Edited for quality and repetitiveness.
My fiance and I broke up about 2 years ago, and although I’m much happier now that we’re split I think constantly about our sex life. In that respect, we were basically a perfect match.
A large component of our relationship was her love of my writing and her wild imagination. It was never a surprise to me how much I ended up enjoying reading similar stories online after she and I broke up, it’s very reminiscent of the dynamic we shared. Maybe I can get some catharsis or just some base enjoyment talking about it now.
I’ll do my best to make sure that everything I choose to write is as accurate and as close to the real events as possible. I fully admit that I’m going to gloss over some of the more mundane details and nuances of our relationship. I’m not looking to dissect our dysfunctions. I just want to reminisce about the years we shared.
To most people we were this very innocent, very polite, picturesque white picket fence couple. Nobody really had a clue what we were really like behind closed doors. Certainly none of our family members had any idea that we were even living together.
When we first started dating and could not keep our hands off each other, we were in bed fooling around and I told her that people misunderstand the phrase “fuck like rabbits.” Obviously rabbits reproduce very quickly and numerously but people don’t fluently understand why.
Besides their impressive speed above ground and their burrows, rabbits don’t really have that many survival tools.
More or less they are at the mercy of every other living thing. The main way that they can ensure that their species survives is to reproduce as much and as often as possible. So what people really mean when they say “let’s fuck like rabbits,” is they mean “let’s fuck like we’re dying.”
That pretty much described us for their length of our relationship. In keeping with the rabbit theme I’m going to refer to her as Bunny from here on out, for the previously mentioned reasons but also because one of my all time favorite turn ons is the Playboy Bunny outfit, which I never got to see her wear (but not because she was unwilling, we just broke up before she had a chance).
So a little bit of background information. There was a 5-year age difference between us and I met her when she was 20. We were in bed together about a week later. The age gap was a huge turn on for us both even though she admitted to being weirded out by it for a while (I definitely was too initially but I wanted to fuck this girl from the first moment I laid eyes on her).
We completely lied to her parents about the age gap when I first met them. I never actually told them how old I was and I don’t think she did either for the 5 years we were together.
She was actually somewhat tall, around 5′ 8″ or so, had beautiful pale skin and natural blonde hair, crystalline blue eyes. Just immediately stunning when she walked into a room. When I met her she was a 34 c, but by the time we broke up she had actually grown to D (she would get mad at me for smiling when she complained about it.)
But honestly the most amazing thing about Bunny’s body was her perfect hourglass waist, hips, thighs and glorious, luscious ass. I had no idea a white girl could have an ass like that before I met Bunny. Just, incredible. When we met was the first time the yoga pants trend really caught on with girls everywhere, and thank God for that.
After I stopped staring at her eyes and took in the rest of her, I immediately started fantasizing about putting her over my lap and spanking Bunny’s round, inviting ass.
Sorry I got lost there for a second. so what you really need to know is the following:
I was a complete deviant in my head but very shy outwardly. Bunny drew the pervert out of me. She wanted to constantly have phone sex when we were apart and after she learned I was a writer in my spare time she loved having me text her role-playing scenarios. These could go on for pages and pages of text messages. She always wanted it dirtier and more aggressive. I was sometimes panicking trying to keep up and not let down her expectations. I managed it, but I definitely made her say “I’m waiting” too many times to count. I think it’s fair to use the word insatiable when describing her.
We did this constantly when circumstances required us to have a distance relationship. Then when we moved in together she wanted me to write her erotic fiction and suggest some well written erotic romance to her (I got her Kushiel’s Dart for her birthday). She was constantly thinking about sex, and I was very happy with this beyond the obvious reasons.
The truth is I had an illuminated respect for her. I never saw her behavior as anything to be ashamed of. I saw her as a liberated and confident woman who was proud of her identity and wasn’t afraid to get what she wanted. Her attitude and her candidness has forever changed how I see women as autonomous and sovereign adults who can want similar if not exactly the same things as most men. Even if it’s to be tied up and mercilessly fucked while being called a worthless cum slut.
Uh, sorry let me get back on track.
Bottom line is Bunny was very assertive. I was rarely the initiator for sex. When we were talking about living together the conversation went something almost exactly like this (seriously):
“I can’t wait to see you my love, I’ve missed holding you at night.”
“and the fucking”
“… yeah that too. I can’t wait to makeup for lost time. It’s just not the same. I’ve missed having you here.”
“and fucking.”
“… right and that. I also just miss being able to talk to you Non-Stop all day.”
“and fucking.”
“I mean yeah of course but aren’t there other things you miss?”
“yeah, fucking.”
She was hilarious. Bunny was one of the funniest people I’ve ever met. The people who knew her would say she was abrasive and could be off-putting in a group, but when it was just her and I she could make me laugh effortlessly. Oh and she really loved fucking. Did I mention that?
On my side of things I introduced her to bondage, which she took to very naturally. However more than that I’m proud of being the first person to do multiple intimate and tender things that she had never even considered being attractive. I was the first person to ever kiss the back of her neck behind her hair, which became her favorite spot. I was the first to make her cum just from fingers. I was the first to treat her clit appropriately and I loved going down on her for sometimes 45 minutes at a time or more (it started to hurt my jaw but I loved it so much I never mentioned it). I was the first to suggest taking a romantic bath, with candles and music. She was skeptical at first but ended up loving it. I was the first to bring her wine and cheese and finger food for an at home date. I hoarded these firsts greedily, and I saw it regularly to inundate her with little luxuries and intimacies like these, spoiling her rotten with love notes hidden in her bag, making her breakfast every morning, anything I could do to keep her smitten and enamored.
There were plenty of bad things, messed up and toxic things we did to each other, but that’s not the point right now. She and I will probably never agree on whose fault the breakup was. I think she’d agree it was good while it lasted.
We had a lot of good times and did a lot of crazy things, maybe not as crazy as a lot of stories I read online but I have no complaints whatsoever. Besides the crazy stuff my favorite things that we did together was a sort of “routine” that we developed over time as we learned each other’s preferences, moods, and bodies.
A typical evening when we lived together would go something like this. We’d get home after work/school depending on what year in our relationship we were in. I’d probably be the one to cook dinner unless we picked something up. She would typically smoke a bowl or if it was the weekend maybe have some wine. I didn’t drink or do drugs but didn’t mind her doing it. I was usually the one to get her weed because she was funnily innocent in that way and didn’t know anybody to get it from.
Like I mentioned before I don’t really initiate sex but I was especially wary because she got very horny when inebriated or high and I never wanted to make her feel like I abused that opportunity, but damn, she made it hard- err- difficult.
So after dinner we’d be on the couch watching netflix, usually the great British baking show or one of a dozen other usual shows that she liked. She was really into cop dramas. I basically never got to choose the show (I swear I’m not still bitter about it).
Inevitably her head would be in my lap, and in her not so sober state of mind she would constantly be talking dirty. No I’m not saying she had to be high or drunk to be flirty or mischievously sexy. No sir she needed no help with any of that. But it definitely accelerated her behavior.
I learned not to read too much into it when she would act this way, because a lot of times it never went anywhere. She’d have her fun and I would feel sexy for being wanted, and she’d promptly pass out. And that would be that.
But roughly two out of every five times in this routine, she would not fall asleep. And she’d make it clear she wasn’t going to fall asleep. She would ramp up the dirty talk. She would lift her head up from my lap to whisper in my ear, while nibbling or licking it “I bet you want to fuck me.”
She’d repeat that throughout the night. One of my favorites was when she grabbed my cock and said “I need something to suck on and I’m all out of lollipops.” That particular time she had had about four lollipops. I can’t even take credit for that line, it was a Bunny original.
On the nights when she was persistent I would wait until it was clear she was not falling asleep. When her teasing grew to the point I couldn’t focus on the show at all I’d do something such as gently grab her by her hair, pull her head back, look her in the eyes, and ask her something to the effect of “do you need me to take you into the bedroom and fuck you so that you’ll shut up?”
Something like that.
Bunny would give me the go-ahead at that point, moaning unintelligably, grabbing my wrist and bringing it to her tits or her waist. Sometimes we would rush to the bedroom. Sometimes we would make out on the couch really sloppily for a bit first. One notable time I started fingering her on the couch and refused to take my fingers out, so we stumbled awkwardly to the bedroom with me still inside of her.
One way or the other we would end in the bed, making out until I lost patience and threw her shirt off and kissed my way all the way around her neck, collarbone, and shoulders to her breasts and tummy. I could spend forever worshiping every inch of her precious, delicate body.
The thing about Bunny, it might sound like a cliche especially after what I’ve already told you about her being somewhat aggressive, but she kind of hated foreplay.
I loved it, I loved building tension, I loved savoring her body. I think she grew to appreciate it a bit more as we got to know each other but usually she’d say “just eat me out already” or “stop wasting time and fuck me.”
Well used to her attitude by then and not put off, I would dive eagerly face first into her pussy. I was always a little disappointed that I didn’t get to pay more attention to her sexy stomach or her tits. Later in our relationship she eventually really liked me sucking on her nipples, but she didn’t have much patience for me dancing around the main course.
So as fun as all of this sounds, the party never really started untll I started going down on her. It was and still is one of my favorite things to do. I’m proud of a few skills I possess, but eating pussy is definitely one of the things I’m most proud of. I’ve rarely felt more satisfaction than listening to her gasping, moaning, and barely able to breathe exclaim “how did you get better. I can’t believe you got even better.”
All credit to Bunny though. Every time we would go through this routine she would turn the filthy dirty talk up to 13. When I was luxuriously and slowly licking up and down her sexy slit and playing with the pressure and drawing circles around her clit, she would be spinning the most lurid tales I’d ever heard.
As much as she loved phone sex, texting and erotic fiction, she had a real talent. As much porn as I have watched and sex stories as I have read, I have never and will never hear filthier things than what I heard from this girl’s mouth while I was tonguing her pussy.
She would go on at length about all of her fantasies. She would vividly describe me using her as an object. She would describe scenario after scenario of me viciously taking her. In these fantasies she would be innocent and sweet and I would be borderline violent and demanding. It would always be much less consensual and much less romantic in her descriptions than anything we did in our normal relationship.
In Bunny’s stories she would be a high school student and I would be a professor. I would fuck her bent over my desk, then force her under the desk to suck me off while I graded papers, then force her to sit on my cock while I leaned back in my chair. Next she would be a maid and I would be her master, spilling wine on the floor and forcing her to get on her hands and knees to clean it, fucking her from behind while she did so, and then chastising and humiliating her for the mess she made of her own pussy juices, demanding that she clean that up too, and then fucking her again in the same position while she did so.
She’d describe wanting to be tied to the bed, legs spread, blindfolded, unable to move, left there for me to fuck whenever I was bored and there was nothing on television. She would describe me filling her with cum, leaving, coming back half an hour later to chastise her for letting my precious cum leak out of her pussy, and she’d describe how I would have no choice but to fuck her all over again to replenish my seed, because of course it would be ridiculous for her pussy *not* to be filled to the brim.
I honestly could keep going but I think you get the idea. I was in heaven, listening to the most erotic stories I’ve ever heard in my life, while tongue deep in her sweet, delicious pussy. Before I was a veteran of this process I would desperately try to add in suggestions and narrative in between licks. I eventually learned it was better to focus on the task at hand and just let her run wild with her imagination.
I would bite her thighs, squeeze her hips and waist, pinch her nipples, do everything I could to intensify her sensations. It was quite the challenge to avoid getting distracted while listening to her tell these completely scandalizing stories where she described herself being used as a complete sex object, used for nothing else other than my pleasure, with no purpose except to receive my cum.
It almost feels anticlimactic at this point to say that after a good while of making her cum over and over from eating her out, sometimes edging her over and over again to make it more extreme, one or both of us would get tired, and we’d decide to fuck hard and fast to finish up.
Her absolute favorite thing was to get fucked from behind. I preferred to fuck missionary style so that we could look each other in the eyes. But regardless at that point I just would lose all self-control and plunge my, by that point, granite rock hard cock into her sopping wet pussy.
I’m not massive or anything. A pretty average 6 inches. But I’m proud of my thick girth. I would tease and belittle her, telling her she needed to be a good girl and take my thick cock, that I would be very disappointed in her if her tight pussy couldn’t take all of it. I would tell her over and over, chiding her and teasing her, that I wasn’t sure it was going to fit, while she pleaded with me to put it in
I would make her beg for it, make her say that she was nothing but a fuck slut, that she only existed to be my cum dumpster. She ate it all up and would say anything I told her to, honestly it was beautiful to listen to.
I would ask her who her pussy belongs to, who her body belongs to, who she belongs to. I would ask her what her purpose was. I never knew exactly what she was going to say, but it was so gratifying when she would play right along and say, “to be your fuck slut and take your cum.”
She really enjoyed me cumming on her or inside her. It scared me when I first met her because it was completely outside of my experience but it’s an utter favorite of mine now.
Her ass was so plump and juicy that I basically sat on top of it while ramming in and out of her. I would grip her slim perfect little waist harder and harder at her demands, while fucking her as hard as I possibly could. She said it all the time, “harder, harder.” To fuck her harder and to grab and squeeze her harder, it was never hard enough. I’d love it when she would show me the bruises on her waist the next day with her sexy, sly little knowing smile.
Inevitably she’d cum over and over, and I’d been getting a surge of endorphins from the first minute she started teasing me on the couch. I never told her this but I was jerking off to the thought of her constantly. Almost everyday usually twice a day. Which probably ruined some of my sensitivity which is why I took a long time to cum. It was so hard not to, trust me
Then she’d start to beg me to cum inside of her, or depending on her mood on her back, or on her tits.
Briefly, can I just say once more how awesome Bunny was.
Admittedly we were actually both a little psycho when it came to the other person orgasming. If I didn’t make her cum multiple times I’d be pretty furious. I was rather obsessive about making sure she reached climax every time we touched each other. She would feel… very strongly if I didn’t cum. She would be properly, legitimately angry for a long time afterwards. I might get the silent treatment for an entire day if I didn’t cum.
I would finish, if I was lucky inside of her, and then I would make her tell me how much she liked it, make her explain to me how good it felt and why, I’d force her to give details on what her orgasms would feel like and how many she’d had. Then we would cling to each other tightly as we fell asleep, usually with me spooning her from behind, generally grinding into her ass with my cock which occasionally led to us doing more. Sometimes one or both of us would wake up during the night and start touching the other and we’d do some variation of this routine over again.
But most of the time we just passed the fuck out and slept like rocks until morning.
I’m aware that this is not all that extravagant or unique compared to some of the stories I’ve read. But to this day what stands out to me about what I’ve just explained is just how routine this became for us.
I mean truly routine.
We did this so many times, obviously not always completely the same but remarkably similar and remarkably often. There’s a reason I said that we fucked like rabbits. The sheer quantity of times we went through this routine, the consistency and the frequency of it, blows my mind to this day. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like it really happened, it was so surreal. Years of my life just disappeared in a haze of incessant fucking.
And in the morning we would just go back to our normal lives. During the day we’d be doing completely normal couple stuff, boring family stuff, work or whatever. She wanted us to go to church and bible study every week. So that’s what we did unironically. She’d pinch me or claw me really hard whenever the sermon just happened to be about Chastity or virginity or something close and I was trying not to laugh. But she’d have a smile that she couldn’t quite hide.
We were friends with half a dozen other unmarried couples in this church community and none of them had a clue that we were going home to fuck each other raw. We were the couple that would gross people out in public with our super cringy lovey dovey nonsense. We were the would post pictures of our date nights or our anniversary on FaceBook and we get comments of “oh how precious” or “sooo cute!” like clockwork.
It became a game to us. She and I could look at each other in a room full of people after not having any kind of buildup, and she would grab me by the hand and pull me into a side room or hallway to make out, or if we were at home even if we had guests she’d pull me to the bedroom to eat her out quickly. Sometimes when we were driving we would be kissing at every stoplight and stop sign and I’d be fingering her in between every gear shift.
Her parents weren’t stupid, maybe they guessed something, but they didn’t even know we lived together, and when we were at dinner with them or at church with them she and I played the part of a totally clueless, nerdy pair of college kids.
We had several other sexual adventures that were more unique, more wild or what have you. But those don’t really stand out to me nearly as much as the routine I got so used to and learned to cherish.
Today it’s not even specifically that I miss having sex regularly. It’s that I miss having a relationship with someone who knows me so completely and is completely in rhythm with me, so in sync with my wavelength and my desires.
As badly as it ended, today I can’t be anything much except grateful to Bunny for teaching me so much about myself and about how to connect with another person.
Thank you for reading. This has been really fun to write, way more fun and way easier than I expected it to be. The details are still so clear to me, I wonder why…
Hope you enjoyed it.
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/jsi9k5/me_and_my_ex_fiance_spent_years_together_putting