching that gaze was somehow more beautiful than watching reality. Reality was for existing. This gaze was for feeling., his eyes were for seeing, really seeing…and my eyes were for him. When sight became superfluous, we closed our eyes and let ourselves feel with every fiber of our being what was happening to our bodies and our hearts.

How could playful banter turn into this? How could our friendship be so much more? These questions that spoke loudly in the wake of our collision were mute as his right hand slid slowly up my bare back…

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/nq9e7w/the_one_who_got_away_mf