I [F] lost my vaginal and anal virginity as a freshman to a senior who was definitely manipulative and abusive but kept hooking up for a year

I [F, then 18] lost my vaginal and anal virginity as a freshman to a senior was definitely abusive and manipulative but kept hooking up for a year

This was years ago when I just started college. I’m 23 now.

I never had sex in high school. I had a hs boyfriend but we only went so far as oral sex – the only guy I had ever been with before college. When I first got to college I was overwhelmed by all the freedom, parties, and cute guys. I downloaded tinder literally the first day. A few days into it, I met this funny, cute senior guy. We hit it off and I told him I was a virgin, afraid that he wouldn’t like that. He said he didn’t care wanted to hang out. So after about a week of talking I met up with him. He lived off campus in his own apartment which was nice. While I was there just fingered me and ate me out and I gave him a bj, with him finishing in my mouth. It was so intense and I came harder than I had my entire life – he was really talented with his hands and tongue. He didn’t even pressure me to have sex.

Over next couple weeks, we started hooking up on a regular basis, about 2 or three times a week. We both understood it was extremely casual. At first, he didn’t ask or try to pressure me into having sex. He started asking around the 4th or 5th time. I didn’t give in until about the 3rd week. When he took my virginity, he was gentle, taking care to not hurt me. It was such a good feeling to get fucked, my first time was indescribable. Afterwards I felt a little dirty for losing it to a guy I barely knew.

We continued hooking up multiple times a week throughout my freshman year. Over time, he progressively got more rough with me and started treating me worse. He would choke and slap me which he didn’t do at the beginning. He would fuck me harder and ignore some of my pleas to be gentle. When sucking his dick he would hold my head down to gag me even if I tried to push away. He would call me fat and ugly in order to lower my self esteem. He would say other girls names while he was fucking me and even show me pics and videos of some of the other girls he was talking to/fucking and describe how they were so much more attractive than me. Even though we agreed to keep it casual, showing me those other girls still kind of hurt me.

He also had misogynistic and racist tendencies too, but I’m not sure if that was genuine or if he just did that to be an even bigger douche to me. For example he would say women are worthless, telling me I’m just a fucking whore, I would never be as beautiful as a white, jewish, middle eastern, or Indian girl (I’m East asian, and he was really into those kind of girls specifically. He didn’t mention them all at once, at different times he would mention x type of girls being so much more beautiful than Asian girls). Regardless of the poor treatment, he still would eat me out and make me cum, which is probably why I kept coming back as an attention hungry freshman. In hindsight, all the rough treatment and insults were him definitely being abusive/manipulative knowing the social power dynamic between a freshman and senior.

He was especially rough when he would get blackout drunk and drunk dial me. Sometimes when he got blackout I actually feared for my life because he would choke me so hard. He would have no recollection of any of it the next day.

In the spring semester he started convincing me to do things I never would have imagined beforehand. He talked me into letting him fuck without a condom, knowing that I was not taking birth control and he was having sex with numerous other girls. After that point, he never wore a condom with me again (until near the end of the semester, more on that later). I kept letting him fuck me raw because always pulled out well before he would cum and he would just finish in my mouth.

Near the later part of the semester, he started trying to play with my ass and asking to fuck me anally, which I refused to do. But after a few weeks of asking, he eventually persuaded me to. It was painful and I told him to be gentle, but he kept fucking me anyway. He fucked me in the ass about 3 or 4 times after that, never wearing a condom and always making me suck his dick afterwards, which was honestly kind of gross since I didn’t use an enema. To this day he is actually the only guy to ever fuck me anally.

We stopped fucking around late April/early May, like the last few weeks of the semester. One time around then, he actually he came inside me, which made me cry hysterically. He just laughed and bought me plan B. I swore I wouldn’t fuck him again after that, but just 3 days later I found myself once again in his bed. I made him wear a condom after that incident though. He only fucked me two or three times with a condom, and then just stopped messaging me. It was near the end of the semester but there was still some time left. I asked him why he stopped and he just said it wasn’t fun with a condom on. He graduated so I stopped seeing him.

Over time I’ve come to realize that the guy I was definitely abusive and manipulative, taking advantage of me as an freshman. He was just a huge asshole in general too. Regardless, he has fucked me better than anyone I’ve ever had sex with, even to this day. His cock was actually on the smaller side – like 4 or 5 inches – he was just really good at sex.

A couple years later, while I was a junior I actually saw him on the street our colleges city. I guess he was visiting a friend who was a senior or something. I felt ashamed to see him, knowing all the bad shit he did to me. He DEFINITELY saw me though, but just ignored me like I didn’t exist. I check his Instagram last year, and it looks like he has a girlfriend with whom he does the basic annoying cutesy couple things. I think she’s middle eastern. I wonder if he also treats her like shit.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/iuqm16/i_f_lost_my_vaginal_and_anal_virginity_as_a