23[F] i have used the nword in bed before.

First of all i would like to say this. I support black lives and the context here is important.

Now, what is the context?

This happened when i was 21, two years ago, i was dating this black man, we can call him jay.
Jay seemed to have an interesting fetish. He wanted me to mentally abuse him while we fucked.

Our third time having intercourse he asked me to call him a slave. I felt really uncomfortable but he wanted it badly. He told me it would really make him feel good. So i did. I called my black bf a slave during sex. The next couple times he had me call him it again. While he blew my back out in doggy i called him a slave and gave orders.

then he took it to another level. He wanted me to call him a n*gger. Which i could not do. He was begging me so in the end i did it. I called him the nword. Our relationship lasted around 6 weeks and in the bedroom i regularly called him the nword and a slave.

WARNING i only ever called him or even said these words in the bedroom. I have never said or called him the nword out of the bedroom. All this happened during sex.

Heres my question. Is it okay for a white girl like me to call a black man in bed the nword if they wish for it?

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/jc0943/23f_i_have_used_the_nword_in_bed_before