[FMM] Sex for drugs on vacation

11 months ago my husband and I vacationed from Boston to Jamaica in the Caribbean. It was a New Years vacation package tour. We are Caucasians. We did two things we never did before. We had sex with each other publicly, on an adult beach. We also had some group swap encounters with couples of another race. I responded to **all** of this with unusual (for me) enthusiasm. I thought we were OK with it all. On the way home husband said repeatedly that “it was worth every penny” and that “we’ll do another island next year”.

I do not think he planned what happened. We were guests at an adult resort that allowed locals with paid “memberships” to come on the property to use the restaurants, pools. Our first night drinking and dancing (and drinking; where has rum been all my life?) we met a local couple in the nightclub on the resort. They came back to our room to share their drugs with us. We ended up swapping spouses in our room.

They invited us the next night to a local club, and introduced us to a single guy who was their supplier. We went home with the three of them. I was so aroused knowing I was having sex with a drug dealer so they could get a better price on their resupply. (At least that’s the story they told me, which made me insanely hot. Little shy me, sexing a criminal for drugs? Maybe they made the story up to fire up the white wife tourist….)

The third night our friends gave us dinner at their home with another couple with whom they do this often. The last night we were on the island we were invited to a big party with maybe 9 or 10 other couples, most of whom I had nothing to do with.

But since we are home, feeling cooped up and restless, my husband now grumbles that I have a race fetish and is keeping me at an emotional distance. He sometimes remarks, when we have sex, that he or I need to find a person of color to “satisfy” me. I feel no race fetish and say so but it falls on deaf ears. He started playing interracial porn videos on the TV in the living room. For himself, but I have to walk back and forth through the room to do anything much at all.

I feel bad for him that he hurts, and that he thinks he is now my second choice in a man. But I am becoming angry and resentful that to explain myself I have to talk about a person’s skin color and penis length. Every time I argue back and need to say something about “black men” this, or “white men” that, I feel like I am being racist. Our sex is OK and this does not come up every time we are intimate. But it is not as great as it was before this all happened.

I don’t even want another vacation in 2021 if it is going to be all about getting me serviced by some racist fantasy fetish man. I have tried explaining myself to my husband. But I think he kind of enjoys playing in his mind with the notion that I am now, somehow, hard to sexually satisfy.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/k8530r/fmm_sex_for_drugs_on_vacation