Hey y’all, I haven’t posted in a while and I’ve been meaning to write this one out for a long while. Please excuse any weird formatting as I’m writing this on my phone late at night. This is gonna be a long one that will take a while to lay all the way as I’m going to go off on some tangents to lend some context and add some comedy. If you just wanna skip to the sexy time stuff I’ll have a marker labeled
*Sexy Time*
So without further delay, let’s dive in.
So way back in like late October/ early November of 2019 I had been using Tinder to hopefully find someone cool to date. During that time I can remember stumbling onto a profile of an attractive Femme who had some really cute photos on thier profile, and a funny bio to boot. The real kicker was that one of their photos had a picture of them with a rat trap on their tongue. Yes dear reader, I know that’s weird, that being said my profile had a short clip of me wearing a cactus, so weird attracts weird. Suffice to say I swiped right thinking nothing would ever come out of it, but hoping something would because my abysmal luck with Tinder the previous 3 years.
Fast forward a couple weeks I had been working an overnight at my job when I got a notification, the femme (let’s call them T) had matched with me. I was both excited and a lil apprehensive since I didn’t have the best luck with matches, but I decided to ask them what made them swipe right on me (my profile was a bit of a shit post.) I asked,
“So was it the Jeff Goldblum (I also had a picture of me without a shirt on posing in front of a shower curtain with that iconic Jeff pose from Jurassic Park, while wearing a Jeff Goldblum mask, don’t ask,) or was it the cactus?” They replied with
“The cactus.” I then asked them why they had a rat trap on their tongue, they told me,
“It’s because I have a severe addiction to cheese.” This led into some stellar banter about how I was happy they were getting the help they needed. I later asked during the conversation, if cheese wasn’t an option then would that mean a pizza date would be off the table? With that final thought they admitted to having backed themself into a corner with the bit and I went to bed. A week or so would pass before I talked to them again.
After about a week of but messaging I reached back out, I had asked if they would like to tie me to a chair and force me to watch Trailer Park Boys. On retrospect, not the best thing to ask someone on Tinder, but with an apology T let me know that it was okay and we started to message back and forth again. We swapped weird stories about festivals, camping trips, and just strange interactions. I told them about me having broken my leg earlier in the year, and any the nasty scar from surgery that I got from it. We talked like this until November 10 the, that was the day that T gave me thier number late in the evening.
After getting someone’s number for the first time ever off of Tinder I was ecstatic to say the least. I very enthusiasticly told all my roommates who whooped and hollered with me at my success thus far. Little did any of us know that would not be the highlight of the night. So with that foreshadowing, yes to those of you who guessed, I asked T on a date that very same night. A bold move? Maybe. But it worked, they agreed to go in a date to one of those late night diners you read shit people meeting hitmen in.
I remember when I pulled into the parking lot of their apartment and seeing them waiting. I got out of my car and walked up asking, “T?” They walked over, we exchanged pleasantries and shook hands before we hopped into my rig and drove to our date destination. We talked along the way a bit and told more stories from our lives. When we got to our destination we went inside and ordered our food. We actually ordered the same thing, a burger and milkshake in the same flavor, I told T how I broke my leg and showed off my battle scar, they thought it was cool.
Let me describe T real quick, their a tall-ish punk fem with orange hair at the time. Delightfully chubby, smaller in the breast department but with an ass that could easily kill a man who didn’t know how to handle it. They had kinda pale skin at the time and a lil bit of a tomboy-ish face. They were wearing leggings, some old wine red boots, a tattered punk shirt with patches giving a lot of it, and a leopard print jacket. I at the time was just wearing a black t-shirt, and black basket ball shorts. Yeah we probably looked like quite the pair and small part of me thought that too, but who cares? We were at a diner at like 10 something at night having burgers, fries, and milkshakes.
After we’d eaten I paid for the meal and we left. I don’t remember how it got brought up exactly, but I ended up asking if T would like to go to this popular hill in town and hang for a bit. They agreed and we were off, taking the whole way. When we got to the top of the hill, backed into a space (cause only cool guys do that I guess?) And we sat and talked for probably 30 minutes about our jobs and daily lives. Interests and disinterests, you know, the very basic stuff. T would later tell me that at that point they figured they would give me a blowjob from having had a good time during our date and then ending up in at the sort of look out hill. Y’know, like some kind of movie. But that’s not what happened.
Now had happened was, we talked about impulsivity and how I’m okay with doing basically anything. And at that point, around 11 at night, I asked if they’d like to go to the beach. For context we live maybe an hour and 45 mins away from the beach. They very surprisedly said yes, and wouldn’t you know it, we were off on the next portion of our journey. During our drive we had conversations about people we both knew, laid out what we were looking for in partners, and shared our weird sexual stories. As for the mutual people we knew, we had a could mutual friends, and I told T that they might know my younger brother cause he was kinda well known around town with the punk kids. Little did I know at the time cause of driving, when T heard who my brother was, their face went super pale. The reason for this is that T did in fact know my brother, and had actually given him a blowjob only a week or two prior to meeting me. T told me later that after our date they had told their friends that they had already blew it (haha) with me cause they had sucked my brother’s dick. Spoiler alert, it honestly just became a joke between the two of us that led to some hilarious clap backs.
Getting back to the long drive, we talked about our weird sexual stories, I shared about the time that I cock slapped an ex in the eye. T shared about a time where they had met up with this older guy and gone way out into the middle of nowhere with the understanding it would just be for some controlled substances, and there was to be no funny business. Well reader, I’m sure you know, but funny business in fact happened.
During our taking any what we wanted from our partners T shared with me that they had recently gotten out a very toxic relationship, and kinda just wanted to meet a kind person for a lil bit. I told them that I hadn’t really dated for a few years either due to depression, low self esteem, or just plain but finding anyone to date at the time. I explained that I was really just hoping to learn how to communicate in relationships more effectively, and work on setting/ respecting boundaries. We talked about these topics for a while and at some point we were silent cause we had talked so much and we just drove. At one point we did have to stop so I could take a leak on the side of the road. T ended up doing the same thing, and of course I did not try to sneak a peak as that’s kinda creepy.
Once we arrived on the coast line, I took T out to this spot that stretches of out into the ocean and makes this little bay. We traipsed about in the sand, T jumped up on some dicks and we just spent time being people. Now I know this seems like the perfect set-up fit a very romantic beach stroll with an passion filled kiss and the works. Uh yeah, no that did not happen. Honestly we just walked around for a bit and then went and hopped back in my car. By this point it was like 1 in the morning. T was tired, I was fine cause I worked graveyard at that point so I was already a night owl. The real issue was that my car did not have enough gas to make it back to town, and all the gas stations were closed. so I asked T if they were okay with me getting us a hotel to bed down in for the night. They agreed and we went off to find a nice place to lay our heads for the night.
For those of you reading all of this, I’m sorry. I just checked how long this story is. We were able to get a hotel room and one I had parked next to where our room was, we got inside. I made sure to ask T if they were okay with me during in my underwear as it’s what I normally do. Reason this is important is because we had gotten a single queen size bed to sleep on.
Now reader I know what you’re thinking “damn, they gonna fuck in a hotel room after all that? Good job OP.” Firstly, yes, we’s gone fuck in that hotel room. Secondly, do not congratulate me, cause my dumb ass all the way up to this point had been fucking oblivious to all the signs that there was gonna be some boom boom happening. We had gotten into the bed, turned on the TV, T took off thier bra, and my head ass is thinking “oh okay they wanna be comfortable.” I was perfectly happy just cuddling and going to sleep. It wasn’t until T kissed me while we were cuddling up that my brain finally figured this shit out and I audibly said “Oh, okay.” T told me after the fact that after we made it to the beach, they had planned to fuck me, and I was none the wiser about it. Fucking idiot.
*Sexy Time*
So yeah we were macking on each other. T took my hand and put it on their ass and boy howdy let me tell you it was magnificent. T still had on their underwear which I think were a shade of light blue, or maybe that was the TV light, either way their ass felt so nice to grab. Large, soft, with nice firmness to it. I had not up to this point had such a nice booty in my hands ever. We made out and felt each other’s bodies up and down. During all this T took off thier shirt, I followed suit and soon after that our underwear came off.
Now naked we continued to kiss, and fondle each other’s bodies. I remember I stuck my fingers into T’s vagina and they stroked my perfectly erect, average sized, nicely shaped cock while we made out. At one point I asked T if they were okay with Oral, they gave me a very nonchalant look and started going into the blankets to get at my member. I stop and say, “no, I meant me, go down on you.” Cause folks, let me tell ya, I love eating pussy. I love how a person’s body reacts, I love getting someone off with my mouth, and I absolutely pride myself on being good at it. They were surprised for all of a millisecond and then smiled and spread their legs. I wasted zero time getting down to the foot of the bed and kissing around T’s pussy.
T had an unshaved pussy, and I loved it. For anyone who doesn’t like hair on a person’s body, grow up, sex is not like porn unless it’s already planned to be like be porn, now back to me making out with T’s pussy. I kissed all around on their thighs, lightly rubbing their pussy with a finger or a thumb, lightly biting here and there, slowly calculating when and where I would strike. I noticed that T really responded well to having their clit stimulated. So I gave their pussy a tentative lick, and a sweet little kiss before I went in for the kill. I gave their clit a couple licks and they loved it, moaning in such a sweet higher tone that any person might think they were faking it. But no. T was enjoying themself, and I was enjoying them too. I licked thier clit while sliding a finger or two from time to time to stimulate thier G-spot. Oh that smell of sex was nice, the must of two people who clawed at one another wanting nothing more to feel what the other could offer. It was heaven. While I was doing the lord’s work, making T feel like all that mattered was that moment, they actually started to moan my name. While I have had sex before, this was the first time someone moaned my name with meaning, I have no idea why, but that spurred me on. It was like the call of a challenge from a hated foe, taunting you to do your worst to them. That’s The moment when I just completely have in and started sucking T’s clit and posting their G-spot without any mercy, breaks, or reprieve from the pleasure in wanted them to feel.
Now, let me remind you, we’re in a hotel. This was the first time I’d ever had sex in a hotel. And I’d say we made the best of it, late at night, having loud, moaning sex in a hotel room. Look, if you have not, I urge you, do it. It is wonderful. After some time in between the orgasms that I was giving, T pulled my face up to them, which I was actually a little relieved about because I had been using one leg to balance myself for quite some time as I laid on the edge of the bed. They kissed me so deeply and with so much lust I realized I was only a contender for who was enjoying it the most. At that point, T indicated that it was my turn. A lil background real quick though, up to this point, I’d had my fair share of blowjob’s, but I had never had someone make me cum. No, really, I’m being serious. A previous sexual partner had sucked my dick for like ten minutes but had to stop because thier jaw hurt. So I always thought my dick just didn’t really get stimulated all that much from oral. So I communicated that when T started to go for my dick. They said okay, and went about doing their business. The feeling of having your dick sucked is such a unique thing that I understand why dudes like blowjob’s so much. The feeling of your dick in someone’s mouth, the pressure from the their tongue pressing up and down your shaft. The warm, inviting feeling of a tongue pressing against your head, and feeling the back of someone’s throat. I was feeling all of that as T bobbed thier head at a good pace up and down the length of my dick. I could feel the slight wetness of thier spit trickling down to my balls and then down the skin of my sack. For those, maybe 3-5 minutes, I held my composure, but then T picked up the pace, a little here, a little there. Before I knew it I had that familiar feeling, that feeling you get where it feels like a flood has gathered and is just waiting to burst free. I also have a vein in my foot that throbs weirdly right before I cum.
I had just enough time to stop T and warn them that I was indeed going to cum and this was the point that they needed to decide if they wanted to continue or stop. Their response? They nodded quickly, and then attacked my dick with a rapid sucking technique that I had no chance against, I came, and I came hard. T pressed my dick far into thier mouth, my cock throbbed as my cum was shot into the back of thier throat, and T swallowed every last drop, even giving a few little sucks to make sure they drained what they could. It felt so good in ways I can’t even describe without it sounding crude.
After that we went back to making out and I couldn’t help myself. I sucked T’s nipples on their, admittedly, small boobs, and played with every sensual inch of thier body. Biting, kissing, sucking? None of it was off the table at this point. But that just wasn’t enough. After having been given such an awesome orgasm I was not about to call it a night. I got my hair ass in gear and went right back to town on T’s pussy with my mouth. I did this because I appreciated how they made me feel wanted, but more importantly because I wanted them to cum and never forget that I made them cum without fail. I did this until I got hard again. And yes reader, at this point we had sex. Now a side note before I get into this, I had contemplated bringing a condom before I left home for our date, but hear me out, I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would ever have sex with someone on a first date. Beyond that I didn’t expect this night to take all the turns out did. So do as I say, but as I do. Wear protection.
I told T that I didn’t have any condoms, they didn’t care, they wanted my dick, and they wanted it right then and there. I do not need to be told twice to fuck someone. I slid my dick into T’s pussy until I bottomed out. I let my dick rest there for a few moments, savoring that warm, wet, purely inviting feeling of a pussy that wants to be fucked. The slight pulsating as a person’s vaginal muscles desperately grasp at a cock, ah, bliss. I pulled my cock almost all the way out before pushing back in, repeating this action until I pulled my dick all the way out and sunk it hilt deep into thier pussy. I’m not good at fucking fast, I can not pound someone into the pillows with my dick, but so help me god I will sensually and slowly fuck someone until they melt, or get near an orgasm. If my dick can’t finish the job, I will go back with my mouth, or my hand and I will give that person the orgasm they do rightfully deserve. Luckily this time around, after the foreplay we’d had earlier, my engine was hot, and so was T’s. I fucked them into a couple orgasms between kissing while fucking, and trying a couple variations on missionary, I did what I set out to do. I felt they’re pussy pulsating with each rolling wave, it was ecstacy and pure unforgiving pleasure. But like all things it had to end eventually. We fucked until I could stand it no longer, I had to cum. I of course communicated this to T, they told me to cum on their mound. I kept going until I was right on that edge, stareing at the beast that is my sexual desire, it clawing at my body to release it. I pulled out, I used my dick to rub a final orgasm out of T’s clit, and we both came.
After we could collect ourselves, I went to the bathroom and grabbed a towel to wipe up the mess I made. After that we laid back, softly kissing and enjoying the moment. When I looked at the clock, it was already 3am. We had been at it for over an hour, a personal best. Because I had been a noc shift worker at the time, I was not tired. T had gone to sleep, and I laid there, content. I may have drifted off once or twice for maybe 30 mins at a time, but otherwise I was awake until we left the next morning around 9. We showered together and joked with each other, left the hotel, and got breakfast at a diner about an hour up the shoreline as we were taking the long way around to go home. We didn’t talk as much on the way back as we did on the way there. It was kinda poetic in a weird way. After we had gotten back we saw each other more and would start dating fairly quickly. We dated for shit 6 to 7 months, until we broke up, but we’re still friends now. We may have even had some post breakup sex recently. But my sweet readers, that is a story for a different time.
Whew, that took a whole ass energy drink and almost three hours to write on my phone. I really hope you enjoyed this story about the one and only Tinder date I’ve been on, as much as I enjoyed reminiscing over it. I had been meaning to write it all out here for a long time, but only asked T if could this very night. I’m sorry if my writing isn’t super great it ruin the groove of the story, but that’s just how I write. Either way, to those of you who read the whole ass thing, fucking legends.
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/ioqua9/my_first_and_only_successful_tinder_date_very_long