Before I get started please keep an open mind and if you don’t like my perspective or POV please ignore this.
My mom was 17 when she got married to my 29 year old dad. My dad came from a well off family , had a stable job(government jobs are valued high in India) also my mom had 4 sisters(which is seen as a burden in India by fathers) . So my grandfather thought it would better to get my mom married off soon, and made my mom quit studies in the middle of her education(she was very good at studies,she was a topper in her district)
Since my mom was good looking, my dad’s family agreed to get her married to my dad. My mom’s family wasn’t financially stable so her in laws never really respected her much, always used to take digs at her on how she’s lucky to marry rich.
It obviously must have hurt her a lot, a woman who wanted to study higher become a teacher someday and all of that was suddenly snatched away from her and was being disrespected by her in laws on a daily basis. My dad was working in army and he was stationed at a remote place so he had left my mom at her in laws place.
So my dad decided it was not good for her live with them. He took her with him to live with him, he also tried to get her back to studies. But it was not easy in india to continue studies in a new state when you did all of your studies in a different state(its like studying English your whole life and then asked to do your graduation in Spanish).
So time passed they had a baby when my mom was 19. She was again off loaded to her mother’s place for paternity and other stuff. 3 years later I was born and when my older brother turned around 5-6 years… My grandmother(father’s side) asked my father to leave my brother with them(it’s not uncommon for grandparents to raise thier grandkids in india) since it would be difficult to travel around with 2 kids throughout the country. She had 6 kids of her own so when all of them got married and left she felt lonely or something I guess.
Somehow they left my older brother with her and we moved around according to my dad’s job.
When he got stationed at border, they decided that it’s better me and my mother move back to our hometown. So we moved back although my brother chose live with my grandparents.
I was around 9 when we moved to our hometown. By that time I moved around 5 different schools. I was never able adjust to constant moving around, I was never able to make closer bonds with my friends. By the time I was 10 I did not even have a single friend… I turned into an introvert. I was always kind of sad with all the changes happening around me and really connected with anything.
When I was 10 my dad was stationed at a hilly region, while he was guarding a post there he slipped and fell. He died at 43 years old, his body fell into the valley and was washed up by the river.. We weren’t even able to recover the body. Several efforts were made but to no success was found.
My dad was strict person, I never really bonded with him. He kind of was always absent in my life. So after he was gone I was pretty devasted, growing with out a father is tough. It made me more introverted, I started to eat up my feelings. I can’t even imagine what was going through my mom.. Since he was an government employee we were given certain money from the government and my dad had made several good financial investments which meant we could survive financially without much difficulty.
My father’s parents almost blamed my mom for his death. Since my mother’s family was quite poor, they themselves had thier own problems. So as a single parent with a kid who almost went quiet and wouldn’t speak to her in a society that banished her and a widow at the age 31.. She took it all in herself…
So it’s been tough but this is not why I am writing this post. I’m not gonna bore you with my sad story. I guess everyone had thier own set of problems.
So as I mentioned above I joined a new school at 11 years old in my hometown. I made my first real friend of my life.. He was an extroverted person, flamboyant, flashy kid who seemingly came from a rich family. He was very confident, talkative and all that. I was smitten by him
I became friends with him, more like he made me his friend. I wanted to be more like him..
He would make me get out of my buuble, force me to be go out more.. Be more talkative, be more social.
Would force me to talk to girls… You know all that stuff.
I think being friends with him made me come out of my depression and I started to feel happiness for the first time.
I started to feel hope in my grim life (I know there’s people with worse life than me but it’s just how I feel about myself)
Since they were rich family he would always add me in thier plans..They would accompany on vacations and other functions
I probably enjoyed things with them that I only imagined in my dreams because of our tight financial situation. As time passed we became more close and he became a common sight in our house..
Slowly he started to become more close with my family. He was constant presence in our house… He was obviously a bit spoiled too.
Since there weren’t any male figure in the house, he started to take dominance on the things that weren’t able to perform by my mother. Since I was a shy and stupid kid, him being around helped my mom a lot. She enjoyed him being over and he helped out her a lot.
He was a big flirt,he wouldn’t miss a chance to flirt with women. He was always a lady man. He was very popular in our school, girls wanted him. He was everybody crush.
As he became more close with my Mom, he started to flirt with her. At first it was just innocent flirting like
You look good today, Aunty
The food you made was awesome
Wish I get a girl like you in future
Why didn’t you remarry, you look so young
Are you sure you’re in your 40’s ..because you look 20 to me
He started giving my mom pet names to her and would only address with those names.. Sometimes it was funny and sometimes it felt like he was a crossing a line.
But there was no one in the house to stop him from crossing those lines.. So neither my mom nor did I say anything.
By this he was a big influence in my life, although I was someone who kept my feeling to myself, with him I didn’t feel the need to be shy. I admired him a lot and saw his a brother figure becuase the biological brother that I had was not interested in me or my mom. He was completely distant from us, its been decades since he has spoken to us. My grandmother is doing a pretty good job of that.
My mom enjoyed my friends company, they would chit chat for hours. She would be blushing, laughing having all sorts of fun while she was talking to him. I could see a sense of relief and happiness in her eyes when he was around. He gave my mother a feeling of security or more so a feeling of someone being there for us and someone to lean on to. He was so matured for his age, at a young age he had an impact on our lives.
Whenever he would sleepover at my home. My mom and him would be up till late night discussing random things.
Obviously for an outsider it would seem like what would a woman in her 40s and a teenage boy have in common. But they could go for hours, chatting on for hours and my mother would turn into a teenage girl in front of him.
Growing up introverted, my mom had to take up all the responsibilities of the house. Even when I was a grown up I was not ready to take up responsibilities.
I was just shy to go out or talk to people. I just didn’t consider myself to be a man.
So whenever there were issues regarding that, my mom would call my friend to get it sorted out. And he would comply to it without any hesistation.
Slowly as a family we were becoming more depended on him.
So as things progressed, we would go to movies or malls together. He knew all the happening places around the city.
Usually whenever we made plans all three of us were involved in it. If I didn’t want to go, my mom would cancel it. But slowly going out to movies, or strolling in the park chitchatting was becoming a 2 person thing from 3. person thing. They would go out to movies and sometimes not even ask me since I always made excuses to, avoid social life.
I never had a problem with my Mom enjoying her life, but I statred to feel that she cared more about him than me. She was more concerned about his well being than me. Not that I felt jealous or anything she still did care for like a child and showed no form of ignorance towards me I started to feel that her affection towards my friend was now more than a friendly one
His parents did not care much about him hanging out with me… They considered me as being a good mannered child and him being a rich spoilt brat. It made it easy for him make an excuse to spent time in my house. Sometimes he would sleepover at my house for 2 days at a stretch. So all the time he was spending with my Mom thier parents thought he was spending it with me…
Usually Indian women after being a widow don’t dress up, wear nice clothes, or even try to look good. People always give this degrading looks sometimes when they see a widow enjoying her life..
But he changed that around my mom.. He would take her out for shopping, force her wear flowers..
I actually saw my mom being happy for the first time in many years.
He obviously had his presence felt on her.
A lot of the times he would accompany her to our family functions and ceremonies because I just hated social gatherings.
So he be at a moments notice when my mom wanted him.
He would take her out movies every week, sometimes even cancel hanging out with his cool friends or his girlfriends… He was a popular kid.
As we moved up in our studies, we joined same colleges or more so he got his father to get us best colleges.
So when we reached into college he was already a beast by now. Any girl would fall for him and that’s when I realised that my mom saw him more as a man than a naughty little kid. My mom wanted an opinion from him on every thing. He was turning into the man of the house.
The first time i felt that he had in turn become the man of the house was when I had decided to write the NDA exam and all centre in city was all filled out so I had choose a city from another state. Although I never really intended to join the army, I just wanted to write it and be alone for some days in different city hoping it would make me more responsible or Atleast self dependent. I asked my mom that can I travel to another city on my own (it might be a big issue for you guys but imagine an introverted shy antisocial kid asking that)
My mom didn’t say no, all she said was ask my friend, if he agrees I don’t have problem. I was taken aback by that, she was my parent and she wanted an outsiders opinion and I didn’t like it.
So she asked him and he agreed and made the reservations for me and all the other arrangements. In short my idea of becoming self dependent meant my over reliance on my friend. But I did like that there was male figure who took care of my responsibilities.
He obviously felt like an alpha at the time, I could see a smirk on his face.
Soon in college, my hormones kicked in and I started getting attracted towards women. But I was just too shy to go around and talk to them. Also I am not an attractive person. On the other hand he was a well built 5’11 muscular handsome guy.
So he would use that to get me dates with girls, help me to get a Gf and stuff.
As things moved forward, I found my mom uploading pictures of them on what’sapp status far too often. Her saree started to expose more of her mid riff and her blouse more of her cleavage. They would be playing games around in the house. He would flirt with constantly with her and it had reached a point where it didn’t matter if I was present or not. He would make comments on what she should wear, where she would wanna go thsi weekend
So his parents had got a piece of land on the outskirts of city and built a lavish house for themselves so they moved into thier new house
The house was almost 40km away from the college, so it would take him a couple of hours to reach it..
So sometimes he would just crash at my house.. After college nd soon my mom started forcing him to stay at our house. He started to stay over for a week on stretch without going back. My mom and also me finanlly convinced him to stay at our place instead of traveling everyday 80km. His parents really appreciated him living with us. They even offered to pay a certain amount for his food and stay.
So it’s been a year and half since he has moved into our house. Things have changed drastically in the house now. ..
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/idsx7t/my_sophisticated_indian_mom_and_my_best_friend_m
Well, it’s a good thing you’re writing it
But try keeping it short.