[MM] In which a 22 year old me is surprised to find just how curious he is.

*Quick intro note: I’m a handsome, vaguely articulate, well-educated and generally successful 38 year-old, pervert. I have a long history of dirtiness, and there’s something about the last 11(!) months of confinement that has had me reminiscing about my past and some of my hottest experiences. I’ve decided I’m going to start chronicling them here, to keep them from disappearing altogether. Let me know if they’re enjoyable and feel free to say hello. I like penpals.*

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I don’t, honestly, remember the first time I found myself curious about another man. I was always open sexually and have always enjoyed mining the dirtier corners of my mind and seeing what I found. But by and large, I’m straight and always have been. And that’s what made what happened with James such a surprise.

This was back in college, sometime during the summer that I turned 22. I spent that summer house-sitting for a professor of mine. He spent his summers up in Vermont, and would always have a few grad students crash at his place while he was away. I was the only undergrad.

The house was way out in the country, and the town I went to school in was already way out in the country. So for a house to be way out in the country relative to that tiny little Midwestern town means it was basically as remote as houses get. It sat up on a little bluff at the end of a gravel driveway that was easily half a mile long. And so, me and the other folks crashing there spent a lot of that summer sitting on the porch, smoking weed, drinking, and talking obnoxiously about literature and poetry and film. I didn’t know any of the other housemates well, and had only met one at all. Her name was Alex. She’d been an instructor in a course I’d taken the semester before, and we’d gotten to know each other in a pleasant, passing way. Well enough that when she heard I was looking for a place to crash that summer, she told me to reach out to Dr. Hollins.

Alex was in a PhD program studying 20th Century American poetry. She’d gone to Brown undergrad, which at that school, made her a bit of a big deal. She’d grown up in New Jersey, in a big Greek family, and was kind and generous in a way that could actually distract you from how insanely sexy she was. Alex was tall and thin — not as tall as me, so maybe 5’10 or so, and thin enough that when she wore tank tops around that summer, you could catch glimpses of rib cage through the drape of the shirt’s arm hole. She had thick, long, curly black hair and olive skin that just got darker as the summer wore on. She had tiny, perky tits and nipples that were constantly visible. At the time, I think she was 26 or 27. And because of all of that, it never occurred to me that she and I might be anything at all.

But one night, drunk and up late smoking cigarettes on the porch, we kissed. And then the next night, we fucked. And that started a brief but intense summer fling. But that’s only really relevant because Alex is how I met James, and ultimately, James and I bonded because of Alex. The two of them had gone to college together, and since James had been basically doing nothing. As nearly as I could tell, he traveled a lot, drank, and smoked weed. He’d only come out to visit for Alex, and the whole time was vaguely annoyed that he was visiting her on a farm in the Midwest, when the plan had initially been for her to go crash at his parents’ place on Block Island.

James and I got along pretty much right away, even though I knew he was also fucking Alex. The best way I can explain it is that when you’re 22, you don’t know shit about yourself, but you’re just barely smart enough to at least be aware of it. And James was older and more self-actualized than I was and I recognized in him a lot of things I wanted in myself. He was smart, funny, and pretty resolutely himself. He could hold a conversation and listened actively. He wanted to know the people around him. He was comfortable with them knowing him. And he didn’t seem inclined to do anything with his life he wasn’t fully interested in doing. I was a semester from graduating at that point, and who I’d end up being still felt very much in doubt. It’s not really the sort of thing [r/gonewildstories](https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/) is here to read, but in certain important ways, spending that summer with Alex and James left me much less intimidated by the fact that the rest of my life was coming fast. And of course, James was fucking hot. He had short, dark hair and scruff, with really light blue eyes and a tall, slim frame. He’d been a swimmer in prep school, and he looked like it. When he stood next to me, he was easily tall enough that he would have had to lean down to kiss me. Not that I’d ever considered that.

The night it happened, Alex, James and I were at a townie bar about 15 miles from the house. It was basically always empty, especially in the summers, when the regular patrons could actually make use of the rest of the town without thousands of annoying, drunk 18-22 year olds ruining it for them. The three of us sat in a booth, drinking beer and shot deals, smoking cigarettes (inside, this was 2004) and before too long, the night got away from us. I hold my booze well, and so does James. But in the cab ride back to the house, Alex kept slumping, drunk, onto my shoulder. I’d nudge her awake, and she’d slump onto James’ shoulder. We helped her up the last part of the gravel driveway, and she didn’t even bother go to her room. She laid on the couch and was out cold.

James and I had a couple more drinks, smoked a joint, and called it a night, heading upstairs. Upstairs, there were just two bedrooms, separated by a small landing. The landing had been set up with a TV and a loveseat, there was also a small, shared bathroom. When we got upstairs, I said goodnight and James said he was going to grab a shower. I heard the water turn on. I stripped down to my boxers and climbed into bed, and tried to sleep.

When his shower ended, I heard him stumbling around out on the landing, and then heard him settle into the loveseat. I was just at that place temporarily, so most of my stuff was in boxes in the barn, but I’d brought up a DVD player and cardboard box with some movies. Including some porn. When you’re 22 and live in a college house with a bunch of straight dudes, there’s a shocking amount of porn that just shows up. Nobody ever buys it, but it’s somehow there. I’d made sure to grab a few of my favorites when I left my place at the end of Spring semester.

Sadly, I knew one of those DVDs well enough to immediately recognize the intro music. It was a scene in which a young, chubby teen girl gets fucked by two older men. It always made me cum very hard, watching them use her, the pleasure on her face, their cocks rubbing together inside of her. Knowing it was on in the other room, that James was watching it. Suddenly I was wide awake. I can’t explain exactly why my heart started beating so quickly, or how at that point I was so sure about what was about to happen. Somehow, I just knew this wasn’t an innocent mistake on James’ part. I knew he wanted me to be awake, wanted me to hear. I also knew that little things I’d brushed off about him before were real. That there was sexual tension between us. That the way we joked, the way we picked on each other, that we were flirting. I suddenly realized that there was a man just outside who had been gradually seducing me all summer. And that he was 15 feet away from me, in a basically empty house, stroking his cock.

I was, to be honest, terrified. But I was also incredibly hard. I have a nice, big, thick cock and I could feel the head pushing out of the waistband of my boxers. I started gently stroking. At first just aimlessly, but quickly my thoughts focused on James. I thought about what might happen if I went out there. I considered what I’d be comfortable with. I didn’t know. Very genuinely, my mind was a blur. I was thinking about dozens of things at once, nervous. uncertain. I remember feeling pre-cum dripping down the head of my cock. I remember trying to think of how to make the first move. What I should do, or say. I remember being scared that maybe I’d misread things. But mostly I remember being so turned on that I knew what was going to happen next, and knew, on some level, that it was never in question.

In the cool version of this story, I said something sexy when I stepped onto the landing, and James was staring up, waiting. But the reality is that I opened the door and just sort of stood there transfixed, watching him for what felt like 10 minutes, but was probably 8 seconds. He was completed naked, a towel on the floor in front of him. He was on the side of the loveseat closest to me, and I had a view of his profile. He was well hung, but maybe a bit smaller than me. Cut. When I walked out there, he was stroking himself with his left hand, and his right hand was massaging his balls. It took him a second to notice me, and when he did, stopped, just for a second and started to sit up. But he saw in my reaction, or lack of it, that it was okay. I honestly don’t know if we said a word to each other. I don’t remember any.

For a minute longer, I stood and watched. I alternated between the screen, which felt safer somehow, and between intently watching James. He started moaning, just a bit. I moved onto the loveseat next to him and started stroking myself through my boxers. I pulled the front of the boxers down eventually, and took out my cock. Our legs were pressed against each other, and we stayed like that for easily 15 minutes, stroking ourselves, taking each other in. He turned his head to look at me, and I took the chance to turn and make eye contact. He leaned in and we kissed. I’d never thought about kissing a man until that moment. I’d never imagined what it would feel like, or what it would make me feel. And after a second or ten, after I’d sufficiently worked through in my head what was happening, and that I was okay with it, I gave into how nice it felt. How it felt, in so many ways, exactly the same as kissing a woman, but somehow carried with it so much more vulnerability. It was an action capable of taking me places I’d never considered. It was insanely hot feeling that.

I don’t know how long James and I sat there making out and stroking our cocks. I don’t remeber when he took my cock into his hand, but I remember feeling his for the first time. I remember being surprised by how warm and soft it felt, despite the fact that was rock hard. I remember feeling him lean into me, his body tensing, and recognizing in him things I’d felt before. I remember knowing he was close, the rush of knowing he was about to cum, a level of pride even, and I remember needing to make him feel good. I remember how desperately I wanted to please him in that moment. I remember catching his eyes as I started to lean down, the glimmer of recognition, and the way he tensed slightly when I took him in my mouth. There was a moment of surprise when I realized how big it felt in my mouth, concern I would gag, but I took him as deeply as I could anyhow. He said something like “oh, fuck. that feels so good.” I started stroking myself faster, so turned on, I needed to cum. A minute later I felt his body convulse. Right as I started to slide his cock out of my mouth, the first spurt of cum hit my lip. It was hot, salty. It didn’t taste good, exactly, but wasn’t entirely unpleasant. Another spurt hit my tongue, and as I pulled my head up another more fully covered my lips and chin. The last few spurts dripped down onto his cock and stomach. I sat up and he leaned over and kissed me, tasting his cum on my lips. I came hard all at once, three thick gobs, followed by a couple of shorter spurts. The way I was leaning over to kiss him, my cock was angled towards him. I looked down and saw my cum covering his now softening, cock. I got up without a word and headed into my room, and passed out almost immediately.

We didn’t talk about it at all until Alex brought it up a few nights later.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/lfq5a8/mm_in_which_a_22_year_old_me_is_surprised_to_find