Okay yeah, so this story is unfortunately very true. This happened about five years ago when I was 13.
I was going to a fair with five of my friends. I had some half-price coupons to the local theme park (Valleyfair in Minnesota) and we decided to go together.
So we get to the theme park and right at the entrance of the park is this roller coaster called the Steel Venom that we decide will be our first ride. We wait in line to get on the ride, and start buckling in when it’s our turn.
Now here comes the fuck up – after I push down my harness, I had just a little bit too much room to wiggle around. I figure I might as well push it one more notch, better safe than sorry right? As it turns out, I was very, very sorry for being safe. I push the harness down one more notch and the ride starts, and I’m enjoying the ride from the safety of my snug harness, secure in the knowledge that I won’t slip out and die. I loved roller coasters so I’m enjoying myself, having a great time, screaming louder than I need to.
And then all of the sudden I realize I’m enjoying the ride a little bit TOO much. The harness, which was snugly contouring my body, unfortunately had an iron clad hold on my junk and was vibrating in all the right wrong ways.
I start to panic, and frantically try to adjust myself in any way to get my package away from the roller coaster-turned-sex toy, but it was no use. I was trapped and wishing that I would’ve just let myself slip out of my harness instead.
So at this point the ride is almost over, and I’m thinking that maybe, just maybe, I can hold out. This ride doesn’t need to have a happy ending – through the power of sheer will, I may be able to resist. But my adolescent cock had other plans.
Right at the end of the ride (any of you who have ridden it before will know this) the ride stops on the tracks and shakes the passengers violently. It’s normally a fun part of the ride – I think the point is to make it seem like the ride is breaking or something. However, this time around the roller coaster shook and, despite my best efforts, my virgin nuts couldn’t take it and I shot such a needlessly massive load in my briefs.
So we get off on the ride and I tell my frends that I need to go to bathroom. I assess the damage and my shorts and underwear are a total loss (I shouldn’t have worn Khaki shorts).
At this point I need to decide if I tell the truth to my friends or make up some bullshit, but apparently they already figured it out.
They had a good laugh and I tell them that if we want to stay, I need to buy a new pair of pants from the gift shop, and that I’ll wait here in the bathroom and they can pick some out.
So if course they come back with these sweatpants with “TIDAL WAVE” written in big letters (“Tidal Wave” is another roller coaster at the theme park). I sport them commando and the rest of the night they never stopped joking about it, which was pretty embarrassing, but in they end they didn’t tell anyone what happened.
The cherry on top, as if it wasn’t already humiliating enough, the ride was only about two minutes long.
TL;DR I learned the hard way not to overly tighten the roller coaster restraints.
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/j7ie5a/the_roller_coaster_felt_a_little_too_good