In my imagination, I had pictured him towering over me, larger than life and unquestionably dominant; in truth, he was only slightly taller than I was and only marginally more broad across the shoulder. In fact, I was incredulous at how normal he was, so friendly and welcoming as he answered the door. A stark contrast to the hypersexual, pseudo-domineering persona he’d put across online. In my secret sexual fantasies, I had played this encounter out repeatedly, never considering what the initial “hello, I’m here” scenario would look like, but I guess after all, we were just two ordinary men meeting in the hope of having fun.
For all my choosiness on Grindr, my push to keep this excursion anonymous and the countless lies I’d sold myself about how this would be a onetime deal; I found myself feeling unusually self-conscious in his company. He was more handsome in real life than I had anticipated and I felt keen for him to like me back. Odd feeling for a straight guy to have, I reflected, especially since I didn’t even know his name. He invited me in with a smile and I awkwardly started taking my trainers off at the door, thumbling for words just as much as for my shoelaces, wondering what the right small talk is for an occasion like this and trying not to fall over.
“Did you find me okay?” He said smiling confidently, watching me struggle.
“mmhmm, fine.” I muttered. God why was I being so awkward, what a mess. This is not like me at all, I’m usually so confident and in control when it came to women. Why was I a nervous wreck with a guy? Feigning a moment of bravery, I tried to act nonchalant and asked, “Okay so where are we doing this?” Smiling, he turned and told me to come upstairs with him to his bedroom. Following up the dimly lit corridor, I started feeling ominous, heady, almost otherworldly and light on my feet. It reminded me of the times I’d had to stand up in front of a huge audience and walk across the stage. All the while, I felt my eyes scanning his frame; looking at his ass, sizing up his physique under his shirt. I had never looked at a male this way before, at least not in person, I found myself searching for something that turned me on about his body. Was this a dream? *Am I really going to let another man fuck me?*
The awkwardness persisted when we reached his room, the curtains were already drawn and he had clearly made some effort to straighten the place up and light it romantically. This put me at ease, but only slightly. I felt the need to do something to change gears and get away from the falsely platonic ‘this is just another guy I’ve met’ dynamic, we were allowing to persist, and into the more purposeful ‘we’re here to have sex’ reality we had both promised beforehand.
I cleared my throat and tried to look coy and mischievous; I reached out and hooked my fingertips into the waistband of his jeans to pull him squarely towards me, in a clear sign that I wanted something to happen between us now. Strangely, despite all the filthy, outrageous things we had promised to do to each other not 30 minutes earlier by text, I was so nervous that he would rebuff my advance and chase me out his house.
How naïve…
Reading my signal, he immediately leaned forwards in to me, grabbing my face from under the chin and pushing me against the wall; I froze in fear. I could feel my lips scrunched up and parted by the firm grip of his fingers. Inside, I fought his dominance with one breath and wilted into submission with the next. Letting another man do this to me felt both intimidating and arousing at the same time, my mind was foggy from the confusion and overwhelming surge in hormones. All I could focus on was the smell of his aftershave and the sensation of blood rushing to my cock as it swelled to fill my jeans.
Slowly he brought his lips up to mine, I felt drunk from the sensation of his body heat washing over my mouth as he exhaled. I tried to keep eye contact as best I could with his gaze fixed and staring intently into me. But his confidence was unshakeable and here I was falling to pieces, I could feel my cheeks flushing red, my heartbeat thundering in my ears. Kissing another man was never something I had fixated over in my fantasies, I wasn’t against it but equally it was far from the main driver behind the desires that had led me to this moment. Yet, when he kissed me in that room, an involuntary groan of relief poured out of me and I felt myself kissing him back with encouragement, beckoning him as passionately as I could to place his tongue into my mouth. I was savouring the sweetness of his saliva, the erotic roughness of his stubble around my mouth and the innate closeness of what was happening. In that moment, I wanted him to consume me completely, I knew I was going to surrender entirely and give this man whatever he wanted to take from me. Spurred on by the validation he had given me I yearned for more. I felt compelled, as if on autopilot, to plant my hands on the sides of his torso, he was so firm and toned. I needed more. Quickly readjusting, I slid my hands under his shirt to feel his naked body. He took this as an opportunity to pull his shirt off over his head. Oh my god. He looked even better than I’d judged in our walk up the stairs, muscular and toned with neatly manicured chest hair spreading out across his tanned musculature. I glanced down from our kiss to lean in and kiss his pecs, his smell and body heat sent me wild, I even felt brazen enough to bite his nipple playfully as I kissed my way across his chest.
“This isn’t fair,” he barked, taking me by complete surprise. “Strip.”
Nervously, I undressed in front of him feeling more exposed with each item of clothing I removed until I was completely naked. He watched me the entire time while rubbing his crotch through his jeans with an arrogant look of dominance on his face. When I was done, he grabbed me by a tuft of hair on the back of my head and forced me back into kissing his body; I gladly obliged him but was feeling increasingly at the mercy of this complete stranger. *This was getting dangerous.*
We could both sense the inevitable conclusion of my attention; I kept kissing further down his body, across his bas and towards his naval. As if pre-emptively; or perhaps even impatiently as a command, he unbuttoned the fly of his jeans and part way slipped them down over his hips. I could see his large cock clearly erect inside his briefs. It made me feel dizzy to look at it, so many hours spent dreaming of what it must be like to suck cock and it was now literally staring me in the face. Too late to turn back now, too many promises made my mouth now had to keep. *How could I back out now even if I wanted to?*
I dutifully dropped to my knees and slipped the waistband over the bulge exposing his thick, seven-inch cock in all its uncut glory. I glanced up at him submissively, reaching out and grasping it at the base with my hand. Even just holding his cock sent a thrill throughout my entire body. I must have looked too hesitant; he sensed it and didn’t allow me to lose momentum.
“Good, now open your mouth and be a good boy”
In a sign of what was to come, I again complied without thinking and opened my mouth to let my tongue fall out expectantly. What if my friends could see me now, kneeling down naked on the bedroom floor of a strange older man, eagerly waiting for him to let me give him a blowjob. I pushed feelings of embarrassment and shame to the back of my mind and instead focussed on the following through with the experience. I desperately didn’t want him to realise I was an amateur and be disappointed, and equally, I really wanted to be as good at this as the guys I’d watched online. It was something that I had fixated over for as long as I could remember. It was then, whilst cupping the side of my head with one hand, he slid his dick into my mouth for the first time and I saw a feeling of sexual relief wash over his face, punctuated with a grunt. No going back now.
I had licked pussy thousands of times before, I was completely familiar with the tastes and sensations; and above all, I knew the secret to giving good head was the enthusiastic devotion to giving pleasure to your partner, even if it meant slight discomfort and some unusual facial expressions. However, nothing could have prepared me for sucking dick. It felt so much more overwhelming than pussy, I fought a slight gag reflex when his fat head pushed repeatedly against the back of my throat, and his girth was stretching my jaw wide enough to cause me to drool on it. Licking pussy feels almost at your leisure, sucking a dominant guys dick is so much more invasive and a commitment that is hard to back away from once you start.
The initial sharp, tangy alkaline flavour of a man’s cock did quickly give way to a pleasant salty-sweet mix of spit and precum; I was in heaven. Trying in vain to emulate the pornography I had obsessed over in recent years, I wanted to look up at my handsome stranger to make eye contact but managed to do so only fleetingly; I was too lost in my own pleasurable world of self-satisfaction. Here I was fulfilling one of my long held fantasies, savouring the indescribable texture of his gorgeous cock sliding over my lips, reacting instinctively to the physical cues he made to express his gratitude; I chased ever more validation for my subservience to his dick. I craved his gasps, I was addicted to the soft moans he breathed every so often to give me encouragement. I was quickly getting used to having his massive dick trying to force its way deep into my throat. In fact, I fucking loved it.
Fuck.
I could feel sticky ropes of precum hanging from the end of my shaft as I sucked on his with ever-faster movements of my head, had I touched myself in this moment I would have climaxed instantly, but paradoxically, that was the last thing I wanted to happen. I needed to ride this wave of ecstasy for as long as I could hold on, I needed to explore more deeply this intoxicating new feeling.
I have no idea how long I knelt there. I was transfixed by my new taboo, but around the time, I could feel the slick beads of sweat that had formed on his lower back drip down on to his buttocks; he pulled away and lifted me to my feet with a soft but commanding lift of my chin with his fingertips.
Half reluctantly, I obeyed, already wondering when my next chance to taste his sweet juices would come. He pushed me towards the bed. My mind raced with the possibilities behind his intentions, but “how do you want me?” I stuttered, nonetheless.
“On the bed, on your hands and knees”
I’d never taken real dick before, obviously. Fastidious Googling had lead me to curiously shave around my hole and douche in the shower several times previously when playing around. Even, embarrassingly, progressing from fingering to using a condom sheathed zucchini on more than one occasion. I was prepared, and expecting, this encounter to lead to me getting fucked but being exposed like this made me insecure and even more keen for his validation.
Anxiously I climbed on to the bed, before crawling up towards the headboard and trying to adopt a sexy, confident posture. I glanced back to see him following, staring at my exposed ass with a goofy boyish grin on his face.
How did I get here?
I tried to take a deep breath and keep calm but inside I was panicking, I thought about blurting out that this was my first time and I was nervous but before I had time to process my feelings, he had spread my ass cheeks and was enthusiastically licking my hole. What the fuck. It felt incredible, better than I’d ever imagined but I still felt so fucking vulnerable. “I’m just a straight guy pushing some boundaries” I lied to myself again, over and over. The thought of this man’s hot wet tongue lubricating my ass, juxtaposed by his gruff manly stubble chafing against my freshly shaved skin gave me intense butterflies in my stomach. Christ, what if I’m actually gay.
I could tell he was trying hard to force it inside me, I moaned like the bottoms I envied on Pornhub but this time it was for real. He kept inching his fingertips closer to my hole whilst kissing it and applying pressure, I wondered if he was thinking about penetrating me but was unsure if I wanted it.
“I’m really clean, put your finger in” I mumbled eventually. Whose words were these coming out of my mouth?
He didn’t acknowledge my permission verbally, but slid his finger part way inside me. I expressed my approval with a gasp. He kept it there, gently applying more pressure and movement, occasionally kissing my ass affectionately. I heard the click of a bottle and looked back just in time to see him squeeze lube out on to his fingers as he slid another one inside me. Thanks to the preparation I’d done prior, I took them easily and didn’t give myself away as a bottom virgin just yet.
“I really want to fuck your ass, it’s amazing,” he ventured, clearly telegraphing what he expected of me.
“Isn’t that what I’m here for?”
He stood up, swaggered over to the nightstand, and grabbed a condom out the top draw. I shuffled over and took the chance to suck on his cock some more whilst he tore open the wrapper and orientated it. He paused for a few minutes to let me take in more deliciously thick precum straight from the tip of his cock, then continued putting it on and followed up with a generous amount of lube.
This is it.
He directed me to lie face down on the bed with my legs slightly apart, mounting me with the rehearsed confidence of someone who knows exactly what they’re doing, positioning the tip of his cock gently against my asshole. He let me feel the weight of his torso on my back and started kissing the back of my neck, nibbling my ear and whispering into it, “You’re going to let me fuck this delicious arse now” and, “You’re so fit, I can’t wait to watch you eat my load.” I had chills down my spine every time he playfully bit my neck, I could feel his hips thrusting more and more impatiently forwards, opening me up a little bit at a time with the tip of his dick. I couldn’t wait, arching my back and pressing into him eagerly. “Fuck me, please.” I whispered back, embracing the cliché.
I was tight, but he didn’t let this slow the flow of the mood, he reached down and grabbed his cock to guide it, which was thankfully still very lubricated, sliding it into me half an inch at a time with slow purposefully rhythmic thrusts of his pelvis, until he was full inside me. My breathing was heavy and I hid the mild discomfort I felt by groaning into the duvet. I’ve got another mans penis inside me! The rush of adrenaline this realisation released was euphoric.
There wasn’t any pain as he started to slowly fuck me, in fact it felt hotter than anything I’d simulated at home in my bedroom with objects. The heavy panting and breathing in my ear as this guy picked up the pace and really started fucking me had my cock rock hard against the mattress. Fuck, I’m definitely not straight I thought to myself as he held one hand on my hip and slipped the other up the front of my body, clasping it around my neck. He embraced me this way, tightly, and pushed the side of his face against mine from behind. I could taste the saltiness of his sweat every time he kissed me like this and I craved it again each time he stopped.
I never wanted this feeling of prone submission to end, so overwhelming was the unrelenting sensation of his dominant strokes deep inside of me. My mind swirled with thoughts of passiveness, pleasure and above all of servitude to this bigger, stronger man.
He slowed his pace to catch his breath and prolong the encounter; I could tell he had been close to climax in the moments before by his erratic, fast thrusting followed by brief pauses. As if synchronised, we both began changing position in unison. He pulled his cock out of me and knelt as I flipped over and pulled my knees towards my chest, presenting my ass to him once again. This time our eye contact was unwavering. He leant in and kissed me, scooping his arms under my knees as he propped himself up on the bed. I was pinned. His dick slipped back inside of me with embarrassing ease. I felt helpless beneath him, exposed. Gay sex with my face hidden in a duvet was enough to deal with, but now I had to do it face to face with a stranger with everything on full display.
The only way I could conceal my anxiety was to pull him closer, running my hand up his back and into wet hairline, pulling him in for a passionate kiss. To keep him fixed this way I grabbed his butt and dug my nails in slightly as I pulled him into me. I used our closeness as an opportunity to whisper into his ear, “I really want you to cum on my face.” He sped up when I said this and told me he was close, and asked if I wanted it right now.
I did.
He pulled out and stood at the foot of the bed, taking the condom off and stroking his cock to keep himself on the edge. I eagerly shuffled over and took charge, kneeling beneath him, tasting the lingering latex on my tongue as I begin finishing him with my mouth. I allowed myself a few slow self-indulgent moments of enjoyment, focussing on how exhilarating it felt having his cock in my mouth again, knowing where it had been and what was about to happen next. I started using my hand in combination, making big sweeping strokes up and down his shaft as I created the perfect amount of suction on it with my mouth, purposefully allowing as much saliva as I could produce to lubricate his cock. It didn’t take long, expedited by my moans of enjoyment and regular eye contact I heard his breath quicken and felt his body weight shifting backward slightly on his heels. “I’m cumming,” he announced as he simultaneously began ejaculating into my mouth. I had been slowly stroking my own cock during the build-up, almost involuntarily, but let go briefly to squeeze his ass with both hands as I plunged his pulsing cock right to the back of my throat. The reality of eating cum was overpowering and I fought the immediate gag it produced, I quickly swallowed as much of his spunk as I could but he had produced so much it felt like my sinuses were flooded with it. Gently sucking his still twitching and now overly sensitive dick, I obediently cleaned him with my tongue and consumed everything, masturbating the entire time.
“Can I keep your cock in my mouth while I cum,” I asked hopefully.
He nodded, exhaling deeply in a way that conveyed his deep satisfaction, then lay back on the bed relaxed. I stayed in position, stroking my dick and rubbing my face against his still semi-erect cock, revelling in the musky smell of sweat and sex, his load still coating my mouth and fresh inside me. I took him between my lips again, his hand stroking my hair sweetly while I brought myself to climax. I came hard, jerking my body forwards with every squirt that I shot onto his floor. We enjoyed a comfortable moment of silence before standing up and slowly getting dressed. My awkwardness started returning, my post-orgasmic clarity signalled the beginning of a sense of shame and embarrassment at what I had just done.
I made my excuses, half-baked lies about meeting friends and being late and headed for the door. He followed to let me out, once I’d jammed my feet back into my trainers, I turned to say goodbye, he leaned in and kissed me, just a peck but it felt awkward. I reciprocated but turned and left unceremoniously.
Once in my car, I deleted Grindr without opening it; knowing full well I would download it again later that day yearning to come back to see my new friend again.
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/jsxzm8/after_recently_coming_out_as_bisexual_to_my
One day your wifes son will look back in shame on this
Oof! Hard relate!