Until I started doing it for the camera, I always had complete control of every aspect; what I felt, how I felt it, what I watched/read while I pleasured myself, and I’d make sure I was to a good part when I climaxed. Being a virgin, I never had anyone to take any of that control away from me.
Then I got a prostate vibe, and I started to understand the appeal of losing control.
Took me some time to work up to inserting it, I’ll tell you that; I’d always get nervous and chicken out whenever there was any resistance. But after lots of lube and lots of breathing, I managed it.
Although it’s a fairly small toy, it felt huge at the widest point; I was about ready to give up, because being stretched open for the first time was, although not painful, bordering on unpleasant. But then I passed the widest point, lube and elasticity took over, and my own body pulled it down to the hilt in an instant.
And when it slipped into place and I felt it nestle against the back of my p-spot, I knew I was hooked. I always considered anything anal to be “too violating” for me, but it *was* violating, in the best way.
I finally get what women mean when they talk about that “aching emptiness,” but now, my “straight” self was feeling it satisfied for the first time, and I loved it. That pressure from within coaxing hitherto suppressed desires to the surface of my lust-addled mind.
I was crouched there, back slightly arched like an animal in heat, shaking in pleasure, and I finally remembered that I hadn’t even turned it on.
*Click* OH SHIT, OH FUCK
Flashback:
Years ago, I dreamed I was a woman using a vibrator. Apparently my still somewhat hormone-crazed brain made a decent facsimile of the female anatomy. I felt the vibrator rest on my labia and clit, and I slipped it a little lower, parting myself and slowly started inching it inside. Every millimeter of depth was an electric current arcing across my core, and it drove into me with agonizing slowness. The pleasure was unbearable and toe-curling, so I relaxed and plunged it deeper…
… And I woke up gasping, thrusting my hips in the air with abandon, and spurting cum uncontrollably in what would be the best orgasm I would have for years. I was still half-asleep, and not a little confused about what I’d just experienced, but the unfathomable pleasure of that sensation stuck with me, and I’d been on-again off-again chasing it ever since.
Back to the present…
That first moment when I felt what I’d been missing is burned into my memory. I craved nothing but to fulfill that all-consuming ache.
For the first time in my life, I *wanted* to be **fucked.** I wanted to keen in ecstasy as I was filled and emptied over and over, my whole being reduced to a single, lust-drunk desire to be taken and used. Until I could think of nothing but the next stroke brushing my p-spot and sending me over the edge again and again.
It took me months of further playing around to finally get a proper prostate orgasm; I actually posted the video of that wonderful session publicly. And it fukken rocked my world. It was every bit what I’d felt all those years ago when my subconscious teased me with the possibility of pleasure from being penetrated.
And since then I’ve experienced that full, raw sexual bliss only about three or four times; it’s a delicate balance, and requires some willpower to resist the urge to cum too soon and ruin it. Many attempts result in failure, although it’s still a delight even when I miss. My libido has increased tenfold, and even mere hours after release, I find myself flushed and unfocused, a small precum stain appearing on my lap as my half-erect cock anticipates the next round.
I now spend hours a week in front of my camera, debasing myself in the most undignified of ways, spurred on by the thought of others watching me, and gratifying themselves to my twitching, moaning ecstasy. Perhaps they imagine me inside them, or themselves inside me, depending on anatomy and preference.
I don’t much mind either way, just please *god* enjoy me.
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/gyk4mc/ill_make_a_manwhore_out_of_me