I [F] let my boyfriend choke [M]e for the first time

Quick back story:
I (F) have had my sexdrive, lust and general exploring of the sexual world, suppressed for basically the entire time I’ve been sexually active..
Former sex partners and boyfriends have manipulated and suppressed me to such an extreme, that it has taken me over 10(!) Years to feel comfortable about sex – and I’m still healing and learning ❤️

I’ve been with my current boyfriend for almost 8 years, and we love exploring together now, but slowly and in my phase (God I love that man for being so fucking patient with me)
And choking have never eeeeever been on the table, simply because I get high anxiety and can’t stand things around my neck, due to piror experiences where they have just done it without my permission.. My boyfriend have been allowed to touch and caress my neck every so often to help me get rid of my anxiety, and if I remove his hand, he knows that I can’t stand it that particular day.. (Again, omg I love him) ..

But last night was different…
I don’t know why or what happened, but we started having sex, quietly, wholesome, without words and just embracing each other..
He started caressing my neck, and then moved down my body, and I actually took his hand and placed it back onto my neck.. He didn’t squeeze or anything, just let me have my hand over his, letting me control the pressure and intensity.. and it was so hot ?
I felt so safe, so loved, so owned and so sexy all at once… I never ever in my life though I would be into it, as I’ve always connected it with abuse and dominance.. But I’m really really hoping this wasn’t a one time thing!

And as a perfect ending, after we were done, my boyfriend put my head on his chest, asking me if I was okay and why I suddenly wanted it.. I said that I didn’t know, but that I really liked it.. and he told me that he thought it was super hot ? I was legit just smiling on top of his chest, until we both fell asleep ❤️

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/l44oem/i_f_let_my_boyfriend_choke_me_for_the_first_time