**Chapter 17: Forever**
**Nadia**
A few more days. Then she would be Penny’s forever. A few more days before she could see her queen all in white and, in front of everyone, declare her love. Everyone would cheer. Everyone would see. Everyone would know.
Nadia paced around the bedroom. Penny was sleeping, and that gave Nadia time to think. She didn’t miss thinking during the day. She didn’t miss anything at all. Dolly could give Penny whatever she wanted, but only if Penny knew she wanted it. If Penny didn’t know she needed a cup of coffee or a nap or a massage, she didn’t ask for it. If she didn’t ask for it, she didn’t get it.
Every day they were getting better at integrating Nadia’s personality into Dolly. Ideally, Dolly would be a special sub personality within the daytime Nadia. It would be like subspace, a place Penny dropped Nadia down into when she wanted to play. Neither of them wanted Dolly 24/7 anymore. After having to command Nadia to do every little thing for a few days straight, it became tiresome.
More importantly, it was lonely.
Nadia looked at her bride to be. She wasn’t perfect. Nadia wasn’t an idiot. At night, when she had a moment to think, she mused over Joanna’s warning. Penny could be dangerous. She was volatile. She lashed out quickly and overdramatically. She had immense power and sometimes she was clumsy with it. She wasn’t perfect – not close to perfect – and Nadia put herself at risk to open up her mind to Penny’s machinations.
But she also had Ginger’s advice tingling in her brain. This is what she wanted. It’s hard to explain mindlessness, but Nadia walked through each day like a dream. She floated above her body, detached. Life was easy. It was on autopilot. She didn’t need to worry about what the day would bring or how she would get through it. That was Penny’s problem. Nadia had never seen Penny happier. Nadia had never been happier. This was better than decades of therapy and medication. She did what she wanted each day, but it was filtered through Penny. Being happy was as easy and involuntary as breathing.
The worst part of her days was the nighttime. She wasn’t miserable, but every night she stood at the edge of the same cliff, the same decision. She had one more decision to make. Penny was taking her deeper into The Rabbit Hole. Every night it was getting harder and harder to wake up, to be herself. Tonight was the first time in a week. She had to decide if this was her forever—if she truly trusted Penny with her eternity.
On nights like these, memories would flash through her mind. She saw her engagement and cringed. She saw the night in her hometown. The memories scared her. Penny often went too far, lost control in the moment. Did she want that forever?
More so, did she want to have no control forever? Dolly was nice, but it got old after a few days. Would this new integrated Nadia get old after a few months? God, what about years? What would years of mindlessness look like? Decades?
She looked at Penny again. She was so peaceful in her sleep, but it was an ordeal to get her there. That was the other problem. The big one. Could Dolly make Penny happy? Could a good little Nadia drone make her happy? She couldn’t make herself happy. It was tragic to think about it, but that much was clear. Penny craved control, but with it, she hurt herself and those around her. Did Nadia want Penny in charge of both of their lives? Or would it be better if she stayed as she was now, stressed but thinking, able to take care of this strange woman she loved so much.
“I hope the wedding makes you happy,” she whispered.
“Hmm?” Penny rolled over.
“Nothing, go back to sleep.”
“Come back to bed.”
The chandelier shook with the command. Nadia’s feet moved quickly, getting to the bed following the shortest possible path. Nadia got in under the covers, and snuggled up behind Penny, being the big spoon. Penny pulled one of Nadia’s arms around her, and Nadia sat there in the grey darkness, holding her bride to be.
The fog of the command cleared, and Nadia frowned. Penny controlled her without trying. She got her way all the time, even when she was half asleep, when she had no idea how powerful she was. Nadia imagined her grumpily waking up and telling Nadia to fuck off.
Nadia would. She’d fall to her knees, her hand going between her legs, and she’d fuck off greedily, moaning like a whore in heat through the whole thing, while Penny rolled over and went back to sleep, blissfully unaware of what she’d done.
The thought thrilled Nadia. Her body warmed at being told to fuck off. Maybe in public? She’d love to see Penny tell someone to fuck off at the next board meeting. God, that’d be hot.
She cleared her mind and settled down. That was the danger of this arrangement. Did she love Penny for the power? For the kinky hypnoplay? Or did she love the fragile woman in her arms? Could she love Penny without the power? Would she be the same person at all?
Nadia kissed Penny’s neck. She stayed asleep. Nadia did it again, tracing tiny kisses all over the back of Penny’s neck. Penny sighed in her sleep, arching slightly, but didn’t wake. Something in Nadia stirred. She needed to know. Just once. What was it like without the Doll?
Nadia slipped out of the covers and went to the edge of the bed. Putting the comforter over herself, she climbed up past Penny’s legs to her long and pale thighs. Once again, she began kissing lightly, making tiny circles with her lips all over Penny’s thighs. Her mistress, now just her bride-to-be, stirred and rolled over onto her back. Nadia smiled.
She carefully took the covers off her and Penny. There, in the soft moonlight pouring through their window, she drank in the sight of her fiancée. Penny Lane was magnificent. Her legs were toned and long. Her shift had bunched up around her hips, leaving her waist and smooth pussy exposed. Her arms were long, hovering over her head. She looked like an angel in free fall. No. With her hair sprawling out around her head, she looked like a princess floating through the ocean.
Nadia climbed back onto her, kissing her thighs, but making the circles slowly climb up, closer and closer to her goal. Penny sighed, and a hand came down, running over Nadia’s head, stroking her hair.
“Hm?” asked Penny.
“Shhhh. Go back to sleep,” said Nadia between kisses.
“Does my Dolly want to play?”
“Nadia wants to play. Just lie back. Relax. Enjoy it.”
“You should -”
“No!” hissed Nadia. She pulled her eyes from Penny’s soft skin and looked her fiancée in the eyes. “Don’t turn me into Dolly. Please.”
“What?” Penny’s eyes widened with hurt.
“Just for tonight,” Nadia said quickly. “One night. No control. Just us? Okay?”
Penny hesitated, her eyes darting to the window. Slowly, she looked back at Nadia, catching her gaze, and nodded.
“Good. Just relax.” Penny put her head back down, looking up at the ceiling. Nadia got back to work, kissing the thighs and inching the kisses higher and higher. She kissed Penny’s hips, and lifted her shift, kissing her stomach.
“Take it off,” said Nadia.
Penny waited. She preferred to fuck Nadia with her top on, but she sat up, and peeled off the shift, dropping it next to her before laying back down.
Nadia wrapped her hands around Penny’s torso as she climbed up her body, kissing the tiny trail from her belly button to between her breasts. Penny sighed again, and Nadia sensed the tension fade from her body. Nadia kissed around Penny’s breasts, careful to avoid the nipples. She paid special attention to spots normally ignored, kissing for minutes under Penny’s breasts while her hands massaged Penny’s skin. Penny moaned softly, encouraging Nadia to continue.
When she thought Penny was ready, Nadia lightly kissed Penny’s nipples. Penny arched her back, and her nipples stiffened. Nadia smiled. She kissed them again, and Penny moaned. She gave one a quick lick, barely touching them with her tongue.
“Just kiss them,” whispered Penny.
Nadia’s vision blurred. Her body went tight. She went back to kissing, ever so slightly, never parting her lips or using her tongue. She teased them until the tightness left her body. She broke away from Penny’s chest, sitting up as she climbed her fiancée’s body.
Penny’s eyes were closed, but there was a faint smile on her lips. It was precious. Nadia stroked the side of her face, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “Let me do this, love,” she whispered. “For you. For us. Let me be me.”
“Kiss me,” whispered Penny.
The tightness returned, and Nadia bent down and kissed Penny. It started soft, another teasing kiss with tight lips, but Penny wrapped her hand around the base of Nadia’s head. She pulled the redhead in tighter and spread her lips. Nadia felt the passion and heat bloom in her, and when Penny broke away, they were both breathing heavily.
The tightness faded with the command complete. Now Nadia wanted a kiss. She bent back down and kissed Penny with all of herself. They were two waves crashing into each other. They were rolling winds of heat and desire, washing over each other. They were breath and nerve. They were want and need. They were craving and satisfaction.
Nadia blushed when Penny’s tongue slid into her mouth, but her neck arched into it, allowing Penny to take whatever she wanted. Penny’s hands slid down Nadia’s back, clawing at her bra. She unhinged it, and Nadia gasped as it fell from her shoulders, her breasts exposed and needy.
Nadia climbed higher over her lover’s lap, arching her back and offering her breasts to Penny. She accepted, teasing Nadia’s nipples with her tongue. Nadia wanted something to do with her hands, some pleasure to return, but all she could do was run her hands through Penny’s hair, holding the blonde closer to her, encouraging her to give more. Harder. Wetter.
Penny broke away. “Eat me out,” she moaned.
The tightness returned. Nadia tried to fight it. She’d never really tried to resist Penny’s commands before, but now she steeled herself against it. She put the entirety of her will against Penny’s command. At first, she simply thought about how she didn’t want that. Not yet. Then she tried to make the command repulsive, as though eating Penny out was the last thing she wanted to do in the world. She tried to make it sound disgusting, like she tasted of cigarette ash or something.
But the world went away. Color drained from her decision. There were no shades of grey to it, only black and white, obey or disobey. There were only Penny’s will and oblivion, yes or no, stay or go, live or die.
Nadia slithered down Penny’s body, kissing as she went. Penny spread her legs as Nadia’s hair danced across her skin, and Nadia beheld her prize. She smiled. She loved eating out Penny. She loved obeying Penny. She loved this. All of it.
Nadia licked slowly, and the tightness faded from her body. Her mind reeled, trying to get its bearing, but her tongue kept licking. Penny ran her hands through Nadia’s hair, writhing on the bed. She was soaked. Jesus. When was the last time Penny was this turned on?
Nadia didn’t have time to stall. She needed to eat Penny out. That much was true. It was like needing to breathe. Eating Penny out was an absolute essential of life. But she needed to think, and thinking was so hard. What did she want? She couldn’t remember. Did she want Penny to eat her out? No. She eats Penny out. That’s how it goes. That’s how it’s always gone.
What did Nadia want? It didn’t matter, did it? Even then, Nadia’s hands crept up Penny’s body. She wanted to hold onto her, to cling and clutch and claw. She wanted Penny’s back to arch, to feel her mistress throw herself at her. There was a taste of Penny’s hunger, but Nadia wanted all of it.
Yes. That’s what she wanted.
Nadia ran her hands up Penny’s body, licking deeper and faster as they went. Penny arched her back, thrusting her hips forward and moaning again. Nadia’s hands found Penny’s tits, and she clutched them, digging her fingers in as hunger took her. She expected Penny to tell her to stop, to command her to be gentler or slow down. Instead, the blonde writhed again, her moans filling the room.
Nadia’s fingers found flesh on flesh on flesh. They found stiffened nipples and teased them, flicking them at first, but then pulling on them, twisting them.
Again, Penny moaned.
Nadia’s tongue fed off Penny’s energy, moving deeper, granting longer and longer strokes. Each woman needed this, deep to her bones, but they had never had it before. Dolly never took initiative. Penny never surrendered to her lust. She was never out of control. Not like this. Penny pressed her legs together, wrapping them tight around Nadia’s head. One hand clutched the sheets, but the other was tangled in Nadia’s hair, pulling her deeper, closer, harder.
“More,” moaned Penny.
The vibrations ran over Nadia’s body from head to toe. She moaned as her tits tingled, as her stomach clenched, as her pussy thrummed to life. She didn’t try to fight it this time, losing all reason. She quickly licked her fingers and brought them back to Penny’s nipples, twisting and pulling at the same time. Her tongue moved deeper than she thought possible. She felt the strain on the frenulum. Her mouth was tearing itself apart, and both women couldn’t be happier.
“The clit,” whispered Penny as her body shook with pleasure. “Lick my clit.”
Nadia’s body seized up, the shiver of the command driving her body insane. She tried to pull away, to curl up as her body was possessed by Penny’s command, but Penny pulls her hair. Hard. Nadia’s head follows, the command driving her forward.
Nadia centers herself. The command provides pleasure, yes. But more importantly, the command provides focus. Nadia uses her fingers to spread the folds of Penny’s pussy. There is the clit. There is only the clit. Everything else fades away. She doesn’t go slowly. She doesn’t hesitate. Her tongue flicks the clit like a nipple. She imagines it as a blur, as though it would hum from the speed of it, as though her tongue was nothing more than a vibrator, as though *she* was nothing more than a vibrator.
Penny’s hand on the back of Nadia’s head shakes. Another hand joins it, both of them forcing Nadia’s head back and forth. Nadia licks faster. She obeys perfectly. The clit is her whole world. The command is her whole world. Penny’s words are her whole world. Penny is her whole world.
Penny’s back spasms and she arches to her full height, her legs straightening out. She presses Nadia’s face deep against her pussy as her hips shake, her thighs quiver. Her arms flail, clutch the bed, and then flail again. She hisses and moans, then shrieks. As she shrieks, she let’s go of Nadia, and the command recedes. Nadia pulls away slowly, admiring every tremor that runs through Penny’s body.
Penny falls still, but Nadia isn’t done. She still wants to do this freely, but Penny can’t control herself. Without warning, Nadia spreads Penny’s legs and rises up onto her knees. She slides two fingers into Penny’s pussy and starts to pump, curling her fingers and stroking the g-spot as she does.
Penny twitches at first, her whole body too sensitive for more play. She tries to speak, but Nadia falls forward, letting one hand cover the blonde’s mouth.
“Let me be me,” she whispers. “One time. I need this. I need to be sure.”
Penny’s eyes go wide, but then understanding washes over her. She nods, and Nadia picks up pace, her fingers making a satisfying sloshing as they thrust into Penny’s soaked pussy.
Penny arches her back, but Nadia keeps her hand over her mouth, just to be sure. Penny’s hands paw at Nadia’s breasts, and the redhead arches her back, giving Penny more access, and moans.
Nadia keeps thrusting, but then adds her thumb pressed against Penny’s clit. With each pump, her fingers curl, teasing the g-spot and clit simultaneously. Penny loses her mind. Thrashing, moaning into Nadia’s hand, teasing Nadia’s nipples, twisting them.
She finally jerks her head to the side and frees her mouth. Nadia braces herself for the next command, but instead, Penny sits up and licks Nadia’s tits. Nadia moans, arching forward, pumping faster. Her body shudders, the shaking uncontrollable. Jesus, is she going to cum just from this? Her body must be starved for attention or entranced with the power.
Penny bites down on Nadia’s nipple, and the world turns red. She stops pumping, her whole body overcome with pain and pleasure. She gasps, frozen, trying to gather herself. It spread from her nipple, shooting to fingertips and toes first, but then lingers in her thighs, in her belly, in her forearms. Her body was shutting down, perhaps waking up, like each nerve was peeling back raw and screaming for attention.
“You like that?” asked Penny.
Nadia bit her lip and nodded. “Mhmm.”
“Good girl,” said Penny.
Nadia recovered and went back to fucking Penny with her fingers. She found renewed vigor as her body buzzed with Penny’s touch. Penny continued, playfully nibbling, switching back and forth from each nipple, occasionally biting down hard. Each time she did, Nadia froze, stunned with bliss, but went back to fucking Penny with more energy.
Finally, the fervor surpassed the pleasure. Penny threw her head back, moaning, sweat dripping down her nose, as Nadia thrust. Her hips climbed into the air, but Nadia’s fingers followed. She didn’t stop pumping, didn’t dare. Penny lost her mind, throwing sheets and pillows, kicking, moaning out of control, like a monster in heat.
“Fuck,” hissed Penny.
“You like it?” asked Nadia. “Tell me you like it.”
“I love it. God, I love you. I fucking love you.”
Nadia smirked. Penny never spoke this way. She never lost this much control. It was incredible to see, and Nadia’s body responded to each wild thrash and jerk. She loved making Penny feel this good, this primal.
“Tell me you love me,” said Penny.
The room shook, but Nadia couldn’t tell if it was from them or the command. Her body went tight again, the words were already on her lips, but they died there. A new version of the words, one colder and drier, came out.
“I love you, Penny.”
Nadia hated herself as soon as said it, hated the way it sounded. That was Dolly talking, not Nadia. The tightness stayed in her. She wanted to apologize, to say it again, in the way it sounded in her mind. In her head, she was Scarlet O’Hara. She was Jerry McGuire. She was anything but this robot.
Penny’s eyes jerked open, then narrowed suspiciously. “Say it like you mean it.”
“I love you, Penny.”
That was better, it was closer to the integrated Nadia, but that wasn’t the way it sounded in her head. It wasn’t right. Why wouldn’t it come out right?
“You sound the same.” Penny sat up, pulling away from Nadia. “I can’t tell the difference. Say it again.”
“I love you, Penny.”
“Again.”
“I love you, Penny.”
“Say it like Dolly.”
“I love you, Penny.”
“Like Nadia.”
“I love you, Penny.”
Penny ran her hands through her hair, holding the sides of her head. “Which one is you? Which one is Dolly?”
“I’m me. This is me.”
“What does that mean?”
Nadia tried to explain. She stuttered and stalled. How could she explain that the third Nadia, the true Nadia, was almost never with Penny? Penny had a Dolly and a new Nadia. She made them both. The other Nadia was trapped. She couldn’t quote Scarlet. Penny taught her that. She couldn’t use the lines Penny gave her. Penny suspected everything Nadia gave her because it was everything she already commanded.
Nothing was a gift if you took everything you wanted.
“You sound like Dolly. You always sound like Dolly.”
The room shook. “I’m sorry, Penny.” Her voice was pathetic, childlike, weak. Empty. She felt herself slipping away, shrinking back into Dolly. Her personality shrunk, losing her sense of humor, her imagination, her curiosity. All that she was shrunk down into a body, into a thing that obeyed and was controlled.
“No. That’s wrong,” said Penny. “It’s all wrong. You’re always Dolly, just Dolly.”
Nadia vanished.
“Yes, Penny,” said Dolly. “Always Dolly.”
“It’s wrong,” said Penny. “All wrong.” She rolled away from Dolly and got up. “Go away,” she commanded. “Sleep on the couch.”
Dolly got up and obeyed, not minding the sobbing that came from the bed as she left.
***
Someone shook Nadia’s shoulder. She opened her eyes slowly, afraid to see Penny and another command, another trip into Dolly.
It was Jess.
Nadia’s eyes widened, and she sat up. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m getting you out. We need to go now.”
“Go where? Why?”
“I’m setting you free,” said Jess. “We have to go now. I’m only in control of myself when she’s asleep. Hurry. I grabbed some stuff for you.” Jess pulled on Nadia’s arm, but she tugged away, confused and defiant.
“My wedding is in a week,” said Nadia.
“Your what? You mean your kidnapping?”
“Jess, you’re my maid of honor. The bachelorette party is in a few days. We can’t leave now.”
“Are you insane? We need to go.” Jess looked back at the hallway leading to Penny’s room. “Now.”
“I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying here.”
Jess turned and grabbed Nadia’s forearm. “She’s dangerous.”
Nadia pulled her arm away again. “She’s mine.”
They both looked at each other for a long moment in the dark. Jess was always more intense than Nadia, more focused. She knew she wanted to be a nurse since she was seven. That’s exactly what she was until Penny derailed her life. Nadia knew that was wrong. She knew Jess should go back to her job and her life. Penny was out of control sometimes, but that’s why she needed Nadia. Nadia centered her, balanced her, helped her control herself.
Jess sighed and broke eye contact. “Shit,” she muttered. “You mean it, don’t you?”
“Absolutely.”
“You’re in love? With a psychopath?”
Nadia shrugged. “She’s my psychopath.”
“I don’t understand.”
Nadia spread her arms. “You said so yourself, her power doesn’t work at night. I’m saying this clearly and freely. I’m not Dolly. I’m not the version of Nadia she’s been creating. I’m me.”
“You’ve seen what she does.”
“I don’t think she’d stopped doing them if I was gone.” Nadia hesitated. “I think I could get her to stop or slow down. If I stayed.”
“You *think*?”
Nadia ran over the events of the past few hours. She couldn’t get Penny to make love without her powers. Could she change? Would she let Nadia be Nadia?
“I hope.”
“Fuck,” hissed Jess. “You’re trying to fix her?”
Nadia shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m hoping to help her fix herself. All I know is that I want her. She’s mine.” Nadia took a deep breath. “And all you need to know is that I do that willingly, freely. I’m happy.”
“You want me to stand at the end of the aisle and smile while you marry her?”
“If you trust me, yeah.”
Jess turned, looking back at Penny’s hallway, chewing her lip. Nadia knew how it sounded, but she’d had this conversation before. Joanna thought the same thing. They all did. Penny was too much, too dangerous. But not for Nadia. She didn’t know why, and she guessed it didn’t matter, but it wasn’t too much for Nadia. Sure, it wasn’t perfect. She hoped things would change, but she didn’t want to leave. The last thing Penny needed was another person leaving.
“I’m worried about you.”
“I know,” said Nadia. “And I’m flattered. Honored. I know this is you showing love.” Nadia thought of her conversation with Ginger. How did she explain to other people that this was consensual?
“You think you can change her?” asked Jess.
“I don’t know,” said Nadia. “But at the very least, I think I can help her. I just need her to wait before she uses her power. There needs to be just a moment of hesitation. She needs to see that I’d be with her willingly, even if she had no power over me, but whenever I try that, she uses her power before I get a word in. She charges in with her commands, and I don’t have time to show her that they’re unnecessary.”
“Especially before the wedding.”
“Yeah,” said Nadia. “Especially then.”
A strange idea came to Nadia. It was bizarre and possibly offensive, but the more she rolled it over in her mind, the more it seemed like a solution. Maybe not the only solution. It was drastic, that was for sure. But Penny had proven herself stubborn. It would take something drastic for her to truly believe it.
“I have an idea,” whispered Nadia. “But I’ll need your help.”
Jess looked back at the hallway leading to Penny, chewing her lip again. “Sure,” she said. “What do you need?”
“I need you to get me a doctor, fast. Penny will pay for it. Any expense.”
“Someone that will work at night, when she’s asleep?”
“No, we’ll do it at the bachelorette party. I know Penny won’t be there. You can help even if I’m Dolly. She’ll obey like a good girl.” Nadia grabbed Jess’ hand. “But all the planning needs to happen at night, when we’re ourselves.”
“Could be hard to find doctors that take calls in the middle of the night.”
“Sure,” said Nadia as she smiled, “but we do it right, soon we’ll be ourselves all the time.”
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Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/kvt8yy/the_rabbit_hole_part_17_ff_hypnosis_mind_control