My name is Marc, and this is a story that happened more than 20 years ago, when I was 18. After years of having this in my head, I decided to write it down in this journal to immortalize it. I don’t think anyone will ever read it other than me, but if you are reading, and you’re not me, then I hope you enjoy.
Rebecca and I became an item over time, and very few knew about us. Our close friends and my parents were starting to realize something was up, so I thought it was better to just tell them. Why it is so secretive, I’ll tell you later. Rebecca had long, curly dark brown hair that fell just past her shoulders. She has smooth brown eyes that I just can’t help but stare at. She is on the smaller side, maybe 5’4” and thin. Her hips show some shape to them and so does her chest, but they only tease what is to come. Also, she is very conservative. That, you can blame on her parents.
Although I’ve never really met them, I have seen them when they pick her up from school. Why have I never seen them, despite dating Rebecca for 4 months? Rebecca told me they would flip if they found out she had a boyfriend. This, of course, makes our relationship strained. We can hang out at school, but we don’t have any classes together. After school, her parents pick her up most days. The only exception to that being on Fridays. Our school has a short Friday schedule, which lets us off nearly 3 hours earlier than usual. Her dad works a 9-5 job as a mechanic, and her mom works until 3:00 as a maid. This means that the roughly 3 hour gap between school and her getting picked up is usually filled with us hanging out. But that creates another problem: location.
We can’t go to her house for fear of getting caught and my house is an hour bus ride from the school, so it wouldn’t be worth it. The only reasonable option left was to hang out in a park near our school. Every Friday after school we went to that park and sat on ‘The Bench’ talking, sometimes doing things together. The Bench was just what it sounds, a bench. It had a metal artistic framework with two slabs of wood on the bottom and the back which were around the height of my upper back when I’m sitting down (I’m roughly 5’9”). They look hard, which is why no one else sits on them, but they are actually quite comfy, and very remote. The park extends into a natural forest (which extends far past the town borders) which The Bench faces directly. The park is also shaped in a circle, and since this is on the edge of it someone would have to walk all the way over to The Bench to see who we are.
This story starts on The Bench, where both her and I were staring pensively at the forest. She leaned her head on my shoulder, and I put my arm around her. She was leaving tomorrow; this would be the last time I would see her. We had just picked up our report cards from school, but grades were the last things on our mind. I couldn’t believe what it would be like without her, without this little routine that meant so much. I wished we could come to this park every day for the rest of our lives. But no matter what I wished, this was the last time. This was the final goodbye, the hardest to say. So instead, we just didn’t say anything.
I looked down at her face. She was sad, it wasn’t hard to tell. Her face was painted with dread, and all I wanted to do was erase it. But if I tried, I would spill my dread onto her face. So I just sat there, rubbing her back. I leaned my head above hers. I looked back up at the forest, as if it had the answers.
We had only an hour left before she would be picked up, and she was leaving tomorrow. Her family insisted on going to Switzerland as soon as they could. Rebecca was going to take college there, and her family was overly worried about her adjusting. I squeezed her a bit tighter to me. We could hear the people walking in the park, but it seemed far away. Even the swaying of leaves seemed farther than the ten yards it was from us. I heard a sob break out from her. I looked down to see a single tear pioneer its way down the side of her face and onto my shoulder. I closed my eyes and found they were ready to cry as well. I tried to hold back, but as I heard Rebecca gently sobbing underneath my head, I couldn’t help it. A tear fell from my eye directly onto her cheek. Then another closer to her nose. We didn’t cry like a river, more like a leaky faucet, our time leaking away. Her phone buzzed in her back pocket and she struggled to keep against me and reach it. I reached over and pulled it out, looking at it.
“Shit.” I said, breaking our silence. “Your mom says ‘Just got off work early, be there soon.’” I read off her phone.
“Tell her okay.” She said.
She stopped crying, enough annoyance in her mind to dampen the sadness. I unlocked her phone and was very surprised by what I found. She had a tab open of a paused video, which would be normal, except the video was porn. I looked at her out of the corner of my eye, seeing her in a different light. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think porn is wrong. I’ve watched more than I care to admit, although I wouldn’t admit to any of it. It was a surprise because this innocent girl whose parents don’t even want to date watched porn. She started getting up so I closed the tab and got to messages, responding with a simple ‘Kk’ like Rebecca would. I handed Rebecca her phone as she sat up.
She grabbed her report card from under The Bench and headed off. I was a bit lost in thought, not wanting to think I wouldn’t see her again. She turned to the back of The Bench, took a step, then turned around again. She was crying.
“This is no way to say goodbye.” She said. “With me having to rush off. Meet me here, midnight, tonight.”
“But it will be closed off.” I said.
Due to a gang being caught here in the night a while back, they closed it off with a chain-link fence they used to keep animals in (there were a couple of coyotes in the woods).
“Just climb it, I need to be with you one more time.” She said, trying to keep her voice steady but failing. Before I could respond, she ran off.
I left the park slowly and started my long bus ride. Suddenly it felt different now that I could see her again. Like we were stealing time, somehow beating the system. It wasn’t as hard somehow. The first thing I did was I made sure I wouldn’t forget to meet her. That was easy enough, thanks to the alarm on my watch. Then I thought about what I had found on her phone.
If I were to make a list of the most likely people to watch porn, she wouldn’t even be on it. Though she hated how strict her parents were, this wasn’t about rebellion. No one would know about it. I guess that hormones and horniness ignore who you present yourself to be. I had thought about sex with her, but in the same way you think about what you’d do if you win the lottery. But I guess it could happen now. Not really, just because she watched porn doesn’t mean she is a sex hungry beast. But what do her sexual desires matter now? Tomorrow, at this time, she’ll be across the ocean. Gone from me forever. I can’t even contact her; we ruled out texting and digital contact because it was too easy to find out. But now she was going to leave my life.
I didn’t think she was that big of a part, to make my cry like I did. I never cry, I just don’t react that way, and even when I want to cry I stop myself. I didn’t cry when my grandma died a year back. In all fairness, that was expected; she had been sick for a while. Although this was also expected, we knew this was coming for months. Yet, despite that, I cried. And so did she, which was also uncharacteristic of her. I hadn’t realized how much she had changed me, and I her. Everyone says that the first time you fall in love, it isn’t real, but this was pretty damn close.
I did love her, as much as I could understand love. I loved her body, her small, young face and innocent, happy expression. Now, it was sad. I loved her personality, her optimism, she was always determined to get the best out of every situation. But this situation only had a worst. I loved the way she walked, how she sat, the sound of her voice, how she talked, the way that if she was embarrassed by something she would start fiddling with her beautiful hair. I would never see that again. I was heartbroken; heartbroken that I would never see her again, heartbroken we would never sit on that bench with her, heartbroken that others would sit there, or worse, take it away not knowing what that really meant, heartbroken thinking that one day, I will look back and not remember her, not remember the park, out bench, our love. Heartbroken that one day, she might forget me. That she would forget The Bench, the park, my face, our love. Suddenly, the sadness was back, just as strong as ever. What did it matter that I would see her again if she was still going to leave? But I still wanted to see her again, that I knew. Just like that, I arrived home.
I got off the bus and got to my house. I went inside to see my parents wearing fake smiles for me, knowing Rebecca was leaving today. They both hugged me, and I hugged them back. But at the moment, I just wanted to be alone. I went into my room, closed the door, got on my bed, pulled the covers up above me and hid like I was a child. There I sat for a while, thinking about anything other than her, trying not to think. After some time, I was awoken to the sound of a knock on my door. I wasn’t asleep physically, but my mind seemed to try to isolate itself from the present. I stayed under the covers.
“Hi.” My mom’s came softly and comfortingly. From what I could hear, she’d entered the room. I could hear an object being placed on my dresser. “Whatever me or dad can do, tell us. We love you, so much.”
“I-” I started but nothing came out.
I was on the verge of tears. I didn’t want her to know I was about to cry, so I stopped talking. She closed the door. I could imagine what happened. My mom probably was cooking whatever she brought up, and my dad thought that they should call me down. Then my mom would say I need some time alone, and convince him to let me stay up here. But she still wanted to bring me food. My stomach gurgled at the thought; I was hungry.
I got up out of my covers and went over to my dresser. Man, the air out here was fresh, and cooling. I didn’t realize how hot I was under there. My mom had cooked some stuffed chicken, my favorite, and arranged it nicely with potatoes and peas on the plate. She even brought me a can of pop, something she normally discouraged. I grabbed it and started eating. I ate it all and drained the last of my pop, placing back on my dresser. I laid down and pulled the blankets up to my chin. In no time, I was asleep.
I woke with a start. Did I miss meeting Rebecca? I checked my watch. It was 10:30. I hadn’t missed it. I realized I didn’t have anything to do, other than be sad about Rebecca. I decided to head out to the park early. I opened my door slowly and crept out. My parents were asleep by the looks of things. I grabbed a key and my bus pass, then quickly put on my shoes and a jacket. The front door creaked slightly when I opened it, but nothing stirred. I headed out and locked the door behind me.
It was a good night, it was warm save a small breeze that made it ever so slightly cool. The sky was lit by stars and a half moon. How could the weather be good when everything in the world was bad? I got on the bus and nearly fell asleep. I just couldn’t keep my eyes open. My watch alarm went off and I woke up a couple stops from where I wanted. I hopped off the bus and meandered to the park. Still sleepy, I managed to climb the chain link fence and get over. I went to The Bench and sat down. God, I was tired. I decided to close my eyes and wait till Rebecca got here. That’s all it took for me to fall asleep again.
I woke up to something in my face. In fact, it was touching my lips. I opened my eyes to see Rebecca’s beautiful face right in front of mine. Regaining my senses, I realized she was kissing me. I moved my hands to the back of her head and kissed back. It was an oddity for us to kiss, so I cherished the moment. She eventually broke off the kiss. She started crying.
“Why?” She pleaded. “Why?”
“Why what?” I asked, putting an arm around her. She laid in my lap.
“Why do I have to leave? Why do I have to leave you? Why does this hurt so bad? Why do I have to love you?” She turned and faced away from me. I caressed her hair, again not wanting to cry.
“It’s okay.” Was all I could offer, so I repeated it. “It’s okay. It’s okay.”
“I don’t want to leave you.” She sobbed.
“I don’t want to leave you either. But right now, we are together.”
She turned back towards me and hugged tight to my waist. She was still bawling heavily. I didn’t know what to do. What could I do? Everything won’t be okay, everything isn’t fine, we won’t make it through this. This is final, this is it. The end. This is our vain last stand. I bent over her protectively.
“I love you. I love you so much.” I told her. I was the only thing left to say.
“Stop it. Stop saying that, please. I wish I didn’t love you, then this wouldn’t be happening. I wouldn’t have to go through this much stress, this hurt.”
“Do you really wish you didn’t love me?” I felt a bit taken aback, but I still tried to be calming.
“No, No. I want to love you forever. Let me love you forever. Why can’t it be forever?”
“We can love tonight.”
“Then let me love you tonight.” She sat up. Her crying was subsiding, her face still freshly stained from them though.
“You know.” She started in a whisper. “I- I thought tonight- tonight we could, do something. Something, something, how can I say it?” I tried to encourage her with my body language. “I want to know this isn’t just a thing, that this is lasting. That this is love.”
“We love each other.” I said.
“But I need to feel that, not just hear it.”
“I’ll do anything you want.” I reassured her. I meant it, with every part of me.
“I don’t know, I don’t know how to say this. I- I- I don’t know. I- I want to make love with you. You know, s- sex. I want to have sex with you.” She looked me dead in the eye. I hugged her tight.
“You don’t have to, it’s okay. I know you love me, you know I love you.” I thought she felt pressured into it, that she had to do it. I wasn’t going to let out last time together be filled with something she felt forced into doing.
“Yes but I want to do it. And I want to do it with you.”
“We can’t, you could get pregnant.” The dwindling part of my logical brain said.
“I’m on birth control. I took it in case…”
“You don’t have to, I love-”
“Yes but I want to, I want, to have sex with you. Please, please let me do this.”
I looked in her eyes. They were so hurt, so broken. I had to do this for her. I knew she truly, honestly wanted it, and I did too. I grabbed the bottom of her shirt and lifted it up. She put her arms up to help me take it off and I discarded it on the ground. She took her shoes off and I unbuttoned her jeans, taking them off as well. She got her socks off then proceeded to take off my shirt. Next she pulled down my pants and I got my shoes and socks. She slowly reached to her back, and I could hear some movement. The straps at the back came forward and she hesitantly let her bra slide off her arms. Her breasts were gorgeous, a bit larger than I had thought and very round. Her nipples were small pink mounds crowning them. My boner was at half mast, but would be fully erect in no time. She raised her hips and hooked her panties, pulling them down and discarding them. I could see her small pussy between her legs. It was cleanly shaven and no more than a small slit. She seemed to be actively stopping herself from covering up. She looked me in the eye.
“C’mon, it awkward being the only one naked.” She blushed.
I pulled down my boxers, pretty hesitant myself, and put them aside. My boner was fully erect now. Her eyes gravitated to it; it was about average size.
“You’re so beautiful.” I told her. She looked up at me again.
“I want you.” She told me.
I grabbed her shoulders and half tackled her so she was lying on the bench, with me on top of her. She immediately put her hands on the back of my head and pulled me into a kiss. I could feel her breasts against my chest and my left leg ended up between her legs. My boner pressed against her hip. I reached down with my left hand and found her pussy. I touched it and she produced a small yelp, but only kissed me harder. I started rubbing the outside of the lips. She was getting wet and her nipples were erect against my chest. She was softly moaning into my mouth. I slid a finger between her lips and started to rub her there. This was wetter and warmer than the outside, and she seemed to like it better. Trying to summon up what I knew about pleasuring a girl, I spread her lips and started rubbing around and on the clit. Her moans were getting stronger. Her hips moved a bit with me.
I put my right hand up and stuck it between our chests. I started playing with her breasts, focusing on the nipples. She enjoyed this more. I decided to take my middle finger, the one in between her lips, and bend it a bit. I repositioned my wrist and found her opening. I slowly got the tip of my finger in. I kept going until I hit a barrier, what must have been her hymen. I stopped and retracted my finger, waiting until it was almost out to slip it in again. Her walls pressed against my finger, but she was wet enough it slid easily. I continued like this and her moans became louder. Her hips moved faster, and her breathing was quick. They all escalated up into her orgasm. She moaned loudly into my mouth, but didn’t break our kiss. Her hand clamped down on my back, and her hips bucked. My finger was constricted tighter than before, but I still tried to keep fingering her. After a bit, her muscles all relaxed, and her arms fell off my back. She broke our kiss and caught her breath.
“I want you in me.” She said. I was still hesitant.
“I want you so bad, please.” Her face was mangled by emotions, the remnants of her sorrow mixed with the newly passed pleasure and the present lust.
I sat up and got one leg on either side of the wooden planks she was resting on. She moved her legs so they were on either side of me, then put them on my back and pulled me closer.
“I want you so bad.” She said.
“I want you too.” I replied.
I rubbed my shaft up and down between her lips a couple times. God, that felt good. Now that my dick was lubricated, I poised it at her entrance.
“Do it.” She said quietly.
I pushed my tip in, parting her warm, tight walls. I had to push slowly, and right after getting the tip in I ran into her hymen. I looked up at her and she nodded, bracing herself. I put more force in and pushed through.
“Ahh.” She exclaimed when it broke. She followed is with a quick request to keep going.
I slowly pushed all the way in, filling her. She let out a throaty sigh as I got fully inside her. I withdrew it slowly, almost drawing my penis completely out, then slowly put it back in. I thrust in and out, in and out, in and out, getting slightly faster each time. I was in heaven. Her hips met my rhythm, slowly helping me in and out. Her moans were becoming quite evident, soft little signs of her pleasure. She put one of her hands on her nipple, squeezing it a bit like I had done. We kept going at it for a while. She looked so innocent below me, so fragile. Her body a slave to her emotions, her emotions a slave to me. Her eyes closed, her face contorted, her mouth letting out helpless moans. I started thrusting harder. It felt so good to be inside her. I knew I was close to cumming, and judging by her moans, she was too. My back was tired so I leaned over and put my hands beside her head. Now I was staring at her face as we made love. I knew I was on the verge of my climax and she let out a stronger moan. She came, and her legs constricted and pulled me deep into her. Her walls also pulled my dick in as far as it could go and milked it. That is what set me off, and I could feel my balls draining.
I grunted as I started gushing warm cum into her. Everything became slow in my mind. The noise of the trees stopped. The air on my back seemed to disappear. All I could feel, all I could hear, all I could smell, was her. It was amazing. Both our orgasms subsided and I came back from my land of ecstasy to the real world. Her moans had subsided and my dick fell limp from her vagina. Rebecca started crying under me.
I put my arms around her and held her, and she wrapped herself around me, squeezing me into her. She didn’t fully cry, but she let out many struggled breaths and sniffles. Her eyes shed tears, which once again traced lines down her face. I realized I was crying too, tears forming at either side of my face. I could not stop them from falling, landing on her. There we laid, from pleasure to sorrow in an instant. My brain shut off, so I couldn’t tell you how much time we sat there. All I knew was that, at some point, we ran out of tears. We sat there sobbing without them for a time, but then our crying slowly subsided.
“Please.” She said. “Please, I want to do it again.” I opened my eyes and looked into hers, seeing clearly the longing that I’m sure she saw in mine. I became aware that my boner had come back.
“Of course.” I said.
I started to sit up and she got up from under me. I sat up fully but she pushed me down the other way, onto my back. I lowered myself down and she got on top of me. She straddled my erection and positioned her pussy over it. She lowered herself down but missed her entrance, my dick sliding up the front of her slit. She raised herself up and tried again, putting my dick once more inside of her tight walls. The leftover cum helped as lubrication and she fit me inside her. She sat down fully then started moving her hips in circles. That felt amazing.
After some of that, she started moving up and down on my dick, and every time I was fully in her she would moan. I started moving my waist up to meet her as she went down, and we slowly increased the pacing. After a while we were nearly slamming ourselves against each other, her moans getting louder and louder. She leaned over me, putting our chest together so she only had to lift her hips every time. I grabbed her ass and moved it up and down, thinking she was getting tired. Her pussy walls tightened again and she moaned loudly by my ear, her second climax of the night. I frantically thrust into her as her hips kept moving, quickly orgasming myself. I filled her pussy with my warmth again, still pumping with all my strength. Our orgasms stopped.
She got off me and started putting on her clothes again. So did I. We walked together to the exit, too cried out to start crying again. She climbed up the fence, then I followed. On the other side we kissed each other passionately. She held my head to hers and I put one hand on her back, the other one on her hips, pulling her body into mine. We broke apart.
“I’ll always remember you as my first time.” She said.
“And as my first love.” I replied.
“Me too.” She said and hugged me tight. Her mouth was at my shoulder and I could feel her breath.
“I’ll miss you.” She whispered to me.
“I’ll miss you too.” I replied.
She walked away and I just stood there. She turned a corner to her house and I looked up. Clouds had taken the sky, so I didn’t know what time it was. I got the next bus and rode home, again fighting off sleep. I woke up from something close to sleep as I arrived at my stop. Approaching my house, I could see the lights in the living room were on. I found the door was unlocked and headed inside to find my parents looking worried. They both came and embraced me.
“We’re so sorry.” My mom said. They must have guessed why I had left. My dad didn’t say anything but was on the verge of tears.
“We love you so much.” My mom said.
I cried some more in their arms, realizing the finality of the situation. Eventually my parents let me go and I headed to bed, not bothering to change. As I fell onto my bed, I felt a small crackle of paper in my back pocket. I never use my back pockets, so I was interested. I reached in and found a small slip of paper. All it read were 10 digits, and I almost screamed with joy. I immediately went to my phone and texted the number.
‘You still up?’ ‘You got it! I can’t sleep’ ‘What about your parents finding out?’ ‘It will still be worth it’ ‘I love you’ ‘I love you’
I never did see her after that night; eventually I found another lover and so did she. But I haven’t forgotten the park, nor the bench. And I know I will never forget her love, and I will never forget that night.
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/gz27cq/parting_gift_mfinnocent
Very nicely done ?