So I recently had my first ever pro massage, and I loved it, so relaxing, felt great. That was about a month ago. So I’m out running errands today, and I see a massage sign in a local sleepy strip mall, and think, why not! I’ll treat myself! So I go in and the lovely little asian woman, in broken English explains the hourly rate for a massage, and I ask her for an hour and a half (treating myself remember) and pay her in cash. She seems thrilled, not sure why, but not asking questions either, and leads me to one of the quiet, nicely appointed rooms, gestures to where I can place my clothes, and sets out a towel for me. I get undressed, don my hand towel across the backyard, and get comfy until she gets back. Massage starts pretty uneventful, although it seems like she’s being more sensual than committed to moving muscle, then as she’s working the glutes, she grazes the boys. I don’t think much of it, not like they tuck in or anything, and damned if I’m laying on them, but then it happens two or three more times! Less and less accidental as they go! So I think to myself, “Self, I think she may be testing the waters before a full swim, should we let her know these be friendly waters?”, to which I reply in my inner monologue, “Yes, I think that would be prudent at this juncture.” So I let out a bit of a moan, not a good muscle spot moan, but not a being deepthroated moan either, somewhere in the middle, somewhere subtle. She obviously caught my intention, and her hand immediately slid up and round the base of the fellas and back out. Ok, yup, this is actually happening, another subtle pleased moan is coaxed out, and she transitions from massaging my body, to massaging not only my squished package, but the back door too!
Now I’m no prude, I enjoys a little attentions beings paids to mys buttsholes, so I’m in heaven here! This goes on for a little bit, and I start lifting the backend up off the table to provide a little access, and relief from a very cramped erection. She continues right along with her skilled trade, breaking occasionally to rub a leg or back muscle as if to continue the thin veil presented by the sign out front. So I get ballsy, metaphorically speaking, well I guess a bit literally too, and ask if I should turn over yet. She replies with a very soft asian whisper of, “You may turn over when you want to finish.” Welp, guess who did.
So i tell her I’m ready, and she asks me to wait a minute. Steps out, and comes back with a hot towel to de-oil me. And she was thorough. Backyard was HOA ready let me tell you! I turn over and she immediately notices I’m pierced (in the nethers) and takes hold of my partner in crime, asking if it hurts. I tell her no, it’s perfectly fine, so she lets me go, and returns to her oil pump thing. From that point forward, there was no way to misinterpret her intentions. She performed one of the most skilled oil-aided handjobs I have ever had the pleasure of being a part of! At one point I had to check for a third hand as I didn’t think it possible to reach so many pleasurable points simultaneously! As I neared climax, she began a little light dirty talk, whispers really, and obviously for my sake not hers. When I finally came, I lifted off the bed the orgasm was so strong! She looks at me and quietly shushes me as she keeps skilled hands moving, driving me insane! Once I was able to breath again, she cleaned me up (carefully too, that was honestly so nice) and leaves so I can change. She returns with a bottle of water and smiles politely as I drink, then in her whisper voice, mentions something about a tip. Now I’d have tipped her for the massage alone, but this little lady got extra.
So yeah, that’s a thing that happened to me today, never thought it would, but here I am, oily and satisfied with a stuffed crust pizza. Hope you enjoyed the read!
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/hdfycg/just_had_my_first_trip_to_a_rub_n_tug_by_accident
Hot damn. Planning on going back?
Prices please!
Yeah that’s what you get at a shady massage parlor !
I will add, that she wore a mask, as did I, and she followed proper hand hygiene followed by fresh gloves. Was nice to see.
I love the Squirrely Dan line.
Brilliantly written
Upvote for the letterykenny reference
r/unexpectedletterkenny