I can’t stop thinking about her: My first attempt at an erotic story and I would love to hear your critique on my style.

This is the beginning of a story I want to write about a passionate affair between close friends that couldn’t control their urges.

I’ve never written anything like this before but I have this idea in my head and it just needs to come out. What do you think about the writing style and flow? Is there anything that I should work on? Any pointers would be greatly appreciated!

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It was a crisp fall day. The air was refreshing, but it had a bite to it. Samantha shivered drawing her robe tight as she stood in front of the open door at the back of her house. Closing it behind her and walking into the bedroom, she decided she would need to dress warm for the trip into the city today. Standing there for a moment lost in thought, she contemplated the list. Pick up a backpack for her daughter, fill up the truck with gas and make a stop at Costco. Oh, and she remembered she was also supposed to meet with her friend for coffee.

She knew that he was very attracted to her and probably wanted to be more than just friends, but with them both being married, it was just never meant to be. She also knew damn well that it was up to her to keep them honest. She stood in front of her closet contemplating what to wear. Probably a cosy sweater and jeans. As her hand reached out for her favourite sweater, it brushed by and paused on her new dress. She had just bought it and hadn’t had an excuse to go out and wear it yet. She pulled it out of the closet and smiled to herself. How silly it would be to wear such a gorgeous dress just to pick up groceries. She remembered long ago he had mentioned his weakness for short black dresses. No, she shouldn’t encourage him. She put the dress back. Laying the sweater and jeans on the bed, she let her robe drop to the floor. She imagined how he would react if he saw her in that dress and a tingle went down her spine. There had always been harmless flirting over text but she hadn’t seen him in years. The thought of seeing him today brought this sense of reality to it. She wasn’t sure how she felt about him, but the thought of turning him on definitely sent a shiver through her body. Her hands caressed her bare breasts and she gave them a squeeze. God, if only her husband could make her feel as wanted. Feeling instantly guilty, her hands dropped to her side. Her phone that was sitting on the bed buzzed. She grabbed it and read the text message, happy for the distraction from her thoughts. A sly grin spread accross her face as she contemplated the text. She suddenly threw her phone down on the bed and grabbed the dress.

What the hell am I going to wear? He was stressing out. He was going to be seeing her today and wanted to make a good impression. Something he hasn’t had the urge to do in a long time. Why am I so invested in this? It’s just coffee. Deep down, somewhere in the pit of his stomach he knew what he wanted. It wasn’t coffee. Looking over his drab wardrobe, he decided that if he can’t look his best, he’d better at least feel comfortable. He reached for own his personal suit of armor. The one thing that made him feel like he could be himself. He placed his favorite hoodie on the bed and hopped in the shower.

The hot water felt so good on his back. It was cold in the house upstairs and sometimes he loved to just stand there, soaking in the warmth, imagining he was in Mexico on the beach. Mmmm sipping on a mojito listening to the waves crashing on the shore. I wonder if Samantha has been to Mexico he mused, letting his mind drift. He imagined her laying beside him wearing a skimpy bathing suit, exposing all of her bad-ass tatoos. God she’s hot, he thought to himself. In his fantasy she turned onto her side to face him and gave him a coy wink. On her side, her breasts pushed together and accentuated her cleavage. He was immediately arroused. He imagined that he should be able to see her piercings outlined under the thin fabric of her bikini. What would it be like to bite her nipples. Would it hurt her if he pulled on the studs with his lips? His arrousal had turned into a full hard-on as he stood there in the shower, thinking about her naked body. His hand naturally went down to his hard dick as he imagined more and more.

Out of the shower, drying himself off with a towel, she was still stuck in his mind. What am I doing torturing myself like this!? I know I can’t have her, he thought. Why can’t I stop fantasizing about her? He knew the answer. He loved it. She made his heart beat fast, like when he was a love sick kid. Even knowing that he will never get to have her, it couldn’t stop him craving her. She was his addiction.

Pulling up to the coffee shop, he parked his truck. Inside, he looked around but couldn’t see her. He ordered a medium roast coffee, poured some milk into it and sat down at a table. He sipped his coffee thinking about how only moments ago he had cum while thinking about wildly fucking Samantha on the beach. Sigh. Snap out of it! He reminded himself that above all else, he wanted to be a friend to her and that he needed to shove these feelings deep down and away.

A bell rang as the coffee shop door opened. Standing there was Samantha, the most beautiful girl he ever saw. His heart started racing again and time seemed to slow down as he took her in. She was wearing a long black coat and leather boots. Her dark hair framed her pretty face, her eyelashes done in that way that she does that I’ve always melted for. Her perfect lips, colored in red with a most adorable pouty expression. When her eyes finally locked to his, she smiled widely and dashed towards him to and embraced him in a close hug.

To be continued…

Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/kb3yh8/i_cant_stop_thinking_about_her_my_first_attempt