Well, this time I’m trying real fiction. Let me know what you think!
# ~~~ The Roommate ~~~
Dear Journal,
I cannot believe that I kissed her — or rather that she kissed me. It all started last night when our floor RA organized a pyjama party for those of us staying over the holiday. I did not want to go home yet, because I was planning on going on a ski trip with some friends. I just have to go back home before New Year, or else my mom might kill me.
The pyjama party was very boring at the beginning. We watched Coraline, a movie that in my opinion was neither scary nor particularly interesting. Then we played a couple of rounds of mafia. All in all, it was okay, but nothing to write home about. After a while, some people left to go smoke outside or go out to the city. My roommate Aiana and I went back to our room and invited our neighbours, Alexander and Mikhaïl, as well as Sofie, a new international student at the dormitory. Alexander, or Sasha, was a pretty popular guy at the university. He had good looks, but his charm mostly came from his brazen willingness to transform everything into a party. Mikhaïl or Misha, was his loyal sidekick, although quite funny himself. Sofie moved into the room next door last week and has since been alone as all her roommates left for their families. She is from Germany, but her university is in France I think, and by all account, she was pretty reserved. I was pretty surprised that someone so shy would travel alone to my country.
We were just hanging out listening to some music and gossiping about other people so that Sofie would be up to date when the semester started. After a while, Sophie said she had some surprises from Europe in her suitcase. She went to fetch them in her room. She came back with sweets… Lots of sweets. I’m talking chocolate, candies, Christmas cookies, and a sort of dry fruit and marzipan cake. She also had a bottle of red wine. What a feast!
None of us was used to drink. Here, it is pretty rare for students to drink, first because it is expensive, and also because it’s frown upon by society, especially for girls. Sasha and Misha are Russian, so they are more used to it. In any case, there was no reason to refuse a little celebratory drink, it’s not like we were getting drunk or anything.
The sweets and the alcohol made us a bit more expansive, and I quickly noticed Sasha and Sophie were getting closer. I can’t blame them; Sasha is very charismatic, and he has such deep blue eyes and a strong jaw. Sophie, once she had gotten rid of her demure attitude, turned into another, more seductive, version of herself.
This whole interaction did not escape from the witty eyes of Aiana. She looked at them, then at me. At first, I did not understand why. Then I realized I had been using Sasha as my “crush”. He was hot enough to be believable, yet inaccessible enough there was no risk he would fall for me. I said “using” because I want to conceal who I really have feelings for: Aiana.
She was perfect in every way. She had perfect skin and a beautiful face. Her lips always seemed to laugh at something, while her eyes looked like they were permanently sad. I liked that dichotomy of expression, and every time I saw her, I wanted to laugh and cry with her. “Women with dark eyes have a blue gaze”. I remember reading this somewhere in a book about French poetry. I think it really does apply well to her. Her eyes couldn’t be blacker, but there was something blue about them, something that reminded me of those days spent looking through the window, while a storm was raging outside. The kind of eyes that look so still you can imagine the storm is inside. I knew it was wrong to entertain such thoughts about my roommate, and a girl moreover. I don’t think I am a lesbian, I’ve like guys before. There is something about her that makes my heart pound faster, and every interaction made me a bit more joyful.
Misha shouted something, which immediately brought me out of this little reverie. He asked if we were down to play truth or dare. We agreed and started to play. The questions remained quite innocent for the most part, although we’ve learned interesting things about each other’s pasts. The dares started softly until Misha dared Sophie to kiss Sasha, who by that time had already put his arm around her waist. She did so gracefully, and the kiss seemed almost genuine.
It was Sophie’s choice to dare Aiana after, and the guys cheered for her to kiss someone. I guess she didn’t want to make her too uncomfortable, so she asked her to kiss me. The guys laughed. I was terrified. I smile at her, she made her “I don’t care” face and approached slowly. I looked into her eyes, and before I could close them to better take in the moment, her lips touched mine. It felt like falling down an airless pipe. As fast as her lips came to mine, they also left quickly, leaving me breathless and wanting more.
The evening continued and it was getting late. Sasha and Sophie went first and talked in the corridor for a while. Misha helped us clean up the room and then he left. There was just me and Aiana and the muffled sound of Sophie and Sasha giggling nearby.
Aiana looked at me with an afflicted look. “I’m sorry you had to see your crush into someone else like that”, she said. “It’s okay, it was predictable anyways. Plus, you have to admit they look pretty cute together”, I replied. We laughed and proceeded to prepare for bed.
After the lights we off, I couldn’t help but think about the kiss again and again. How was it possible for her lips to be so soft? I wish it had lasted longer.
I felt a tingling between my legs. After all this excitement, it was not the time to deprive myself of some self-pleasure. As it turns out, I’m an expert at being quiet, thanks to a lifetime of room sharing. As I started to touch myself, I heard Sophie and Sasha in the other room. The walls were so thin, I could almost understand their conversation. Soon I realized they were not conversing anymore. I could hear the bed shaking rhythmically, and Sophie’s moan became louder as she was probably letting go of her inhibition.
I don’t know why that happened, but I got really emotional. I was not jealous of Sophie, but I was jealous that those two were enjoying time together, something I’d probably never get with the girl I love. My masturbation felt so cold compared to the passion of two lovers. I started crying as I quickly got myself off, the spasms of the orgasms mixing with the ones from the crying were a rather sad mix, but I hope it would be enough to make me sleep.
I felt something on my bed, and I turned quickly to see what it was. Aiana was kneeling on my bed. She hugged me, in an apparent effort to ease my pain. She said, “shhh… It’s okay, I know he meant a lot, but you’ll meet someone great”. This disconnection between the real reason of my sadness and what she thought about me made me feel even more lonely. My tears continued running stronger. Trying to console me, Aiana laid next to me, cuddling my sad pathetic self from the pain she did not know she had caused.
As Sophie’s moans became more and more erratic in the next room. I turned to my roommate. “It was really fun when you kissed me though”, those words escaped my mouth, taking both of us by surprise. “Sorry, I don’t think I’m a good kisser though”, she replied. Still sobbing, I pressed my lips against hers. I regretted it immediately after. “Sorry”, I said, while burying my face in the pillow.
She turned me over, she was surprisingly strong that way I guess, climbed on top of me, and looked at me straight in the eyes. “I liked it too”, she whispered.
I don’t know how long we kissed for. It started very slowly and then it came by waves, powerful waves no one can stop. It would start in the legs, make its way through our hips and breasts, and fully bloom on our lips. I wanted more and more of her. I craved her skin, her lips, her eyes, all of her body. I wanted to taste her soul through our embrace.
It got really warm in my small bed. I took off my t-shirt, and before we knew it, we were both naked and cuddled together. Sasha had long gone from Sophie’s room, I wondered if she had a good time. Did she have a good orgasm?
My hands started exploring Aiana’s body. I had seen her naked before, but never from so close. She had much bigger breast than me, they felt so soft as well. She giggled as my hand caressed her chest. I wanted to go lower, where I could almost see her mound through the little bush of dark hair that guarded her intimacy. Before I could explore more deeply, she whispered to my ears: “I know what will make you feel better”.
She turned me on my belly and proceeded to give me a back massage. It felt great, but I was missing her lips. Before I could complain, I felt one of her hand get under me, getting awfully close to my lips. I tried to loosen up her grip, but all it did is press her palm directly on top of my clit. With her sitting on me, there was so much pressure on her hand it instantly felt so damn good. “Just relax”, she said seeing how tense I suddenly was.
She lowered herself so she could kiss my neck. Her hand started pressing in a circular movement around the junction of my thighs, sending me to another dimension of pleasure. It felt so different to have someone else touch me down there. Not necessarily better, but different. She got more and more enthusiastic as I signalled how great it felt. She inserted two fingers inside of me. I was electrified for a second or two. I hurt a little, but I wanted her to continue this, almost violently. “please, don’t hold back, please”, I supplicated her.
She was breathing heavily, probably from the exhausting movements she had to do. I put my hand on top of hers to stabilize it and moved my hips almost violently around her finger. I was getting closer to the orgasm. I could feel it building up slowly. I took a deep breath and held it, buried my face deep into the pillow, clenched my whole body. It was coming, closer and closer. Almost there. And then, with the last hip movement, my body tensed even more and then completely relaxed and tensed again. I could not control it anymore. I finally exhaled, trying not to make too much noise.
Her hand was sore, and she was getting cold, so I pushed her back under the cover. We looked at each other and started laughing uncontrollably.
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/n0u4xy/confession_3_the_roommate_ff_masturbation