HOEVID-19 [FM] [FF] [MF+] [Spank]

A Screenplay by JG Wankworth

INT- OFFICE BREAKROOM-LUNCHTIME

JESSICA, a 22 year old executive assistant, walks into the lunch room. A group of young (but definitely over 18) professionals gather around a lunch table to welcome MANDY, a 21 year old plot device, back from vacation.

JESSICA
Mandy! It’s been so long! How was Wuhan?

MANDY
It was amazing! I wish I could have stayed longer. Try some of this rice wine I picked up, it’s delicious!

JESSICA
Ehhh I don’t know if I should be drinking at work. Mr. Woodcock would kill me!

MANDY
A sip won’t hurt! We’ve all tried it haven’t we girls?

The girls startle, as if they’ve forgotten they were in this scene, then giggle in agreeance

MANDY
Besides, Mr Woodcock is too hard on you anyways. You deserve to relax a bit.

JESSICA hesitates, then defiantly takes a huge gulp straight from the bottle.

JESSICA
That’s not half bad! Anyways I have to go, I need to get these reports in before Mr. Woodcock  leaves for lunch.
JESSICA exits, the camera ominously zooming in on the bottle while dramatic music plays

2.INT- PRIVATE OFFICE- AFTERNOON
JESSICA is taking notes for MR WOODCOCK, a hot mid-thirties man in a suit. Despite his age and his face tattoo, he has somehow progressed far enough in his career to have a private office with a couch in it. 

MR. WOODCOCK
Jessica, snap out of it!

JESSICA looks up, startled

JESSICA
I’m sorry, it’s just so hot in here! 

JESSICA fans herself as she unbuttons the top two buttons of her shirt, partially revealing a bra that no sane woman would want to wear for eight hours straight. All of a sudden the TV in the corner blares an emergency alert. They rush over to the TV.

MR. WOODCOCK
Turn that up, we can’t miss the cheap plot exposition!

NEWS ANCHOR
In a devastating development, the World Health Organization has identified a new pandemic, Hoe-vid 19. This disease originates out of Wuhan Province, China and is highly contagious. Symptoms include fever, insatiable horniness and loss of taste in sexual partners.  Let’s go live to Tony, who’s on the ground in Wuhan Province, for more details.

The news program cuts to a camera view of what appears to be a street. The camera is clearly on the ground abandoned. Two sets of legs can be seen in the corner of the view. It appears the cameraman and the reporter are fucking vigerously

NEWS ANCHOR (con’t)
Uhhhh, thanks for that Tony! Anyways, anyone who has traveled to Wuhan or has had close contact with anyone who has traveled to Wuhan is advised to quarantine for 14 days.

Cut back to office

JESSICA
Wuhan….
Flashback shot to her drinking out of the bottle

MR. WOODCOCK
Jessica, what’s wrong?

JESSICA
Well, Mandy just got back from Wuhan!

MR. WOODCOCK
Well you should be fine as long as you haven’t had any close contact with her. Are you showing any symptoms?

JESSICA
Well I am a little warm, And we did share that wine-

MR WOODCOCK(interrupting)
Wine? You’re drinking on company time?
JESSICA(spluttering)
Well I mean it was only a sip!

MR WOODCOCK
Jessica what am I supposed to do with you!

JESSICA 
Well… I guess I’ve been a bad employee 
Jessica unbuttons the rest of her buttons and pulls her shirt off

JESSICA (con’t)
I guess you have to punish me now!

MR WOODCOCK
Gasps Jessica, I think you’ve been infected with hoe-vid 19!

JESSICA
Help me Mr. Woodcock, I’m so horny!

Mr. Woodcock pretends to consider the ramifications of fucking his secretary in the METOO era for about five seconds.

MR WOODCOCK
You’re right Jessica, you’ve been a very bad girl and you deserve to be punished.

MR WOODCOCK grabs JESSICA roughly and bends her over the couch

MR WOODCOCK
Since you’re infected with Hoe-vid 19, you’re getting spanked 19 times.

MR WOODCOCK and JESSICA have totally realistic sex, featuring MR WOODCOCK’s uncomfortably large penis and JESSICA’s totally real 10 minute screaming orgasms.Afterwords, they are lying on MR WOODCOCK’s conveniently placed couch

JESSICA
You know what! If I got Hoe-vid 19 from Mandy then the rest of the office might be infected too! We should go check on them!

3. INT- OFFICE BREAKROOM-AFTERNOON

MANDY and the rest of the extras are engaged in a lesbian orgy. Despite the fact that all of them have half inch long fake nails, we believe they are actual lesbians. They are also scissoring which is totally a real thing real lesbians do.

MR. WOODCOCK
Oh no! The entire office has Hoe-vid 19!

JESSICA
I don’t know if it’s the hoe-vid talking but I’m still horny!

MANDY
I know how to fix that!

MANDY pulls out a strap on because that’s a totally normal thing to have accessible at the office

All of a sudden, there’s a knock at the door. The orgy stops as everyone looks up. An extra answers the door to see a DOORDASH GUY standing there with a tray full of coffees

DOORDASH GUY
Uhh… I have a bunch of pumpkin spice lattes to deliver to this address?

The pack of horny extras pounce upon DOORDASH GUY, and he is pulled into the crazed sex pile. A particularly basic-looking office worker grabs one of the available lattes and alternates between licking pussy and sipping on her PSL.

Scene fades out

4. INT- DR’S OFFICE- TWO WEEKS LATER

JESSICA
So Dr, are there any lasting effects from my case of Hoe-vid 19?

NAMELESS SEXY DR
Well Jessica, your antibody test came back negative, which means that you never had Hoe-vid 19, you’re just a hoe.

Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/jest8g/hoevid19_fm_ff_mf_spank