Tindering in Uganda [MF] [MF] [MF]

[Originally written March, 2017]

It’s my final day of an approximately 10-day trip to Uganda, partly for business and partly for pleasure. Regular readers will recall that I love checking out the sex scene in other parts of the world and understanding what the norms and conventions are, how people go about doing the dating and mating dance, and all of that.

For that reason I’ve been looking forward to this trip for a while. While I did have my South African Stripper encounter a few years back I haven’t had a lot of experience with sex on the African continent and I was excited to experience it a bit more first-hand. I did go on OK Cupid a few months ago just to see what was what and it was pretty much a wasteland. So I figured I’d try Twitter, another trusty standby, or if that didn’t work out I figured I’d hang out at some bars and nightclubs and check out the scene there.

As it turned out there was no need to hang out in bars and nightclubs.

My first day I had a travel day in Entebbe, Uganda’s main airport. After I got settled into the hotel I headed into the downtown area to get some cash and a beer and fire up Tinder to see what was what. I proceeded to swipe through a series of women, all of whom were Ugandan and lived somewhat within the vicinity. 

To my surprise and delight, I was getting a bunch of immediate matches – meaning they had already seen my profile and liked it. Even though I had been in the country just a few hours. I realized pretty quickly that I would have to be pretty selective in my like or I would quickly become inundated with matches. So I continued, liking maybe one out of six or seven matches.

I initiated a bunch of conversations and a bunch of the women reached out to me. One thing I should mention is that while my normal age range (in the U.S.) starts at late 30s/early 40s and goes up, I went ahead and opened it up for this trip just to get the lay of the land. And the vast majority of the women I was connecting with turned out to be in their 20s.

It turned out to be a bit of a feeding frenzy. I had women coming onto me, flirting with me, initiating the conversation. I assumed it was because I was an exotic, white, U.S. businessman in town, and I went with it. I probably had a dozen conversations going but pretty quickly narrowed it down to a very beautiful young woman named Innocent (ironic, huh?) who had the advantage of living very nearby since she worked at the Entebbe airport.

She and I arranged to meet for lunch at a restaurant she suggested. I made my way there and when she arrived I could tell she had pulled out all the stops. She was wearing a completely body-hugging black dress, with a push-up bra and full-on makeup. And she had the African hips and booty. I was tempted to see if I could balance my beer on her protruding ass. Not sure that would have quite worked, but I bet I could have done a spoon.

She seemed a little nervous at first, and we stumbled around to find topics of conversation. After all, she and I came from different worlds. But she is lovely and charming, and quite intelligent, and soon enough we were laughing and engaging. Over lunch I proposed going back to my hotel room to hang out. Knowing exactly what I had in mind, she told me she thought she’d go for it but suggested we go down to the beach for a bit first, which we did, and which was very fun.

Eventually we made it back to the hotel room and had a fantastic time. I went down on her and she sucked me off, after which we fucked and had a nice orgasm.

I should probably put in a word about safe sex here. I (obviously?) always follow a safe sex doctrine, and here in Africa is no different. I’m also finding it interesting that the women I’ve seen so far this trip have been even more vigilant about safe sex conversations and practices than I am. I know there has been quite a bit of education from the government about safe sex and that it’s been very successful in reducing the AIDS rate. And people seem to be taking it to heart here. Which is great news, all around.

After my date with Innocent, I was off to the mountain areas where I did some gorilla trekking (which was also an amazing experience), then came back to Kampala where I had a week’s worth of business meetings and work. But while at the gorillas lodge I continued conversations with a number of the women in the Kampala area I had met while near the airport and learned more about sex in Uganda.

For one thing, I was definitely a center of attention. I had women proposition me and one sent me nude selfies without my even asking. At one point I had like five different conversations going simultaneously and was having a hard time keeping track of what I had said to whom. The dilemma I was having was that I had a limited number of time slots when I arrived in Kampala and was having a hard time narrowing it down!

Finally I decided to go with the two women who I found to be most attractive, both in terms of having beautiful faces and sexy bodies. I was able to easily get women to send me pictures at least in bikinis or skimpy dresses, and I decided to broach the sex subject with each of them before committing to them for dates. Both seemed game.

The first woman I met in Kampala actually turned out to be a less-than-positive experience. In fact, I briefly considered at that point throwing in the towel on sex in Uganda for the rest of the trip. The reason being that she had previously asked if I’d pay her uber fare, which I readily agreed to (being the gentleman, not to mention the foreigner with more money), but what I didn’t fully appreciate was that she lived about two hours away and her transportation came to $80 – one way!  There are cheaper ways to travel mind you but she hired a private car since it was on my dime.

That didn’t start me out in the right frame of mind, but she was lovely, and she had come to my hotel, so I decided to roll with it. We ordered lunch and she proceeded to order nearly everything she could find on the menu. It was starting to become clear to me that she was looking to me as a source of money – and was offering sex in exchange. But still I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and go with it, until we reached my hotel room and just as I was starting to put the moves on her to get her to my bed, she explicitly asked me how much I was ready to pay her.

I just about lost it at that point. The little money-grubbing things up to that point had put me on edge, and being explicitly asked to pay for sex was well beyond my limits. I told her I had no interest whatsoever and asked her to leave, but not before she made a scene and I finally agreed to reimburse her for her transportation home. Ugh. Out probably $200 (with the lunch bill included) with only a bad taste in my mouth to show for it. If this was the way it worked between Ugandan girls and foreign men, I wasn’t interested in having any part of it.

But I had a date already set for later that same night so rather than canceling, I decided to go with it. Her name was Anuncio and I may have been the most excited about her, if for no other reason than I found her pictures the most beautiful and I found her to be extremely intelligent and engaging over Tinder. So okay, it was one for one so far so I figured let’s see how this one goes.

In some ways Anuncio was the most interesting of the three dates. I decided as part of an “inoculation” strategy to share with her the second (asking of money for sex) date in sort of a “ha, ha, can you believe that?” sort of way. I actually did the same thing with some of the other women I was chatting with, just to get their views.

I learned some interesting things from Anuncio and the other women. First, I learned that Tinder in Uganda at least, although I suspect throughout Africa, is a place where local women meet foreign men. There were very few Ugandan men on Tinder (I confirmed myself; I got a couple of my dates to open up their phones and show me who they had marched with and to swipe through a few guys’ profiles). And of the hundreds of profiles I swiped through, I saw a grand total of two non-Ugandan (i.e., white) women.

The other interesting thing I learned is that Ugandan women have been trained to expect to be paid by foreign guys, and that the men expected to have to pay the women for sex. Anuncio showed me an exchange she had had with a guy in which the second or third thing he said to her was along the lines of “I don’t have much time, am only here for a few days, would love to see you. What’s your rate?”  She was incensed by this and replied with her standard response that she would need to be paid more than $1,000 per night – a ridiculous fee of course – to see him.

So in retrospect it’s hard to blame date #2 for expecting to be paid. And actually, she thought she had brought this up with me while messaging, although we were using different language. When I broached the subject of sex leading up to our date, she said as long as there was a happy ending in it for her, she was in. I, thinking of the happy ending you may or may not get in a massage parlor, assumed she meant that she would get an orgasm too, and readily agreed. She told me (later) that in doing so I had agreed to her request to pay her for sex. Ah, language and terminology barriers. Such an interesting thing.

Okay, back to dinner with Anuncio. We went to a nice restaurant. It was quite nice actually. Lovely view and outside balcony, great food, interesting company. She was very intelligent and educated, working as a controller for a local company. Finally I suggested we go back to my hotel, believing it to be a foregone conclusion, but she challenged me and asked me – specifically – what I was asking her to do. 

A tad dumbfounded, mostly because I had made my intentions clear for days leading up to that point, I told her I wanted to go back to my hotel room and have sex with her. To my surprise, she stated that she wasn’t yet sure if she would be doing that or not, because she doesn’t sleep with guys on the first date. I told her that was fine, and if our date for the evening was over then I had had a lovely time, but she basically had to let me know as we would either need to get into a single car or separate cabs at that point. She continued to make non-committal noises while I ordered a (single) uber and we both got in it and returned to my hotel. 

I walked her to the bar, ordered two drinks, and ushered her up to my room. Which she accompanied me to without a word of protest. But then in the room she went back and forth about should she or shouldn’t she have sex with me, giving me signals she wanted to but then pulling away when I kissed her, etc. I kept telling her there was no pressure, that I had my share of fun, and if she wasn’t into it we could simply finish our drinks and she could leave. But she didn’t want to do that either. 

I suggested I give her a massage, that if she was up for that I would enjoy it and I would hope she would as well. She agreed, so I gave her a back massage, which turned into a full body massage with her completely naked. But she didn’t seem entirely comfortable and cut it short and got dressed. Which again, I told her was totally fine. She even called an Uber and I told her I had had a nice evening, but she was looking at me and asking if she should cancel the Uber and stay. By that point I just about had it with her and told her that if SHE wanted to stay she was welcome to, but if she cancelled the Uber then she was no longer allowed to do the virgin whore act, and that she had to do so willingly and enthusiastically.

To her credit, she did in fact cancel the Uber, and she did seem to flip some sort of switch. We fucked, but not before I sucked her off and she tried to reciprocate. I don’t know how often she had been gone down on but she went absolutely crazy at the touch of my tongue to her clit, screaming and writhing with pleasure. That was certainly fun. Then she went down on me, well sort of. It was a crude approximation of what you would see in porn, as she popped her head up and down with amazing speed but not really giving me any pleasure. She even asked me if she was doing it right.

I coached her a bit, told her to slow down and just suck and enjoy it. She got a bit better at that point, but she only did it for a few minutes. So I decided it was time to fuck her.

One thing I haven’t really described is these women’s bodies. Both Innocent and Anuncio had the really dark black skin you almost never see in the U.S. but which is prevalent in Africa. Which meant the skin on their tits blended almost seamlessly into their nipples. Their beautiful black pussies parted to expose pink surprises within. And both of them had amazing, round asses – although Innocent had the big, round, African booty while Anuncio was small and tight, with almost no hips.

So Anuncio ended up being a very nice date in the end, although infuriating along the way. I like women who are sexually empowered and do it for their own reasons. Consent is sexy and I am not in the business of talking someone into having sex against her wishes. That’s not what happened with Anuncio of course; she did want to have it. But she wanted to SEEM as though she didn’t want to, that she was being a good girl.

Which, as I continued to Tinder, I found out is another common thing in Uganda. Women feel pressure not to seem to want it too much.

It didn’t end there. I had another date last night with a lovely woman named Loryn. She was short with an incredibly tight, compact body. She had a very dry sense of humor and was a lot of fun. But she also wanted a foreign boyfriend, seemingly for the somewhat long term. She dated a guy from Sweden for a bit more than a year when he flew into down and she was looking for a way to get to the U.S. or Europe.

Which was another thing I learned. Nearly everyone I encountered wanted a ticket to the U.S. and would have been very delighted has I been their means of getting there. 

I could have had more dates tonight but decided to stay in and write this entry instead. Don’t ask me why. Too many “just off” experiences I guess. I’ve definitely enjoyed my adventures here and I’ve learned a whole lot. But at the end of the day I’m finding I don’t have all that much in common with my new African friends. Other than a cock that fits nicely inside their pussies.

And sometimes you need just a bit more than that. 

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/lzf656/tindering_in_uganda_mf_mf_mf