We [MF] were a bit out of control at the nudist beach.

Hello all, it’s been a while. Lockdown and shit. Not had much fun. But here’s my latest adventure.

A quick note of warning: This will probably be long by most standards, with a lot of random detail, as I tend to do, and rattled out quickly with no regards for spelling or grammer.

Another quick warning: This story will include the consumption of illegal substances, breaking of lockdown, extremely disrespectful treatment of nudist etiquette and shocking acts of public indecency.

Now without giving away our location let me say, we live in a frigid place, the kind of place where winters are long and actual summers happen about once every two years, if you’re lucky. We spend most of our days complaining about the weather and plotting our escape to warmer climes. But when the sun does come out and temperatures rise, man, you just enter this state of ecstatic fucking bliss and you walk around with a stupid smile on your face and all you want to do is drink fruity ciders and smoke cigarettes. And fuck, obviously.

So as it turned out me and my girlfriend were both off on the day that lockdown was eased and sunbathing was allowed, with the caveat that we both had shit to do. Like, she packing to move house in two days and that sort of thing.

I was sitting at my desk, plugging away at a book about some Elven prince breeding a castle full of women and looking at the sunshine outside and going WTF? WTactualF? Long story short. Very short in fact. I messaged my girlfriend.

“Beach?”

“Yes!”

“I’ll pick you up in 30.”

Snacks in the car, towel, sunnies, water, drugs. Check Check check.

And there I was waiting outside her house. I hand’t seen her for a while and when she walks out in this thin clingy skirt I’m already fuuuck, watching her hips move. I love her body. She’s so small and willowy and has this tiny waist and these amazing hips and these amazing boobs. And it had been a few weeks. (As I said, busy.) And it was sunny and hot. And.. Fuck.

So off we go. Driving, playing beach boys on the radio. She’s sitting next to me looking all hot so obviously I lift her skirt and feel her up a bit to pass the time and start the process of make us torturously horny. Isn’t it funny how when you’re horny the only conceivable solution to your predicament is to get even hornier

“So what beach should are we going to?” She asked.

“The one where they have the nudist beach?” It was the obvious answer.

“The one where we went on our bikes and ended up fucking in the sand dunes?”

“Hmmm.” I smiled a knowing pervy smile. “That’s the one.”

“You gonna fuck me in the dunes again?” She asked cockily as her hand found it’s way to my shorts and found them stretched tight already.

“What do you think?”

We were in agreement.

We got there pretty quickly, parked the car inconspicuously and were on our way, hiking through a nature reserve. Obviously with regular stops to make out and grope each other indecently.

“I brought some GHB.”

“No!” her eyes were sparkling. “Oh yes!” She added with a bounce.

Now let me take an educational moment for those of you who are not in the know about GHB. It isn’t the most profound drug, it is in fact rather similar to alcohol in its effect. Except it makes you horny, stupidly horny.

To quote Dale Pendell: “Offering someone GHB is the opposite of saying you have a headache.”

So take a drug that lowers your inhibitions and makes you horny as fuck and you know something interesting is likely to happen. We take it at parties and jokingly say “G and see.” Usually half an hour later people are fucking in every corner.

It’s definitely not a drug you want to be taking if you’re likely to have regrets about their slutty behaviour. But if, like me, you’re the kind of person who goes on Reddit to tell everyone about it, well, than GHB might well be your guy. Or girl. Or probably both, at the same time, already at it.

So we’re walking along the beach at this point, making our way to the far end, the naked end. We’re complaining about the people. “Why are there never any hot people at beaches in this country?” My girlfriend said.

“Fuck knows. They all stay home I guess.” I shrugged.

“I’m not saying only hot people should go to the beach. But surely it’s not too much to ask to have a few?”

I’m pawing at her ass again at this point. Like most points. It’s feeling particularly good today and my hands can’t stay away.

“Yeah.” I agree. “Like, there could at least be a representative sample of the general population.”

I groped her some more and added. “Anyways, you’re here.”

“We are.” She said and smiled at me, a big beamy smile.

And then suddenly, as if they appeared by magic, we saw some naked people. And by that I mean like.. two people sitting separately and some kids running around.

“Ah I guess they were camouflaged with no clothes on.” I observed as I looked at a women who was, well. Boobs… Like..wow.

“She’s pretty hot.” I pointed out.

“Oh good.” My girlfriend added, having a long look herself. “Where should we sit? Over there?” She pointed further along the beach.

“Ahm… How about there?” I pointed at an empty spot next to boobs lady.

“I don’t know there’s babies nearby.” She pointed at the two naked children that looked about eight years old and were milling about at some little tent thing a bit further down.

“They will behave. They’re nudist babies.” I said. “Besides, I think that spot will be most sheltered from the breeze. I want to be hot.”

“Ahhhmmm” She hesitated.

“Common you wanted hot people.”

“Ok then.” She smiled.

So we went to the proposed spot. Towels out, clothes off. And dear people. It was glorious. So warm, so fucking nice. Just..fuck. We were high already. Just on sunshine.

So first things first. We took some G. I was going to be driving that evening and I wanted to make sure I could well and truly metabolise that shit before I got behind the wheel.

Next: Ciggy. Then: Sunscreen.

Now we were ready.

We rolled around, literally moaning with pleasure just from being naked in the sunshine. She was looking stunning. ..Oh my god. Let me tell you. Her skin all brown and her body all toned and athletic and those wide hips. Fuck. I know I’ve already said this. But can I just say it again? I love her body. Love.

That’s when the babies dad decided to get up. My girlfriends jaw just dropped as she stared past me. “Oh my god.” She mumbled.

I followed her gaze and he was like… imagine James Bond, that last one, all beefed up and but with a big fucking schlong swinging back and forth lazily between his legs, like it has real weight to it you know? He was strutting around slowly, asserting his dominance over this beach to the new arrivals. And I was all good with that. He could assert his dominance in any way, as long as I got to watch.

He sort of wandered around boob lady, slightly too close to be polite, checking her out.

“Oh my god, that’s so bad.” My girlfriend gasped. “That’s totally against beach etiquette. Is he going to chat her up?”

“I don’t think beach etiquette applies to him.” I said. “Look at him.”

But he didn’t actually, chat her up. He just sauntered back to his tent thing with us staring at his perfectly spherical backside.

We sat around chatting about James Bond Daddy, slowly starting to feel the buzz creep in.

“Are those his children?” My girlfriend wondered as she watched the two brown kids fuck about with something in the sand.

“Maybe they are just like… feral children that live here. His offspring, left behind by the women that he fucks here.”

Then I lost my train of thought when boob lady decided to get up and walk around doing some nondescript beach shit like shake out her towel or whatever, but with her bigass torpedo tits now proudly on display. Wow ahm… what the fuck.

Now just to be clear, I’m an active guy that likes girls that can do badass physical shit, so I tend to be more attracted to sprightly athletic types. But there is a certain aesthetic appeal to a woman with curves. You know, I can’t help it. It’s wired into my manly genes, when you see tits like that some cave man ancestor starts talking to you in huffs and grunts that might not make much sense to your conscious psyche, but your testicles… oh they understand.

So here I was blatantly staring at boob lady, who might as well be called ass lady, and wondering how the laws of physics seem to have passed her by. I mean, Newton must have seen a sight like this and felt the pull of gravity and realised something about massive dense objects.

Had we just walked onto some kind of porn set or was this actually like… for real?

“Oh my god, they should totally fuck.” My girlfriend said behind me.

“I think we should all fuck.” My caveman ancestor said, while I was still trying to tear my eyes away. “Or.. we can just watch them go at it.” I said as a consolation in case I was being too pervert.

“They can watch us.” My girlfriend huffed. “I mean, we’re hot. Let them come and watch us fuck instead.”

“Sounds good.” I mumbled as I succeeded in finally turning my head away only to be confronted with my girlfriend’s naked hips. They were beckoning my hands to grab them and pull them to me and…

“Maybe we should take a trip into the dunes?” I offered, hopeful.

“Nahhh.” She said with an evil smile. “Let’s wait a bit. We can go to the water maybe?”

She can do this. She’s very good at it in fact. Wait, and tease and wait. While I slowly go mad to the point of hearing voices, urgent huffs and grunts reaching to me through the millenia. Sometimes she will literally just keep saying no until I lose my shit and caveman me just drags her to my bed by the hair and sport-fucks her so hard she will need plasters and ibuprofen for days to come.

“Ok.” I grinned, not wanting to show my desperation. I mean, I was fine. Sure I hadn’t had sex in weeks and I was naked on a beach on the hottest day of the year, surrounded by people that were so hot their appearance could single handedly raise local fertility rates, wherever they went. And ok, yeah I had just taken the strongest aphrodisiac drug known to man. But sure… I was fine. No problem. I can wait. Ha ha ha.

I did however, have a boner. Like full blown, glossy head boner, that periodically bobbed up and down when I twitched whatever that muscle is called involuntarily.

“Is that a problem?” My girlfriend pointed at my cock, which, in response, tried to twitch and grown towards the magnetic field caused by the proximity of her hand.

“Don’t think so.” I said. “I mean, it’s only natural, right? We’re all nudists here, comfortable with our bodies. Right?”

I read up about this later by the way and no, unless you’re at Cap D’agde beach, it is considered polite to put a towel over your boner. But instead I stood up, rather unsteadily, and walked down to the water. Me, my girlfriend, and my erection.

It wasn’t busy though, so it wasn’t like we walked straight past people, or like, I grabbed it and waved it at old ladies or used it to hit a lost beach ball back in the direction of some bewildered children. No one really saw it, I think. Unless they were looking.

And the cold water sort of helped. I was soon back to only half inflated. So basically baseline, sort of. With only the occasional surge when touching, well, groping, my girlfriend, which I did frequently.

The water was fucking cold though. My girlfriend did a brave dip but all I managed was a loud squeak when the water reached up for my balls and I was out in no time.

However, I was happy to stand by and watch her cavort around in the water, looking all tan and bleached hair and tiny waist that I can almost close my hands around.

It was when we were walking back that we made a very unpleasant discovery. The dunes were heavily populated by tan naked men, evenly dispersed in the high grass all contemplatively staring at the ocean like meerkats on holiday. I suddenly remembered the little note on the nudist website that said about this beach: “The dunes behind the beach are often frequented by gay men.”

Well no fucking shit, they had come out in numbers. So if we were going to fuck there we’d have an audience of wanky older men. One that would probably offer to help. Now I am not afraid of the gays, and I’m happy to help one out if they are my friend and they are in need and I’m on GHB, but a random wrinkly stranger? Not really into that.

Also while we were walking back we realised that boob lady was moving her towel towards the Bond family and consequently away from our spot.

“You see? She wants to get fucked.” My girlfriend diagnosed the situation.

“Yeah she’s probably ovulating.” I added.

That, or she had overheard our filthy chats about her and , combined with the fact that I then got up with massive erection after obviously checking her out, this made her decide to move away politely.

We came back to our towels and lazed around doing ooohs and ahhhh and commenting every two minutes about how this was the best day ever.

We basked in the sun, made out and lathered each other in slick gloopy sunscreen, massaging each other’s backs with wandering hands.

Another couple popped out of the dunes and sat a bit further up the beach. Not super close but probably close enough to make out a cylindrical object, roughly 8 inches long and 2 inches wide if they looked in the wrong direction.

“Fuuuuck.” I groaned, frustrated. “Couldn’t they like…sit a bit further?’

Nonetheless my head was buzzing and my balls were throbbing and me and my girfriend kept touching each other and we ended up lying on our sides facing each other while she stroked my cock, which was now testing the tensional strength of human skin, and my fingers were making squelchy come hither movements inside her.

We were at this point both in a frenzy of horniness. Losing our shit, basically.

“Fuck I want to fuck you.” I groaned.

“Fuck I want you to fuck me.” She moaned.

“Should we just do it?”

“Just right here? Ohh fuck…maybe we should.”

We were dying. And definitely being denied access to heaven. And probably rightly so, considering the fact that we were contemplating fucking right there in the open, surrounded by random strangers.

Then cockblocker couple got up and walked away.

“They’re leaving!” I whispered.“This is our moment!”

“You gonna fuck me?”

“Turn around.”

The couple had literally only walked about ten steps away from us by the time I was sliding my cock into her from behind. Right there on the beach. I looked around as I tried to move slowly and not make it too obvious.

The Bond family was quite far away, off somewhere in the distance. Boob lady was fucking about on her phone. I chanced a few good pumps, sawing my cock in with long wet strokes.

No bells started ringing, no god rays and no deep booming voice came from the heavens to berate us. We were all good. So I fucked her some more. It was fucking glorious, we were sweaty and slippery and she was wet beyond belief and I was hard beyond belief and holy fucking fuck we were fucking finally fucking fucking.

Then a wrinkly old man descended from the dunes. In retrospect maybe that was God, but he didn’t strike a very impressive figure with his brown saggy belly and his nubbin, and those weird fucking sneakers. But he did however, in typical God style, ruin our moment of slippery bliss.

I sort of stopped fucking and held still, as if that would make any difference. And as the guy wandered past and I gave him a friendly nod we pretended we were just like, cuddling and I didn’t, in fact, have the head of my cock pushed firmly against my girlfriends cervix.

Old man sort of milled about, probably waiting for us to start going at it again, but when he saw that we weren’t budging he walked away a bit further and started meerkat gazing down to the water. At which point I had already resumed slowly railing my cock into her oily backside.

We did that for a while but we were being too conspicuous and slow to really get somewhere with it. It was just more torture in the end, however delicious. And then our neighbours decided to show up again and we were denied even the torture.

We sort of sat up trying to look decent and fussing about gathering bottlecaps, tobacco pouches, lighters and our wits.

Never mind the wet, glistening erection. We were being decent as far as we were concerned.

“Shall we go to the water?” I asked.

“Sure!”

I got up and while my girlfriend milled about sorting our things I randomly wandered off to quickly take a look in the dunes to see what the lay of the land was there. E.G. If there was scope, despite our misgivings, to go there have a proper fuck.

I climbed up the sandy slope, which, even at the best of times is difficult to do gracefully, but when you’re pretty buzzed and also, by the way, naked, it is just a bit of slapstick really. Luckily the clumsy activity sorta kinda had a positive effect on my flaccidity. Which I guess I should have considered before walking into the gay men’s paradise, alone, naked.

So yeah. Men, a lot of men. Even more men.

As I appeared more heads popped up from their respective dips in the grass to check out the newcomer. They all stared at me. And I stared back awkwardly. One flashed as the sun reflected off of his cock ring.

We all stared for a long and really weird moment and then I turned around and did the meerkat thing, staring down at the beach and the great blue beyond. While, no doubt, they all ogled my ass.

I watched my girlfriend from a distance, for a split second I saw her as a stranger would see her. And yup, she was still fucking hot. Did I mention how hot I think she is?

And wow, I was just fucking her right there, somehow thinking we were being circumspect.

It was a thought I probably shouldn’t be having if I was to walk back onto that beach, and past torpedo lady, without looking like I had just tried and failed to have a wank up on the dunes behind her.

Anyways, my girlfriend was staring at me, bewildered, wondering what the fuck I was up to so I sort of half slid, half dropped down the sandy slope again, coming dangerously close to being within pervert range of boob lady, who was still on her phone and didn’t notice me burning holes in her tits with my eyes.

Life was becoming a little bit too much for my frazzled brain, and a walk in the fresh air was definitely welcome. We walked through several dips with progressively colder water. We said hi to a fully clothed lady who was just out for a walk and who luckily couldn’t see the inside of my drug addled, sex crazed head. And then we were in the sea.

I felt braver this time. Or hotter. Or just more confused. But I actually dipped into the cold water and swam about three strokes, punctuated by high pitched squeals. The cold, I hoped, would help me get my horniness in check. And it did. For like, ten seconds.

But then I was stood there again with the glorious sun on my skin and my girlfriend cavorting around in the water with her tan skin, all glisteny and all nipply.

Naturally I checked to see if anyone was near at this point. We were quite far out, my mind had decided, you couldn’t really see what was going on at the edge of the water from where everyone had their towels.

To our left there was a couple cavorting around, just far enough so you couldn’t really make out their faces. To our right there was a woman sunbathing closer to the water. At a similar kind of distance to us.

I wanted to cavort too so I went back to my girlfriend in the water and we cavorted, like a lovey dovey couple in a vodafone advert, you know, bright white smiles, and flowery sarong trailing in the breeze kind of thing, except we were naked and, rather suddenly, my girlfriend was bent over and ambitiously trying to fit my whole cock in her mouth.

I checked around me. The sunbathing woman was sitting up looking in our direction, the couple, well I couldn’t really see what they were doing but I decided they didn’t mind. In my defense, I did check at this point if the feral Bond babies were around and they were nowhere in sight.

So I turned my girlfriend around, bent her over and unceremoniously pushed my cock into her. We fucked a little bit like that, literally in plain sight, on a public beach

“Oh… fuck. Are you sure?” She asked.

“I’m sure it’s fine.” I told her, and myself, while I pushed into her harder. “No one is watching.”

We fucked like that for a bit. Unfortunately, she is fucking tiny. and I’m pretty tall, so fucking while standing up isn’t easy. Especially when there is nothing like… someone’s car or the fencing around a DJ booth to lean against.

Instead we had waves crashing into us. So no… we tried to stop and go back to Vodafone moment. We ran around in the cold water and laughed. We were tan, or at least she was, and our teeth looked good. We were…pretty close… Except for the permaboner thudding wetly against my belly button while I ran.

So fuck that short lived attempt at being normal. I plopped down in the surf. Lying down in the warm sand with the waves lapping at my feet. It was quite glorious, lying there. And I started to stroke my cock to the sight of her.

She walked out of the sea, swingy hips and big. cheeky smile all over her face. And I swear everything went slow motion from here.

I checked around me one more time and the coast was clear. As in, there were no children nearby, pointing at us in horror and asking daddy what those people were doing.

Back to slo-mo-moment. We had now entered a different kind of tv as she walked all that hotness over to me and stood with her feet on either side of me. I looked up at her against the bright sky and slowly stroked my cock. Then she squatted down slowly, I held my cock at the right angle, and she sighed down onto me in a long wet slide movement that made fireworks go off in my head and a choir started singing an adagio in my cock.

All incriminating evidence now safely hidden, we could technically stay like this. Just stay still and look like we were just having a romantic moment. We could kiss and stare into each other eyes lovingly while tenderly brushing the wet hair out of each other’s faces. And to be fair we did all those things.

While she gyrated her hips obscenely, stirring her insides with my cock.

“Anyone watching?” She panted in my ear.

I looked around.

“Yup.”

With that she leaned back on her arms and started fucking for real, sinking down on me with wet slaps. My hands were all over her, trying to get more of her somehow, but never quite managing to get enough. I wrapped them around her waist, pulling her down on me hard, I pawed her breasts, I groped her ass, her hips. The waves were coming in and crashing on us while we fucked and the whole thing was starting to look hilariously like a porn movie. A very fucking hot porn movie.

And fucking hell it felt amazing. All that skin and the water and well, the fucking obviously.

The couple that was closest had now also sat down and it looked like they were getting it on.

“I think we’ve inspired them to start fucking too.” I observed.

“Of course, everyone should be fucking.”

We fucked until we were out of breath. No orgasms were in store, those tend to come later when we get home and relive the whole thing.

“Fuck..enough.” She mumbled, and crawled off of me to flop down on her back in the sand.

“Nooo.” I complained.

“I can’t do this anymore. It’s just too…” She didn’t finish because I crawled between her legs and started going down on her. She crooned loudly as I feasted on what was possibly the best sensory experience of my life. Her taste, combined with the salt water were making me delirious. But I wanted to fuck her more so I crawled up between her legs.

“Nooo.” She was laughing and crawled away from me. “Let’s go back to our stuff.”

“All right.” I mean. I was happy.

As we got up and started walking we realised that really our towels weren’t that far away. We hadn’t quite been aware that the tide had made the beach much smaller as time went by and that effectively, we had been there, fucking each other’s brains out, in clear view of everyone in a our little row of nudists.

Oooops. Ohwell

Miss Torpedo was actually walking towards the water. “She was probably just coming to watch us fuck.”

Mr Bond could be seen in the distance, running down the beach with his feral children, looking like he could be towing a small car for all he cared, without even noticing.

The cockblocker couple that was sat slightly too close just looked at us with whatever mix of judgment and secret admiration people have.

Walking back we could also see that the gays were now clumping together in little groups. Some still looking out over the water while others bobbed their heads up and down at crotch level, barely hidden by the grass. It looked like there was a right orgy going on over there. And I must say we felt a sense of kinship. Even if the orgy we had imagined didn’t look all that likely anymore.

It was unfortunately, time to start sobering up. The next few hours were spent smoking ciggies, drinking water and eating snacks, while we topped up our tans, kept up a low level teasing and just generally basked in the sunrays and general good life feels.

No one else fucked. Not even mr Bond and and Miss Torpedo. In fact she left early ish, leaving Bond despondent and sexually frustrated. So all in all it wasn’t that exiting.

And soon it was time to go. It was quite a hike back to the car, and annoyingly, the cockblocking couple that had sat next to us kept up the good work by walking right behind us the whole way. We did find ourselves scanning the bushes for somewhere to finish off the day, and each other, in semi private. But unfortunately we didn’t find a good spot. And to be fair, we were pretty sluggish feeling at that point, and maybe lacking in motivation.

“Maybe we can fuck in the van when we get there?” She offered. But I pointed out that it was going to be boiling hot in there, and opening the windows wouldn’t really be an option because we were literally parked on the high street.

“Oh…” She pouted.

The rigours of lockdown life. In all our attempts to satisfy our urges, all we had achieved was making them worse.

But hey, we had an amazing day, definitely one to remember, and therefore it seemed fitting to take some time to write it down.

It was also the start of our lockdown staycation, a couple days later we moved in together. We had another gloriously sunny day the next week and went back to the same spot. Interestingly, Mr Bond was there again with his wildling kiddos, and this time also his lady. (Not that one)

That whole day was glorious too, albeit with less of a horny red haze hanging over the beach.

The night before was the first time in four months that we spent together, indoors, in a bed. So we spent the whole night fucking, letting all the built up frustrations of the past few months come out. My cock felt like someone had driven a truck over it. And her spine was a bit fucked from the rough handling and she was struggling to even move.

So all we managed that day was to limp to the beach, have cuddles and enjoy the sun. But that is also good.

All in all It’s been an amazing holiday. And I hope you enjoyed reading about our exploits once again. I asked my girlfriend how she felt about me posting this and all she said was: “Love it. Go for it. You can use my real name, and maybe add some pictures too?” I love her. :)

One last disclaimer about drug use: Educate yourself. GHB in particular can be dangerous. In the same way that crossing the road can be dangerous. You can do it your whole life and be fine, or you can be an idiot about it and get yourself killed in the blink of an eye. So please: Educate yourself.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/gz2kl5/we_mf_were_a_bit_out_of_control_at_the_nudist