[FM] A dumb joke leads to our most passionate sex in months

This is going to be a long one.

This happened just yesterday afternoon. The missus and I were going about cleaning our spare-room, which had in truth become the pandemic “dump everything we don’t want to deal with now” room. We had just gotten our 14-month old daughter down for a nap and ordered some Korean food for lunch, and as we were waiting for it to be delivered we took the opportunity to get some clearing out done.

I found some of my daughter’s ball-pit balls (one of her favourite toys), two of which were blue. With no explanation, I handed these to my wife. She looked at me visibly confused. I then ask for the balls back, and when she did I responded, “You give me blue balls.”

This might require some backstory. You see, the night before she and I were getting down to business. I got her off, and she then attempted to do the same for me. Just then, however, time somehow jumped forward and we were awoken by a screaming toddler. For a moment I was left wondering if the sex actually happened or if I just dreamed it. This is, sadly, not the first time the exhaustion of two new parents has interrupted coitus.

Happily, the wife took my “blue balls” joke in the manner it was intended (as in a joke). Then, out of the blue (forgive me), she kissed me deeply and reached down my sweatpants. Not long after she was working a pretty solid hard-on. Seeing an opportunity, I said to her, “You know, I did go down on you last night.” Obliging, she got on her knees and took as much of me in her mouth as she could, with me guiding the top of her head with my hands (this is something that turns both of us on massively).

My wife is pretty great at blow-jobs, but this was one of her strongest performances yet, and I could tell she was as horny as I was. “Put a blanket down,” I said. She needed no further instruction. A blanked was laid out on the floor and she laid herself down over it. In one maneuver I pulled her pants and underwear off, and within seconds I was inside her.

Just as I was getting into the rhythm, we then remembered, almost simultaneously …the food!!! We were still expecting some Korean soups to be delivered. Of course, there was no way of stopping this train now, and my wife said, “Cum! Cum before the food comes.” Allow me this aside. I’m really, really hoping this was a just blurted out comment and not an actual attempt at another joke.

I start doing my thing, and then I heard it. Moans! Almost screams! My wife was loving this. It occurred to me that sex for us had been an entirely silent affair for the last year. We didn’t want to wake the baby, after all. Now, however, with the child comfortably in a different room, we were free to make as much noise as we please, and it was then I remembered how hot it is to hear your moaning uncontrollably in pleasure. This got me turned on all the more. Suddenly, this was not merely a husband and wife squeezing in a quickie before their lunch arrives or their baby wakes up. This was two people remembering that they’re lovers.

Unfortunately, though our child was out-of-earshot, I can’t confirm the same for the patrons of our neighbouring café. I’ve mentioned this in a previous post here. Next to our building is a café with a rooftop lounge that’s level with our apartment. With our windows open (we were cleaning, remember), there’s no way the customers there didn’t hear us. I thought this as we were making love, but opted not to tell my wife. I know this might seem assholey, but I didn’t want to interrupt what we were doing. Don’t worry, I did mention it after, and she was okay with it. Trust me, my wife loves risky sex. The chance of getting caught is a huge turn-on for her.

Now, despite my wife’s instructions to “cum before the food comes,” and me doing some of my best work to date, we lost the race. Some 20 minutes or so into our session, the doorbell rang. I had to pull my sweatpants back up (they hadn’t come all the way off), and collect some food at the door. The less said about the interaction with the poor delivery-man, the better.

Now we were presented with a dilemma. We now had some hot and delicious smelling Korean food to get through. At the same time, there was a hard cock and glistening wet pussy to deal with. Naturally, latter won out over empty bellies, and the food was set aside so that we could finish what we started. My wife got on top. Unfortunately this turned out to be less than comfortable on the floor of our spare room, so we changed to doggy. Though this was fun, we opted to finish with a handie, ironically bookending this sexy encounter the same way it started. This was hot, but admittedly less hot and passionate that the sex that was happening before the food…was delivered.

The nice thing was that was we now had what turned out to be amazingly delicious kimchi-jjigae to celebrate or spontaneous love-making. And here’s the kicker. As we were eating, the missus admitted her intent in the beginning was to merely get revenge for my clever joke. She wanted to deliberately give me blue balls by getting me aroused and then leaving me with an unsatisfied hard-on to deal with returned to the cleaning. Unfortunately for her, her clever plan backfired when she failed to consider she’d get as horny as I did.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/jhmxuu/fm_a_dumb_joke_leads_to_our_most_passionate_sex