This is the second of my responses to questions (and some comments) I have received about previous posts. Part one is linked at the bottom.
If you want to become a sensual massage maven, ignore all the videos on Pornhub, et al. Generally speaking, porn is at best a caricature of real life. With very few exceptions, the videos are staged or loosely scripted and in no way represent what happens in a quality sensual massage. A few examples:
First, women are (again, generally speaking) quite different from men. A woman will not typically try to have sex with you just because you rubbed some oil on her skin for a few minutes. I think that should be obvious. The larger point here, however, is that your objective in giving a sensual massage should not be to lure someone into sex. If that is why you are thinking about giving massages, please don’t. You will ruin it for yourself and make it more difficult for the rest of us.
If you can learn to truly enjoy providing another person with pleasure you will significantly increase the amount of pleasure in your own life. You might find that there is another level of satisfaction that you can’t get from seeking your own gratification. Most women already expect men to be mostly about themselves anyway. Being something different will be appreciated. A no-strings-attached orgasm is about as different as you can get.
Second, you should not try to put her hand on your penis or whip it out and try to stick it anywhere unless she has explicitly asked you to. If she wants to engage with you, she is a person with her own choices and is perfectly capable of taking that step on her own. Again, do not expect it.
As stated above, she probably expects something like that from you unless you have proven yourself already. Women have come to assume that ulterior motives lie just beneath the surface. A hug turns into an ass grab. A shoulder rub comes with an expectation of more. A massage will certainly have a price tag of reciprocation attached. The bar has been set exceedingly low. Rising above it should not be difficult.
Third, she will most likely feel very uncomfortable if you begin with her naked and uncovered. A brightly lit room can also be a little distressing for her. I have been giving massages for years and only once have I had the offer of a covering sheet turned down. Remember that if she is uncomfortable, she will have difficulty relaxing and enjoying the massage.
There are two positive things you can learn from the videos, however. First, spend the money and buy a table. It is not that expensive and it will make her experience infinitely better than trying to do the massage on a bed or another surface. You can get an adequate massage table for $100 and unless you’re going pro, you shouldn’t spend more than about $200.
Second, spend some more money and get some proper massage oil. And get the good stuff, not from the bargain bin. It is entirely necessary to do a proper massage and the quality oils won’t turn tacky while you are using it.
My suggestion: Don’t waste your time on massage video porn. Find some videos showing proper massage technique. Use your time to learn and build your skill.
One final thought on massage and video. One question I have been asked repeatedly is, “Do you have any videos of yourself giving women massages?” No, I don’t. Let me say, if your idea is to surreptitiously record women in intimate moments, you’re a dick. And possibly a criminal depending on where you live. Don’t be a dick.
Also, your focus should be on her, in that moment. Not on what the video is capturing or performing for yourself or someone else to watch later. When someone lies down in front of you and lets you touch their body, they are granting you a gift. Don’t abuse that gift. Treat it–and the giver–with appreciation and respect. Maybe you will get another chance if you do.
Part 1: https://www.reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/ltra24/massage_advice_mf_massage/
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/m2xyv4/massage_advice_pt_2_massage_videos_massage