Pepa knew paradise when she saw one. A small beach town located at the southern tip of the country, Kovalam was filled with tourists and fishermen. Six months ago, Pepa moved into Kovalam with her boyfriend Air. Pepa and Air lived beyond the tourists traps, in the hinterlands. Time in Kovalam went by idly cycling around town, watching sunset at the lighthouse on the eastern beach and sunrise from atop the promontory looking over at the black sands of the western beach, waves lapping the coastline. Friendship came easy to Air and he made friends with the local fishermen over shared cigarettes. Pepa loved walking around on brick roads lined with coconut groves. The sound of waves crashing on shoreline never dulled wherever they went, the sun making everything golden in its twilight hours. There wasn’t any question about it, this was paradise.
Pepa and Air had been together for five years. It started at the mall, he was her barista and she was charmed. Pepa had resigned herself to never finding a man she would respect and be attracted to. Air simply didn’t want to anchor himself, hence a relationship was completely out of the question for him. It would have been an inconvenience had they not liked each other so much so that they changed their plans, got over their resignations and fell into the comfort of the other’s arm.
Pepa knew she was in love with Air on their first date, when he walked her back to her apartment. Pepa adored how warm Air was, laughing at her jokes and silliness, and the more she got to know him the fuzzy feeling in her intensified. Air was warm, kind, funny, the life of the party and in their years together she never met a friend or stranger who didn’t take an immediate liking to Air’s magnetic personality. They spent the last five years together. They travelled the country and hustled together to meet ends doing odd jobs on the road. But life on the road was starting to get strenuous. Pepa was a creature of comfort and the beach had always been a source of comfort. When Pepa and Air found themselves with enough money to be able to stop for a while, Pepa and Air agreed that it couldn’t get better than living by the beach. Or so she thought.
“I have to leave,” Air blurted out one evening sitting on the rocks. The sun was about to set, birds calling out to each other, racing back to their nests. Pepa was taken aback. “What?” she asked incredulously, staring at Air whose eyes looked on into the horizon “I was not expecting to hear that. Are you not happy here?” Air didn’t meet her eyes. Clenching and unclenching his jaw, he continued looking into the distance. “I am… I was, I thought I was,” Air said slowly. “I have been feeling this way for a while and it’s not going away.” Pepa looked at Air. Her Air, her beautiful Air, his brows furrowed, hands fidgeting with his cigarette, eyes looking down, his voice earnest. She followed his gaze, not knowing what to say. Tiny red crabs were scuttling around the beach.
“If you are not happy, I understand,” she sighed. “We can look for a new place. What about the hills? We can go up north!” Pepa suggested softly.
Air looked up at Pepa, “Babe, I love you…”
“I love you more.”
“It’s not about the place.” Air measured his words out.
“I don’t understand,” whimpered Pepa.
“Pepa, there is nothing to live here for,” Air responded, dejectedly.
“That is the point, Air. Is there really anything to live for anyway?” Pepa pointed out, pausing. When Air said nothing in response, she continued, “We are living on a rock hurtling down an ever-expanding space. There is no purpose. You told me that. Purpose is whatever you want to live for.”
“I… yes, I get that but.. but” Air stammered, uneasiness taking over his voice.
“Hey, talk to me. Help me understand,” Pepa reached for Air’s hands, holding them in hers.
“I don’t understand it myself. I have been feeling this way for a while. There is no reason for me to get up anymore… it’s making me uneasy. I don’t want to sound ungrateful because I am not… but none of this..” he said pointing at the ocean, the sun hanging half way on the horizon painting the sky shades fuschia and crimson, “pushes me to wake up tomorrow.” The indigo had just started seeping from above, waves breaking down after reaching its full height.
“I don’t know. It sounds like I am ungrateful and I am not but I… I am not feeling a lot of happiness anymore. All I feel is uneasiness.”
Pepa held his hands tighter, pain growing in her chest, not knowing what to say but she understood how he felt. They sat in silence.
“Pepa, I think I want a break. I.. I can’t do this anymore”
“Alright, we can take a break. We can go back or anywhere else you need to go.”
“Pepa,” Air looked into her eyes, none of his usual twinkle there anymore, “I want to be alone.”
The waves were coming in stronger than before, crashing on the shore spraying the young lovers holding hands looking at each other. Neither uttered a word.
In silence, Pepa’s heart started sinking into her stomach. Her stomach fused with her gut. Suddenly all the air in the world ran out. Her body was no longer in her control, her brain taking up all its energy trying to process Air’s words. Twilight fell. Pepa stood up and started to walk back to their rented home. She looked back at Air, still sitting on the rocks, eyes following the trail of a lonely red crab. “You coming?” Pepa asked.
“You go ahead, I’ll be there in sometime,” Air answered.
Pepa turned and started walking towards their home. She had a half smoked joint in the pocket of her dress. She lit it up and wiped away a tear, as if on cue more streamed across her face. She could control it no longer; she broke down on the side of the road. A man passed her by on his cycle, homeward bound. Pepa started to walk towards her home again, tears staining her face. By the time she reached her front porch, she had smoked away her joint. She was still crying and the weed did nothing to dull out the voices in her head. “I am not unlovable,” she muttered to herself under her breath. “I am not unlovable.” But am I not not though? Everyone ran away. She thought it would be different with Air. She hoped it would be and for a long while it was. “You always manage to push them away,” the voice chimed in, “or there is nothing in you to excite him, to inspire him to be with you.” Pepa’s breath came short, the tears unstoppable at this point. “You made him unhappy, you killed his desire to live, to wake up – in a paradise.” Pepa’s sobs grew louder; she clutched her knees to her chest, holding herself together while the voices continued disparaging her.
She had no sense of time when she heard Air in the kitchen, moving around dishes. It took Pepa a second to remember what had happened earlier in the evening. For a second, things were just like they always were. Her heart sank again. “Air,” she croaked out, her voice hoarse. “Coming,” Air responded.
“I’m making dinner,” he announced in reply to a question no one had asked. “Can we talk?” Pepa asked. “Yeah, gimme a second,” he said and went back to the kitchen. Pepa waited for Air as he finished up in the kitchen, biting her cheek dreading each second.
Pepa hadn’t noticed Air come in and sit beside her.
“Is there something wrong with me?”
“No.”
“You are not happy with me?”
“I am not happy despite being with you.”
Pepa fell silent. Air didn’t interrupt her.
“Okay. I get it.”
“Do you?”
“I guess,” Pepa murmured. “I get that you need to do things for yourself for a while. I get that. I just wished that you would enjoy things with me as much as I enjoy doing it with you.”
“But I can understand wanting to be alone. I understand the appeal and I won’t make you do something you don’t want to do. I won’t force you to stick around for my sake. That’s just.. that’s just not how it should be. I get it.” Pepa snorted back her runny nose, “but it hurts,” she broke down again. Air pulled her closer to him, one arm around her and the other brushing away her hair sticking to her face.
Pepa looked up at Air. “It’s not someone else right?” Air chuckled despite himself, he shook his head no. “This is not funny,” Pepa shot back. “I am sorry,” he said slowly. Pepa reached for his face and found his eyes wet. She wiped his eyes and pulled him into her arms. He held her, his arms getting tighter around her and she felt protected once again. She held onto him but pulled away after a moment breaking their embrace but Air pulled her back. His hands cupping her face and he kissed her. And he kissed her again. And again. It started out slowly, softly, almost comforting at first, then it was passionate, animalistic, primal all at once. Everything was happening too fast. One moment they were just kissing, the next they were pulling at each other frantically, holding the other, not wanting to let go. Their kisses growing hungrier, tongues wrapping around each other, hands holding onto any fragment of the other they could grab. His fingers twisted in her hair, her nails digging into his skin. Air pulled Pepa onto his lap and her legs wrapped around him.
Pepa could feel his hardness against her, Air could feel her heat on him. He pulled off the strappy summer dress Pepa was wearing and threw it across the dark room revealing her petite body and the white bra she was wearing underneath her dress. Air’s mouth found its way down her neck, kissing it, biting it. He pulled her closer by her waist, her breasts pressed against him. Pepa grabbed a fistful of his hair pulling his face and kissing him hard, biting his soft lips. Air unhooked her bra, removing it from between them. He pulled away from their kiss and looked at her, now in nothing but a flimsy, white cotton panties. Her face was flushed, arms wrapped around his shoulder, her bare breasts heaving with every breath she took. His mouth reached for her soft breasts. First, circling her coffee brown nipples with his tongue making it hard and then flicking it, sucking it, nibbling it gently. Pepa arched her back and let out a moan. Air grabbed her other breast, squeezing and then twisting and pulling her now rock hard nipples. He started to suck on the other nipple.
Pepa moaned louder, aroused. Her white panties had soaked through and she couldn’t bear it any longer. She started to move her hips in circles, grinding her clit against Air’s manhood through his slacks. She wanted him now, inside her, filling every inch of her and never let him go. Her hands ran all over his body till it found what she wanted. She unzipped his slacks and pulled out his cock, her hands wrapped around it, tugging and pulling at it. Pepa climbed down from Air’s embrace, pulled his slacks along with his boxers down, knelt before him and took him in her mouth. At first Pepa just sucked on Air’s tips, letting her tongue bathe it with her saliva and pulling his foreskin down. It was now Air’s moan that filled the room. He took a fistful of Pepa’s hair guiding her bobbing head on his dick. Her tongue wrapped around his cock – one moment her tongue was slathering his full length up and down, the other it was lapping at the underside of his head. Pepa never let her eyes lose sight of Air, she watched his face lost in ecstasy while she took him all in, her throat gagging, her eyes watering. She pulled away, a trail of saliva still connecting him to her. She went back and took his balls in her mouth, sucking on them gently, while her hands stroked him.
Air pulled Pepa up by her hair for a passionate kiss and pushed her on the couch. Getting on top of her, he hungrily kissed every inch of her soft, bare, smooth skin till he reached her womanhood. Her panty completely soaked through in her wetness, her pussy emanating heat. Air looked up at Pepa, their eyes locked with each other and slowly circled Pepa’s clit through her panties. Shivers ran through Pepa’s spine and she had lost any semblance of control over her body. Spasming with every flick of thumb on her clit, wanting more than his thumb. Air pulled her panties to a side, revealing her pussy glistening in its own juice. He dragged his tongue from the bottom to the top till his tongue reached her clit. Feeling his hot, wet tongue on her clit was too much for Pepa and her moans turned into screams, calling out to God. Air pulled her panties with far too much strength ripping it. He drove his tongue inside Pepa, lapping at her moisture, his thumb circling and brushing at Pepa’s clit while squeezing and pulling at Pepa’s breasts with his other hand. Pepa lost herself in ecstasy, waves of orgasm flowing through her, her legs shivering, her body spasming. When she came down from her high, Air was still in between her legs, licking her off. She called out his name and he looked at her. She pulled him into a long, hungry, primal kiss, devouring him. Her dripping wet pussy brushed against his rock hard cock, and the next moment he slid into her. Pepa gasped into Air’s mouth and he thrust into her. Another thrust, then another and then Air was thrusting inside Pepa furiously, Pepa screaming for him to go harder, her legs wrapped around Air. Air pinned her arms above her head, running his tongue over her breast, sucking at her nipples he kept his pace, fucking Pepa hard and fast. Pepa started to feel another orgasm take over her body. “I’m gonna cum” she screamed out. Air himself was getting closer, “me too, baby,” he panted pounding her faster and harder till they both came, their bodies shaking together as they climaxed.
For a while, all you could hear in the darkened room were two heavy breathing in unison. They didn’t say a word, trying to prolong this moment for eternity. Air looked into Pepa’s big brown eyes which were already lost in his and brushed aside stray hair from her face. He pulled her for a kiss and Pepa held on to him, not wanting to let go of this.
They got off each other, cleaned themselves. They shared their dinner, made their bed and laid on it. Air held Pepa close to his chest slowly brushing her hair and kissing her cheeks while she ran her hand through his chest. Neither wanting tomorrow to come.
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/libplo/fm_kovalam_tales