“You are aroused, aren’t you? But not in a usual way. It’s like a liquid electricity. A mix of fear, wonder, and exhilaration. Like birth and death morphing one into the other and back again.”
“Yes.”
“You are leaking. Like you are weeping for this culmination. As if you would transform into absolution, pure energy, if only you could experience this one monumental thing.”
“Y-Yes.”
“Close your eyes and move your hips to the currents of what you are feeling. Forget I am here. Sway with it. Slowly ease forward. Seek with the growing, surging energy of your cock. Become the embodiment of your desires. Don’t fight the throbbing. Don’t resist the intimate outline that I can see becoming defined in your pants. Let it pour out of you. Let it ignite.”
“Ohhhhh….”
“You can see yourself. Naked. You want to become a mountain, arched, with your cock upward as the pinnacle, like the roof of heaven, like a lightning rod. You want to thrust your cock into the air and let it swell, let it radiate with molten heat. You want the world to see and feast its eyes on the beauty of your cock and its arousal. You can barely breathe under the weight of such precious need…. So you will go to the place I have prepared for you. You will reveal the glory of your nakedness and drape yourself over the pillowed arch that I have created. You will thrust your cock just as I have freed the image from your mind.”
[Shaking. Obeying.]
“Fuck, you are beautiful. I can see you cock pulsing. So delicious alone and high in their. Like a fallen god climbing to his towering feet. It can’t even dance because your arousal is so perfectly complete. You can feel my stare, a man’s gaze, wrapping lovingly around your cock. You know that I understand the deepest, tiniest secrets of every possible ecstasy. And I know that you crave me. To feel your lips closing around the living thickness of my cock. And you want to suck and lick and experience so elegantly, so slowly, and your cock is shuddering with that desire now, unable to resolve the conflict of whether you want more to give or receive everything that you are imagining.”
[Shaking uncontrollably.]
“Feel the warmth of my exhales on the gorgeous, thundering shaft of your cock. Just that little tickle of air is almost enough to pull you into beautiful oblivion.”
“Oh God. Oh my God.”
“And now I am going to slowly devour your mountainous cock. So slowly that I can savor every deathly moan that erupts from your purified soul. You are about to be unmade, recreated, transformed….”
[Thrusting upward as far as humanly possible. Holding there. Frozen.]
“Now surrender your cock to me.”
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/jb3944/clairvoyance_m4mbicurioustotal_surrender
This is fantastic! Choosing to pick one brief moment in a larger scene, describe it in detail, and leave the reader to build out the rest in their mind, really works here. I can imagine the dynamic between the characters, what happened before, and what’ll happen after.
I love how character A is clearly experienced and in control, speaking with authority, in long phrases, weaving all these complex metaphors. And then you have B, who can only speak and narrate in short phrases and exclamations because of how overwhelming the experience is. Again, it gives a crystal clear understanding of the dynamic between the two without it ever needing to be stated outright.
…And what a dynamic it is; and one that makes perfect sense in the context of the [bicurious] tag. For our bicurious male character (who I assume is the author, based on the crosspost title), there’s a powerful appeal in having a more confident, experienced man guide him through a sexual experience, and help him get used to a kind of pleasure that internalised homophobia says he shouldn’t have. Character A not only saying that it’s acceptable for B to do this, but encouraging him and praising him for it. This is where the descriptive language works incredibly well, painting this same-sex act with imagery of power and divinity, as a refutation of heteronormativity.
TL;DR: excellent story that manages to pack a lot of depth despite its brevity.