Original post followed by updates. I was adding them last night but not sure people could see them.
My wife [27] and I [28] have been married almost four years. We started dating in college and got married a little while after I graduated.
She has a good sized following on Instagram and 99% of what she posts is from our workouts, whether it’s CrossFit or hiking or whatever. I will be the first to admit I married way out of my league. I will never deny that.
We have worked out at the same gym for a while now. Lots of old faces but some new ones every so often. Not a lot of people stick with CrossFit but there’s always a new person willing to try it out. On Monday, a new guy showed up. The guy is in incredible shape, and he’s a freak because of his size. He’s probably 6’5” and I’m guessing 245, but that’s a guess. He has nothing but muscle on his frame.
After we worked out he took a liking to my wife. She openly flirted back which 100% caught me off guard. I walked over and she introduced me as her husband. He told me she was amazing. I agreed and we went our separate ways. I made a comment about him flirting with her and she just laughed and said it was cute.
Fast forward to Wednesday. We worked out again and they talked after for a minute and then we all started cleaning up the room. Then he shocked me by asking me “I know we just met but your wife is amazing. Any chance I could take her out this weekend?” Without even the slightest amount of hesitation he asked if he could take my wife on a date. I scoffed and said “good luck with that, buddy”.
He waited until she was close and then asked her if she wanted to go to dinner with him on Friday night. She said “sure that sounds like fun”. He responded with “I was thinking just you and I”. She looked at me and then back and told him again it sounded fun. I said “what the hell?” She just turned to him and told him she would talk to me about it and would let him know. Not only did he ask, she said yes.
We got in the truck and she instantly hits me with a “hear me out” explanation. I’m still shocked about what just happened. Her thinking is it is just as friends and he doesn’t want anything. I disagree about 2000%. She doesn’t think he would have asked me first if he was trying anything else.
Last night we went to work out and he was there again. I was steamed the whole time but I tried to keep my cool. After, they flirted again. I could tell she was into him and it was more physical than she would admit. I walked over to them and she says “I told him we talked and Friday is good”. I just walked away. When she was ready to leave she went over and gave him a hug which probably got to me more than anything else.
She told me that she had decided she would get dolled up, go have a nice dinner and that would be it. I was overreacting completely.
Tonight is the night they are going out. I don’t know where or anything. I know we are lifting this afternoon, and then she’s going to get ready to go out. I set my iPad up so I get her messages and haven’t seen anything. She talks to her best friend about everything and told her she was going to dinner with a friend. Part of me thinks I’m overreacting. Part of me wants to go crazy. I am a push over with her, so even if this was something I should worry about I don’t know what I would even say or do. Needless to say tonight is going to be shitty. I have half way thought about following them but not convinced that’s a great decision either. Either I am crazy and overacted or it’s really what I assume it is and I end up seeing something happen. Neither is a great option.
I am also confused at whether I’m angry or turned on. The whole thing is fucked up.
Update: We are both getting off early to discuss the whole thing. Not sure what changes but at least it will be in the open.
Update 2: she came home and we talked about it. Whole conversation wasn’t even five minutes. Short version- Yes she’s sexually attracted to him and it feels like one of those times in life she would regret passing on. I followed a fellow redditors advice and asked what they talked about when I wasn’t there. She said they talked about his gym routine, his supplements and she even asked if it helps him in the bedroom. She said he replied by telling her he is quite well endowed and excels in the bedroom. I asked if she planned on sleeping with him. She said straight up that it was on her mind and she hadn’t ruled it out.
Immediately after our conversation she text her best friend and told her that we talked and she was honest with me. Her best friend asked if she was still going to go out and she said absolutely. Her best friend told her what dress to wear. My wife then told her that she asked if he would notice if she didn’t wear a bra and panties. Her friend said he absolutely would notice. Her reply was good.
So there you have it.
Update 3: She decided it would be better not to go to dinner but wants to invite him over. I told her that if he does, he is an outsider. This ain’t a him and her thing. It’s an us and him thing. I’m willing to see how I feel about it if it’s done slowly and respectfully. I don’t know if he’s coming tonight or later but the date thing isnt going to happen.
Update 4: Probably last update. I told her that she could go if she wanted. I made it clear if she went it was over and I would be filing for a divorce. She said this was something she needed to know. So she’s out now and I’m drunk and I need a lawyer. She texted her friend what we talked about. Her friend said if she needed to know then so be it. Last update text she sent said he had his hand on her thigh at dinner. Turns me on and tears me up at the same time. She has text me to make sure I know she’s safe but no details.
Update 5: she text her friend because they are going to his place
Update 6: too long to explain but she’s home. She text her friend during and it seems nothing happened. He did a work call (at 1130pm?) and that was it. He text me from his own phone (she gave him my number?) saying he wouldn’t do anything with her if I said no. I said no and apparently he respected my wishes? She did text her friend that she rubbed his dick from outside his pants on way home and she almost got off from it. Also not sure how that works.
Her and I talked during and I asked questions but all of the answers basically defaulted to she was going to sleep with him if he made a move to. When they got to the house he got out and let her out of the car and then hugged her. His hands were completely on her ass and her dress was riding up so you could see her ass. You could also see he’s massive from through his jeans. I’m going to smoke some weed and go to bed because my life is so fucked up right now. To those supportive of me thanks for being good humans. For the assholes, fuck you.
Update 7: we have talked a lot about everything today. Honestly don’t think anything has changed but I think it’s more out there in the open now.
I told her where I stand. I think the whole situation could be fun but it seems to be happening without any concern for me. She says she honestly can’t explain what it is about him and that it’s driving her and she’s scared of missing on something and regretting it. I asked at the end of our last talk if knowing how I feel she would go about it different. She said maybe a little bit not sure how. Also said she still thinks she would sleep with him if he tried.
She text her friend about how she was feeling. She sounded a little more remorseful but that could be me reading it differently.
She knows I posted this anonymously to Reddit. I told her I had to vent and she gets it.
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/ieqbsn/sharing_wife_against_my_will_mf_m_with_updates
Sorry man. This is really disrespectful of her.
Honestly man… even if you guys are fine with him joining you based on her clear inconsideration of your feelings… if constantly be worried she’d cheat anyway.
Also… if she does anything please please don’t take her back after she fulfilled her wants. Because she would be leaving a sure thing for lust.
Don’t get too down… it’s fucked and you’ve approached it the best I’ve ever heard… if it were me all her shit would be in the driveway.
Msg if you need.
Keep ur head up
Since she knows you posted here she will for sure know what you know and how. FYI. And if she reads this, please post your side or hit my inbox up. Not to sound shitty but I think her version has a totally different vibe.
Man, that sounds fucked. She has no respect for you whatsoever, and you need to get rid of that toxic shit. Even though it’s going to be fucking terrible you dont want to get dragged along in this. Unless there’s a clear understanding of open relationship (which there isn’t) this is not okay. I don’t know much about divorce but proof of her being unfaithful could well be useful
Seriously bro… She’s being too stubborn here. It looks to me like she’s only thinking for the short term. Does she really understand the consequences of her actions? How it’s affecting you? How it could affect your relationship in the long term? That she could end up losing the marriage and you? What others(relatives, other friends etc.) may think of her? I’d tell the man to stop with his advances and go fuck off especislly now that it’s becoming very uncomfortable to know about it. I’d tell the wife that she’s either gonna stick to me and stop meeting with the man, or go to him and leave me forever. That she shouldn’t just go with the flow if the man decides he wants to sleep with her; she absolutely has to NOT sleep with him if the man decides he wants to(unfortunately, given her behavior, she’ll most likely still sleep with him). If she really loves you and takes the marriage seriously(which, unfortunately again, doesn’t seem to me she is), she shouldn’t have to sleep with him just because it’s probably a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence; I’d make it clear to her that we’d be done the very moment she does exactly that because doing something that could be a recipe to a failed marriage, especially when I’m not in favor of it is way beyond my boundary. I’m fact if I were you right now, she’d have lost my trust already; I’d be discussing with a lawyer a divorce right now. ? It just seems to me they’re pretty much taking advantage of your missing presence/”obliviousness” of what they are doing when she’s with the man with what she’s texting her friend. It seriously makes me wonder how exactly people get the audacity to do that. ? I’m so sorry that you have to experience this. If things go for the bad road, just know that there’s several redditors here who’s willing to talk to you to help you cope with the results. ?
Do you know is she read this yet? I have so many questions for her.
I get a bit from this post you might cave and just let it happen and forgive her. You seem to hold her on a bit of a pedestal (talking about her looks etc) even though she is acting like a jerk. Hope you stick to your guns and do what’s right for you.
I have this acquaintance, who was in a relationship with this girl, who, in my opinion, was not good enough for him (she was… not exactly the most charming person, let’s just say that), and one day, she flat out told him that she wants to sleep with other men and it’s either he accepts it or breaks up with her.
Him, being completely over the heel for her, he said yes to her, even though he never wanted an open relationship / sharing in a first place. And me, as his friend, is still fucked off by the fact that the bitch got STD outside the relationship, and “insisted”, yes, that bitch actually told my friend “I insist”, that he fucks her raw, even though she knew she had STD, and that’s the only way she would sleep with him.
They were together for years, and as the time passes by, I could see him getting worse and worse, in terms of his own happiness and his self value.
Fortunately for him, he found an incredible girl, who, from what I’ve seen, is the nicest girl, and the most supportive person on earth and he broke up with that bitch.
He told me that he didn’t know why he stayed with someone who made him feel like a downright garbage and he’s so happy to be with someone who respects him as a man, and as a lover.
Honestly, don’t put up with someone who puts their interest ahead of yours and have no respect for the relationship.
P.s. I’m not saying that the open relationship is bad. I am just saying that for a relationship to be open, both people needs to be comfortable with the idea, and from what I gather, you aren’t, which I completely understand. So, if she’s going to be have selfishly and be like that, make sure you do something about it too.
Dude, if you don’t have kids, you have no reason to stay in this relationship other than she is hot and you are afraid to move on. But here is the ugly Truth: she knows you are out of her league and it will only get worse if you decide to have kids. she will make you her bitch if you stay.
So here is my advice for you: weather or not you want a divorce, start ACTING AS IF YOU WERE ALREADY SINGLE. Women respond to confidence. And if you want to become her bitch, then embrace it and act as if you were FWB.