Sharing wife against my will? [MF] [M]

My wife [27] and I [28] have been married almost four years. We started dating in college and got married a little while after I graduated.

She has a good sized following on Instagram and 99% of what she posts is from our workouts, whether it’s CrossFit or hiking or whatever. I will be the first to admit I married way out of my league. I will never deny that.

We have worked out at the same gym for a while now. Lots of old faces but some new ones every so often. Not a lot of people stick with CrossFit but there’s always a new person willing to try it out. On Monday, a new guy showed up. The guy is in incredible shape, and he’s a freak because of his size. He’s probably 6’5” and I’m guessing 245, but that’s a guess. He has nothing but muscle on his frame.

After we worked out he took a liking to my wife. She openly flirted back which 100% caught me off guard. I walked over and she introduced me as her husband. He told me she was amazing. I agreed and we went our separate ways. I made a comment about him flirting with her and she just laughed and said it was cute.

Fast forward to Wednesday. We worked out again and they talked after for a minute and then we all started cleaning up the room. Then he shocked me by asking me “I know we just met but your wife is amazing. Any chance I could take her out this weekend?” Without even the slightest amount of hesitation he asked if he could take my wife on a date. I scoffed and said “good luck with that, buddy”.

He waited until she was close and then asked her if she wanted to go to dinner with him on Friday night. She said “sure that sounds like fun”. He responded with “I was thinking just you and I”. She looked at me and then back and told him again it sounded fun. I said “what the hell?” She just turned to him and told him she would talk to me about it and would let him know. Not only did he ask, she said yes.

We got in the truck and she instantly hits me with a “hear me out” explanation. I’m still shocked about what just happened. Her thinking is it is just as friends and he doesn’t want anything. I disagree about 2000%. She doesn’t think he would have asked me first if he was trying anything else.

Last night we went to work out and he was there again. I was steamed the whole time but I tried to keep my cool. After, they flirted again. I could tell she was into him and it was more physical than she would admit. I walked over to them and she says “I told him we talked and Friday is good”. I just walked away. When she was ready to leave she went over and gave him a hug which probably got to me more than anything else.

She told me that she had decided she would get dolled up, go have a nice dinner and that would be it. I was overreacting completely.

Tonight is the night they are going out. I don’t know where or anything. I know we are lifting this afternoon, and then she’s going to get ready to go out. I set my iPad up so I get her messages and haven’t seen anything. She talks to her best friend about everything and told her she was going to dinner with a friend. Part of me thinks I’m overreacting. Part of me wants to go crazy. I am a push over with her, so even if this was something I should worry about I don’t know what I would even say or do. Needless to say tonight is going to be shitty. I have half way thought about following them but not convinced that’s a great decision either. Either I am crazy and overacted or it’s really what I assume it is and I end up seeing something happen. Neither is a great option.

I am also confused at whether I’m angry or turned on. The whole thing is fucked up.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/ie2vyv/sharing_wife_against_my_will_mf_m

30 comments

  1. It is indeed. Turned on yep. If they do the deed, you will either hate her guts or have some of the most mind blowing sex you have ever had.

    For me the latter….

  2. Brother this was way disrespectful and selfish. Out of your league in looks does not equal do anything she wants. I would suggest making plans to leave her. This won’t end well.

  3. I think I’m just going to follow them somehow. If something happens at least I’ll know the truth

  4. You’re being a push over for sure.
    She acted like she didn’t even need your acceptance.
    Be the alpha male bro.

  5. You need to have a frank, but calm, discussion with your wife about your boundaries. You’ve told her that you believe this guy believes he’s taking her out on a date; she doesn’t think that’s the case, or at least says she doesn’t. As you say, there probably isn’t a good reason for him to have asked you about it first if that wasn’t the case.

    If you have no reason to distrust your wife there’s nothing to be worried about here. Either she has made an innocent mistake, or you have. If you don’t trust your wife, then you need to ask yourself why not, and if your reasons are valid, you then need to ask yourself whether this relationship is worth your contunued attention. There are a great many kind, loving, and trustworthy women out there.

    You also need to know that it’s perfectly OK to be turned on by the idea of your wife having sex, even if it’s not with you. Even if it’s especially not with you. That doesn’t mean you’re comfortable with the reality of her having sex with other partners. It can be incredibly hot to think about, and be something that you don’t want to experience. Hell, it can be something that you want to experience, and even give your blessing to, and then change your mind about. I gave my partner my blessing to see other men, and it was hot as all fuck getting texts from her the next morning from some other guy’s house. But eventually I decided I wasn’t comfortable with it anymore. She stopped sleeping with other people immediately, and things have been good. It still turns me on like nothing else, but I’m just not in a place mentally or emotionally where I can handle the reality of it right now, and all of that is OK.

    All you can do is talk to her. Let her know how you feel. Then she can at least make some informed choices, and you can make some of your own in return. You can’t stop her from sleeping with this man if that’s what she’s decided to do, but you can tell her that you’re not ok with it if it happens, and you can (and should) end the marriage if she violates your boundaries.

  6. Not okay, on any level. If she goes, she should come back to all her shit on the curb.

  7. His intentions are clearly not good and she could be in a potentially unsafe situation that she doesn’t want to be in. Or she’s into it and that’s disrespectful to you. You should probably get a friend or someone else to follow her since they wouldn’t be as recognizable and won’t potentially have as much of an emotional reaction as you would. Then they can get photos/proof if you need it down the line but also you don’t risk you being caught and having the you don’t trust her conversation. Maybe it really is as innocent as it sounds…although I’m sure it isn’t if you can’t come.

  8. Forgive me for asking this, but have you two ever talked about/experienced sharing before? I have that relationship with my husband, but it wasn’t instantaneous. Seems to me she went 0-60 awfully fast. I just don’t see it making sense unless 1. Sharing has come up before and she feels this is that type of scenario, or 2. She really does think it’s innocent.

    Also, have you asked what they talked about before while you weren’t with them? That might reveal quite a bit.

  9. I mean…you posted this on gonewildstories. If it’s true, I think it’s safe to say that you’re finding this scenario really hot. In which case, let yourself enjoy it.

  10. The problem is yours. You keep approching this like a sissy. You shouldnhave initially told the giy to go fuck himself. You didn’t. From how you tell the storry you have pitter pattered all around telling people what you think and fell. She is wanting you to lose ypur shit and prove to her she is stil important to you. You should have a frank discussion with her and tell her how you feel. Let your anger show, don’t over do it, your not being mean just showing how you feel. And on all honesty I’d tell the guy the answer is no. Tell him to fuck off and not to comr back them gym. Be willing to start a fight over it, you might get your ass beat, but be willing to show this guy, and your wife, that you are willing to fight for her, if necessary, literally.

  11. First move any joint money to a private account then start fucking all her friends and then meet some more online. What’s good for the goose… oh yea, start talking to a lawyer about divorce.

  12. Next time try saying if you hit on my wife, I will fuck you up next time! You left the door open for him to ask! Dummy!

  13. Kinks between couples are only kinks if you both agree on it and want it. Doesn’t sound like you’re comfortable at all or even like it. Which ends up sounding a lot like abuse.

  14. Dude you gotta divorce your wife right now. This is not normal behavior, you’re being taken advantage of and your wife is selfish and cruel

  15. I’ve been watching this post and trying to figure out what to say. I hope this works out for you. Have you asked her if she’s ok with you seeing other women as well? If not then this whole thing doesn’t sound fair to me.

  16. If you don’t want to share your wife, talk to her and be 100% about your feelings and the boundaries she’s crossing. I don’t think you’re comfortable with this situation. But hey it’s your life, I wouldn’t put up with this if it were me. FOH with that.

  17. Are you testo testis? Are you so tied up in your lifting that it is affecting your testicles and your libido?

    Some of serious lifters testes shrivel and they have practically no libido and no time to even stop and think about having sex

  18. That’s tough man.. I can’t even imagine how that would feel… You have my sympathy…
    My wife and I have made a deal… That she can explore her own sexuality in terms of women… 2 rules only

    1. I Don’t need to know details.. But I want to be informed if she is talking to someone and if they plan to do anything.
    2. It cannot affect our sexlife… Meaning if she Gets stimulated and has no need for sex with me… That’s a no go

  19. For my relationship I try and live by the rule of “If I wouldn’t want my wife doing this then I won’t either.” I hope she does the same. Communicate how you’re feeling in a clear way. Make it obvious. You need to find out what you want and what hard boundaries are. If she crosses them once she’ll cross them again. So make sure she understands what your hard boundaries are and if she does cross them that she won’t be able to go back to you. Then you need to stick to those boundaries. For now I would start to seriously think about what you want to do next and how you would do it. If you are thinking of divorce start making sure that you have everything you need to live without her help. Also. Make sure you get an ironclad separation agreement that you’re able to pull out and have her sign. Make sure to have multiple copies as well. Take care of yourself first. Toxic people aren’t worth the stress even if they are family or spouses

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