Summer came and the intense heat made me obsessed with bodies. Including my own. I was exercising and feeling good, taking pictures of my naked self and posting them online, and was feeling a need to try different things sexually – to explore my hidden sexual desires. My girlfriend was far away at the time and we haven’t seen each other in 3 months. I missed touching the skin of her soft and round butt, caressing her cheeks and biting her nipples. Our sex was not evolving but I always appreciated her body. She was very feminine with a classical beauty, not the typical model we can see nowadays. Her hips were wide and her thighs were strong. She had a good body to spank and she could handle extraordinary sexual efforts. She looked like a modern Venus or a roman sculpture – a natural woman. Her pussy was small and perfect and she was very pudic. She would get aroused only if I started to touch her, but she would never take initiative. However, once she felt comfortable (which could take a long time), she could relax and deliver herself to the passions of wild sex.
The problem was that we developed a routine. I would kiss her breasts for long and touch her clitoris very slowly, feeling her shaved pussy lips dripping and her breath intensifying. I loved to see her butthole when she was in all fours. It was a virgin hole and it was impossible to insert a penis in there. It was pink with a pure pattern. As much as I’d love to stretch it, I wouldn’t want to ruin a beautiful part of her body, although I wouldn’t mind to see the gape I would leave after a long session of anal. Apart from that, my fascination with her butthole made me want to cum on it almost everytime we had sex. After retreating my soaked penis dripping from her fluids, I would rub it against her butthole and came on it with the strength of a bull. I loved to see my cum dripping from that delicate anus. She then cleaned herself and asked if I was done for the night in a sarcastic tone. I thanked her for offering herself to me and rubbed her whole body with a long massage so she could sleep totally relaxed.
She was not much into blowjobs, and that always intrigued me. But nor was I much into licking her perfectly designed vagina. I knew she loved my penis but she felt too much like a disobedient girl when she felt the head of my shaft inside her mouth. She tried to suck it a few times but she was never at ease with herself. It was too dirty for her and the last day she offered her lips to my cock she touched me with her teeth quite a few times and killed my erection. She never wanted to do it again. I also wanted to give back some oral sex but she was too shy for me to lick her pussy. She always avoided the cunnillingus because she did not feel comfortable. One day I convinced her to do it and she was dripping so much that I had great difficulty dealing with the taste of her pussy, although I was excited to see her having pleasure and loved the texture of her clitoris. I still continued to lick her and she contorted herself in pleasure, but when she came to her senses and looked at it in a lucid light, she rejected all kinds of genital licking.
One day I wanted to lick her asshole but she would not let me do it. She said it was not hygienic and I respected her choice. I felt dirty for having asked that and never did so again. However, I always had a desire for her to lick my anus, but I knew she would reject that idea right away. I also did not want my girlfriend to lick my ass because I wanted to treat her as a princess and it felt below her dignity, but maybe that was a prejudice of mine at the time. I wanted some interaction with my asshole and when she did not want to get herself dirty with my cum, I would just ejaculate in all fours. I’ve noticed her looking at my asshole contracting as my penis expelled each burst of semen. I know she loved my hole as well. It was beautiful like hers but with a male touch. Slowly, I started to ask her to finger it and she agreed, but only a little bit. She would just slide a little finger and leave it. With time, I positioned myself to be penetrated by her finger but she started to refuse it. She wanted a typical session of love – or, as it usually happened, a slightly savage session of sex.
I started to crave that anal pleasure more and more and learned a lot about myself. I knew that if I loved anal, it had nothing to do with my sexuality, but rather my physiology. If penetrating my ass gave me pleasure, it was because my body was designed that way. I started to explore this side of my sexuality with a black little buttplug. I would bathe it in anal lubricant and sometimes I slept with it. Even went shopping with it. Imagine a relatively strong male with no female tendencies wandering around with a buttplug. I felt like an imposter and questioned my sexuality, but that little toy was giving me too much pleasure. Then, I bought a glass dildo that stretched my hole a little bit more until I finally reached a point where I felt like my butt was ready for almost anything. A trained male hole that could take a good fucking. I would put myself in all fours and use very feminine poses with my ass to gain maximum pleasure. I would ride a dildo while cumming at the same time from anal pleasure. I needed that diversity in my life and I never stopped loving my girlfriend.
This search for pleasure started to get dangerous in summer. My body demanded sex and my girlfriend was far away. I needed interaction and so I started to give webcam shows where I was masturbating and inserting all kinds of toys. My body was in very good shape because of exercise and a good diet and I would have erections for hours. People tipped me and the money helped to keep my erection. I would feel extremely aroused by being worshipped on a webcam and my cock and hole received many compliments. The shows started to be my priority regarding sex and it was how I felt fulfilled sexually. I would stroke my cock slowly while my pink head was showing and hiding on the skin of my shaft. My cock points up while erect and that was a trademark for me. A cock that points to the sky.
I also ejaculated a lot, especially in all fours, because my show attracted many gay men and I wanted to satisfy them. They loved to see my asshole’s contractions as I expelled great loads of semen. Other than that, I would put my legs up and penetrated my hole with the biggest toys I could find. I knew my ass was not as great as a woman’s, but it had a grace and a form that attracted even many females. Those females said they would love to peg me, suck my cock, do anything I’d want to them. I would say I had a girlfriend with a sense of guilt, and then I would also tell them that she knew I was a cam boy. After saying that for a couple of times, I quit my brief camboy career and dedicated myself again to being a good boyfriend with a balanced sex life. This coincided with her being back again. The sex kept being the same, but the seed of anal pleasure was sprouting inside my butthole, which started to demand me to insert bigger and bigger things inside of it. It started to be an addiction and I would try to slide two or three toys at a time inside myself. I felt my hole gaining a new dimension, but its condition was still very aesthetically pleasing. I still loved to look at it. Now it was larger, more prominent, ready for big insertions. It used to be a really tight and innocent hole without a mark of stretching, but not anymore.
One day I risked inserting different sorts of objects because I needed something bigger, and my hole almost sucked a deodorant that would get stuck inside me. I would need to visit the hospital with an object inside my ass and would not be so funny. That was when I decided to stop the anal madness and focus less on sex. I would just take pictures of myself in all fours, take pictures of my cock and post them online. The feedback was great and I knew many interesting people because of it. A great deal of them gave me very kind compliments, many gay men started to follow my posts and said that my ass was hungry for cock. I ignored what I read and thanked them for their comments. I would be incapable of laying with a man because I was not wired that way. Many straight men said they would fuck my ass and that I just turned them gay. That made me squat even more so I could have the best possible ass I could possibly work on.
Many females also wanted to know who I was. One of them sent me pictures of her and her family while she had only seen me naked. We talked and discovered that we had a lot in common. Then, we talked on the webcam and, without realizing it, we ended up masturbating via skype while moaning and touching our bodies. I remember her well built legs wide open while she was sliding two fingers inside her pussy for me. She had a pale tone of skin which I loved and a curious face with bright eyes. She was surprised that I came for her on our first webcam encounter but then she also did the same.
I felt guilty for doing it because of my girlfriend, and it seemed stupid because this girl was not as beautiful or attractive as my sweet partner was. I realized then how things can easily go from talking to virtual sex and decided not to give another chance to any girl talking to me. I knew that in such scenarios things would happen naturally and I would not have time to think twice about my commitments, so I deleted all my accounts full of lusty glory and perversion for a while, thinking I would never be addicted to posting online.
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/iy0v7f/confessions_of_a_username_part_i_semi