**Therese**
I am now a concubine.
The destiny I sense not only when I romp around in bed and as a reward I can snuggle behind Vincent´s arm, becoming another of his cushions. In the days after arrival I live as a blank slate accessory he is guiding and showing new corners of the Tower, sometimes… Sometimes are these too beautiful to exist in a jail, where they tell you the worst kind of women is the best. I can´t have enough of male company, when we are reading with them about trees on the sign boards in the park. I infect Vincent with emotion produced by squirrel mother with her young one riding on her. His mandate on the walk is enumerate his personal trouble and I am suggesting fervent lamentations along with thoughts on solutions.
They rearrange my soul to his mage on the cultural trips, small exhibitions of his taste in art and short excerpts from movies or TV shows he watches. The key is not liking it, but agreeing with him convincingly. Premises of the minigallery wouldn´t be out of the place in the Louvre.
Other parts are ugly as sin.
Cane manufacturing is honest handiwork and it is employing the mind and the body. The paralyzing effect makes the mockery of that once it is over and the humble bees leave the workshop with the flawless stings. We were kneeling in the gymnasium naked, presenting the canes in our open palms. Many wardens tested the newly acquired option right away. When the group was doing push-ups, my bottom was one of those they hit and it was like if knife slashed my skin. For the love of God, people are doing this to children?!
When we are crammed into dungeon, the gilt is gone, this is the kingdom of sincere amorality. Before the first mass underground session we were chanting names of our masters silently, eyes closed, limbs stagnant in the seat promising the worship of anyone, who is not wearing the strap harness. It is a pagan and moronic.
Nowadays, we are ordered to sleep in dungeons time from time. In the cage I pray every conscious moment. It should be the first thing on my mind after waking up. One morning they foiled my usual inner consolidation by opening the cages downside and throwing us to the cold water.
I didn´t found out, who had such an excellent idea, but I will never forget the master who didn´t let me to crawl back to the cage the other day. The classical fellatio is discouraged here, because it gives us means to attack. He fixed me to the wall and I was licking his long stake of flesh, my teeth secured by the mouth spreader. After the cum he said I was so natural that I will sleep that way too. Try to recite of Our Father bound, your mouth forcibly open, aftertaste of semen impossible to get rid of.
Beyond the beauty and ugliness is our room. The best features of the transitionary station are my new friends. We don´t have to talk, seeing the other faces means entering the home.
The lunch couldn´t come soon enough, stomachs of our little nation were rumbling in unison. The heads were full. Courtesy of wardens, who brought a package at an earlier time. We opened it and scattered the five contraptions.
“Chastity belts.” Jenine stated the obvious.
“The word “chastity is an antithesis of this alma pater”, objected Stacey. “Just like the concept of protection. Should we wear them when gone eating?”
“Yep.” Zita was reading the attached letter. “Mayson commands us to lock our holes for every lesson except the Lovemaking. Swiss company Gessler Enterprises hopes we stay safe.”
Barbara goes by the finger through slit. “Weren´t these for the wives of paranoid crusaders?”
“They had several functions”, corrected her Zita. “One of them was exactly this. Prevention of the rape. Good helpers of the Victoriana maids.”
She said the last sentence with unapologetic disgust. Practically like Jenine sounds all the time and these two could serve each other as a reflection. The same resent in the eyes and the curled lower lip. Senator returned to the neutral mood after inspecting the belt. “Good. No logos. The first thing they´ll put on me I can identify with.”
As for me, I don´t know, if I am grateful they considered the danger. When we are waiting here, we play rummy regularly, but the game is a cover up for showing thumb and a forefinger. Stacey taught me and Jenine solid Morse code. Zita and Barbara were slower in this regard. I understand the plan and its shortcomings.
*I´ve got an offer for being PE co-lector, signalizes Stacey. Pity I would die of self-loathing and it would not guarantee me free access to the gym and I need no less. Also, there might still be cameras.*
Signalizing made my shedding slow. *Too afraid they will find it. Act! Idea. Maintenance shift!*
Jenine facapalms with the fan of cards.
*How? Homemaking will never care of edurooms. Find Felicia´s double to succeed.*
Stacey is thinking the hardest out of us. She dislikes her Lovemaking less than Jenine, but more than I do. The guy is apparently restless and control freak. Her Homemaking kites are lately more on a personal side*,* giving her solution to raised points is the definitive way to cheer up her spirit. Long-term intentions notwithstanding.
Hand pushed me.
“Will you chat with me before the sleep?”
“Of course, Barbara.”
Like every third night. There I am useful. The individual repeating therapy.
I have won a many times as I was not stalling the game throughout. It had befallen me that I put the chastity belt on me after our youngest ones. The keys were submitted to the original package, secured under Jenine´s bed as could be attested by the female wardens, who ordered Homemaking dresses and our departure.
For the lunch we feasted on spaghetti. Light pasta food, the source of energy for banal tasks. Inmates got used to enforced routine. There are facilities, where breaking the stereotype can cause the catastrophe.
The anomalies are bound to happen and the topical one surprised many. Young woman with blue sweater, horn-rimmed glasses and ghastly white hair zigzagged over half of the dining hall. She stopped maybe a meter from us, glancing at Jenine and Stacey. My second guess was she has urgent dealings with Zita or Barbara. Ultimately…
“Are you Therese Kelly?”
Unprepared, I confirmed.
“My name´s Sylvia Brunkow. Co-lector for regular education. Councilor of underages Rosenstein said you have a religious background.”
“She did not lie. True Christian, practicing Catholic, growing up to be nun…”
“Fabulous! So close to the Muslim!”
“Wait, what?”
“You are relieved of your lesson! Please, go and help us. Everything will be explained by my wife Roberta.”
I am emptying dish of remaining spaghetti, conversing. Irrationally, I am reassuring myself about the chilling thing guarding my genitalia. No, this Roberta is the last person here who should be feared. I met so many people with such authoritative tone and she isn´t even that demanding, but whenever she talks, her plump cheeks bumping from the wave of sharp comments masked as explanations.
“Bosses threw me and Sylvia to a thematic room. We are living with two bi-girls. Lolle, the tennis player and Gina, the lawyer. In its limitless wisdom Tower decided our company would have improving effect on one Muslim girl – Basma.”
*Good Lord, do they know something about human soul?*
Ms., Mrs…. Brunkow..” *How to remember she is married?* “The shock for someone brought up traditionally…”
“She tried to kill herself. On the second day no less. On the arrival she cried over her hijab more than opening of her trousers. Yes, you should have seen that face, when she, only two steps from being butt-naked, got a memo what we four like and she doesn´t. Jumped under blanket, didn´t leave voluntarily for gym and … Threw up on the school uniform. Earned the night in SHU.”
“What kind of suicide…”
“On Friday she drank some cleaning products on the Homemaking.”
Roberta rummaged through her dark hair, so unlike Sylvia´s.
“She was released from infirmary a few days after, most courses postponed indefinitely for her. She was allowed to wear Homemaking outfit on the room under the condition of longer laundry duties. Others have Holy submission or school lessons, she sits mute in Rosenstein´s office.
“A big concessions. Why they didn´t move her to another room as well?”
“Ms. Kelly, these solutions, every single one of them, are to be called off the second she submits. They will never demand less of her, she must comply. As a matter of fact, they are giving Spanish flies to her food and Lolle is trying to woke up her inner bisexual. In the result, she is paddling the pink canoe. Doesn´t change she is trembling and can´t decide, if Allah is sending her to hell, because she lives with faggots, or because they are taking away the modesty from her.”
She is running on the ice, which cracked under me on the instant.
“Have you lost your faith, Ms. Kelly?”
“Not at all.”
“Make no mistake. To me, that is like saying you still believe in lucky charm of four-leaf clover. However, if you have God inside your head and still obey, tell her how the change is done.”
What has changed? Have I changed? What am I going to preach, when I meet Basma?
“Someone was hurt. All I need to hear. I will look for the right words.”
“I have sent your understanding and agreement to our place by Sylvia. Go, you ruminate. These are shoestring pieces, not spaghetti.”
She grabbed my arm. All I could do was letting her report to wardens and go to the … To the LGBTQM room.
“Ms. Kelly, I know people of your worldview don´t like to live in a real world… At most it should be your personal thing and not further indoctrination. If Basma starts to doubt, it would be good for her and us queers.”
I was starting to lose a respect for her.
“If you don´t believe in God, then you don´t think you are God´s child and you have no goal.”
Roberta averted eyes.
“Creativity in delusions, that´s what you are talking about.”
In the room we are reunited with Sylvia in her civilian underwear of green and white stripes.
“Ms. Rosenstein has come.”
Councilor Rosenstein was sitting on a bed where smaller lying person covered herself in blanket tightly, using it like a sleeping bag.
“I must be listening to your talk, Ms. Kelly, as you have not gone through screening. God knows my methods, my approach do not cover every kind of person, I´m staying also for untested perspective.”
She took the chin of the girl, who looked in my direction on her own will. Oval face, olive skin that was now so commonplace everywhere, suspicious eyes.
“Meet Basma Al-Yahya.”
I told her my name, confident as a lame ropewalker adept.
Basma grumbled. “Clara, I want them gone.”
“Brunkows are free to go weave.”
I was waiting for Roberta and Sylvia´s steps to fell silent. I touched Basma´s blanket, Rosenstein got out of my way. I have uncovered the layer of Homemaking skirt, formed here into a little triangle by the left knee.
“Basma, I was told you´ve done something really desperate. God wants us to have a long life and the displeasure we encounter are easier, if we recognize him as our guide.”
Basma had brighter eyes, pointed at me. Her lips were rolling around.
“He wants us to live by his commands. And the commands here? I have given up clothes to show my body to the twisted beasts!”
Good thing Rosenstain doesn´t comment on her opinion of roommates.
“I am to parading myself next to men and in the second half… I can´t live!”
OK, core of the issue leads inevitably to the suicide. Let´s remind her, how she *lived*.
“Basma, you´ve been brought here from your parents?”
Rosenstein went to the restroom, she must have known the personal data to come.
“Mom´s dead. Me and father have barely been outside The Windy City.”
My knowledge of the metropolitan nicknames was limited to “The Big Apple” as the thing I would recognize right away. Bells eventually ringed.
“Chicago?”
“Yes. We have diverse community there. Omanis, Jordanese, Palestinians. Many of our girls weren´t arrested.”
“Why do you think they picked you?”
“Normal schools get points for lists of the bad eggs. I was skipping it and when I didn´t, I all I could think of were more shenanigans done to sex freaks, sodomists and kids, whose parents I haven´t checked out. Maybe the God punished me for some of it.”
“I would never call his decisions “punishments”. Can you repent and be humble?”
And be a coward? Self-proclaimed whore like me?
Why did I forgive myself?
“You are being taught how to be useful. That is one direction clearly shown. The other is to remember that rudeness caused part of the trouble. Be always polite to your neighbors like you would be to your fath…”
“Funny. My repentance goes hand in hand with the Tower.”
Returning Rosenstein coughed behind me. Warning. Not sure to whom.
“Your roommates are … are… They will be reeducated in the same manner as you. Think!”
She unwound and I finally did mention nunnery to her. Basma´s reaction “You didn´t want a husband?” gave me a chance for a fake laughing. She meant it when she said she looks forward the next meeting. Rosenstein didn´t accompany me all the way, she instructed me behind the corner.
“Enjoy the program tomorrow, be back on Sunday. Concentrate on Submission and Lovemaking. Mayson expects more than tolerating lesbos.”
Oh, bother. I´ve caught a swallow and she demands summer. Nevertheless, I´ll keep a happy moment to bookmark. Fresh air in the soul. Painkiller for another two hours of “Vincenting”.
Barbara noticed.
“You look usually stoned after he is done..”
She was in my bed first. Zita didn´t stay at her spot either, covered by Stacey´s sheets, their movements not dissimilar to sex of Roberta´s pride. In reality, Stacey was definitely showing things she can do with the fingers when they are seen. Jenine had a chin on clasped hands, contemplative face adding to her wrinkles.
“Met someone, who understood the spiritual wisdom”, I simplified the truth. “I have memorized most of Bible stories and I can tell you anything. They have a meaning, you know.”
“Listen about my day!”
She doesn´t want to deny me outright. I laid to the other half of my bed, indulging myself in the troubles and fears of another “B”.
The world is old. So much it makes me feel nauseous. It is also a safe bet heaven and earth will grow much older before The Judgement Day. Yet people have short lifetime and they organize themselves with deadlines, no matter how pointless ones. Twenty-four hours of Saturday and I might stay awake all day, won´t make me to come up with a lie for Basma. I wasn´t strong, okay? I wasn´t strong and she crashed. Convincing of Basma has awaken my decision making, desensitized by Vincent´s will. I doubt he ´ll not get everything he desires and if the conversation threatens to be too witty, he´ll shut me up.
I´m served to him on a bench in the foyer, clothed in semitransparent green dress, nothing underneath, zippers on some places, delights for the groping hand. I am not looking around, I grant the rascal the moment of surprise, grabbing me on my temples, unzipping on the small of my back.
He came from behind, today a few kind taps of his palm. Could it be? Thanking me I am here, as zero choice I had? The arm encircled my neck, it´s hand offering me a bouquet of daffodil.
“Ther, they are for you, but if you care about them, you´ll hold them as a tail!”
That was the new usage for the rear zipper, he undid it for a bit and in a moment, the stalks tickled me on a bottom.
“In the second they fall out you´re for gardening detention and no more gifts from me.”
Romantic idea, lecherous execution. Heirs like to have their cake and eat it. Bend forward, I went up with him into penthouse of two floors. Guests had suits, inmates… That depended. I was among the dressed half, leaving plethora of women to bikini, pearl costumes, some jewelry or nothing.
“What are we doing here? Are we going to get some new schedule?”
“No, Ther. We are going to tuning the picture how do you talk to men and to each other in public.”
He took the glass of red wine and gave me the white.
“Can we couple with you, Walter?”
Vincent asked tall, broad-shouldered man, older than most of guys here, near the ledge. His partner was the young black lady, topless waist protected by the blue shorts.
“You know I hate you, rat!“, said Walter.
The sarcasm wasn´t there to indicate the opposite, more like Vincent can come despite the hatred. I could tell. The walk to them was made longer by my daffodils, but Vincent slowed down for me.
“So, you are disliking me you consider most of us slackers in general. I am asking myself, if you being active executive in fact make your moral ground lesser. My father wouldn´t let somebody stand in for himself, while yours is elderly and you are on the vacation.”
Walter looked on the black lady.
“What a terrible discord wrecks sometimes relations of gentlemen families.”
She smiled. “Younger fighter challenges the older. Being gentle isn´t enough.”
She can´t criticize either of them. This gibberish better be one of the Brotherhood slogans.
Walter might not have heard anything at all and addressed Vincent again.
“The resting stands above slacking. Plus, I´m going to scam in about two weeks. Will you miss me, Nina?”
The black companion evinces apathy as the better part of the occupants.
“Thinking about you will make me smile every time.”
Vincent´s pleasure in responding was genuine and unadulterated.
“I´m out of here in nine days. Cousin Mickey is, inheriting the room and the responsibilities.”
No, he wasn´t checking my reaction, Walter was the inquisitive one. Vincent shifted his head in Nina´s direction. They crisscrossed.
How did I react?
My left leg did a step back, I looked down on my feet and back up on the faces. He spoke about handing me over. On the initial “meeting”. And yesterday morning I would quiver and that would be it.
“Are you going to think about us two, Ther?”
His gaze still turned away, he caught me off guard.
“I will see you in Mickey and be generous all the same…”
Vincent nudged me in the stomach.
“You are nice to Mickey by surpassing me. Incorrect solution.”
“Uninspired vocabulary is one of her Achilles heels”, said Nina. “Girl, you must always come from the present, when contrasting.”
“Ms., were you writing dictionaries?”
I did not use the sardonic tone. The next nudge unkindly explained how it would have been misinterpreted. Some daffodils fell off.
“Everything I told will be done to you, Ther. You have also earned corner time after Lovemaking!”
“She is your sister, here and in the world! Really, the manners! Something was neglected!”, said a deeper female voice. Sister… Bitter reminder… Women are not sisters only to each other, they are siblings to men as well. The one who rebuked me had some Eastern European accent, brunette in late 30´s. Almost scholarly lady… In a cancan costume. Her guy didn´t reach the chest level. She shined with energy, maybe she and Stacey would make friends…
“What is your name?”
“Larissa Lewandowska. Double L, rude girl.”
I stood up and collected flowers.
“Larissa, I was neglected only as very little. What are bad people I know because my parents gave me away for adoption. Thank God I wasn´t neglected since! I was polite to every man and woman I met and was trying to love everyone! Maybe I´m not responding like in society, when the government hates what I am!”
I went to Larissa and seized the hem of her skirt. My fist missed the ribs, but she had to bend down and I pushed her, miniscule force in my palms, to make her land on the back, overturned skirt, revealing 19th century underwear. In my deluded rage I could imagine nothing but get rid of them and put the daffodils to the use.
Larissa wasn´t kicking. She laid initially totally still. I spread the legs and the shouting of people dissolved in my brain. Then, in a blur, Larissa took control of her lower half, in an agile move; clutched my neck with the calves and tossed me on the side. Ouch, I chose the bad foe to clash with. Wardens helped me to stand up.
I chose the wrong people!
Chief of security Victoria had a kindness of a vulture. Except scavengers are part of the nature and dictators are its deformation. Prostitutes are somewhere in the middle. Agatha is walking around Victoria´s office. Roberta and Sylvia sit on a chair. Rosenstein stands behind us.
“Postponing the punishment?“, asked Victoria. “She hasn´t proved herself to be a role model. attacking the other inmates the deed of asociality. Treacherous words, if repeated, will transfer her into penal colony.”
“We know, what is rotten in her room!”, said Rosenstein. “Her underage roommate panicked during my counseling for no reason. This is all influence of Jenine Thompson.”
Agatha, looking from the window, made it harder for me.
“Thompson is average, Kelly is garbage. Slow in Homemaking, unenthusiastic in Submission. Makes a good fucktoy to a guy, who canceled all orders because the shit she dared to do.”
“SHU will be alright. She needs to speak with Basma eventually. Me and ruby would ease the courses for them.”
“SHU and starvation would be enough if she just stroked the inmate. Daniel insists on public breaking wheel.”
No, humans can´t feel their healthy, unfractured bones. Words are capable of miracles.
“Infirmary will eat her time, so the procedure will oblige her to stay for the second school year, worsened by the hard labor.”
Remembrance of the martyrs challenges the conduct of true believers when the evil demands them kneel, when they see the mistreatment of others, if strange to them people for what it is. That the God´s plan is a story and they are the characters. Saint Catherine died on a wheel, I will bear the non-lethal part.
Question is, will I be remembered without the palm frond, shown solely to the other prisoners? Therese Kelly, the loser martyr, healed for the hard labor… Good Lord, why not appeal on that?
“Roberta!” My voice must have sound like a signal rocket. “How is Basma doing on Homemaking?”
“She is solid…”
Counting on mercy of Victoria drains my blood, safety of my fragile “ward” hurries me.
“Basma is useless for you, that is clear by now. I-nobo-nobody told her, but she wants to stay in the Tower as a part of the staff! And I will work, I will repay, what I have done, I beg you, don´t beat me!”
Shame on me I ever aspired to martyrdom. I sniffled, Rosenstein was on the sides ensuring I won´t end on a floor.
“That´ll never do”, said Roberta. “She can´t be liberated as such and men wouldn´t pay for untrained one.”
Agatha singularly gained crabby demeanor.
“Bollocks! Virginity fetish is alive and kicking! So much guys for whom that translates to goods unspoiled.”
“Daniel won´t allow the precedent”, said Victoria. “Speak to him, Brunkow and make up your mind…. Traitor suggested employment, Agatha the sale to the specialist.”
The relief they are not reaffirming my literal breaking was insignificant. Roberta pointed out pros of my idea over the phone coherently. To the superior, not to master. I lost the wording… Pictures loom over sense of the present. The crowd. Body exposed to cruelty. Warden with a metal rod. The greatest pain here and to date! My teeth are chattering. Rosenstein is alerted. She slammed the door, arm fumbling in her green coat. Anywhere she went, office is the third friendlier.
She didn´t come back in person. As Roberta was now rather persuading Mayson to not hanging up, the nurse entered and announced I am leaving to the infirmary. Threatened me with injection and I called it my demand.
Sunday morning I am having breakfast in bed, no one disturbs me, I am recovering in the heat of waffles and watching sun reflection on orange hexagon tiles.
Do a photo and tourists will come in dozens. My free and cuffed hand are stuffing me with the last drops of frosting.
Breakfast tray disappeared clean, instantly replaced by bewildered Roberta.
“Ms. Kelly, ready for some news?”
“Any change is bound to be good.”
“Me and principal solved the Basma case.”
Thank Heavens!
“Did you persuaded him about my proposal?”
“More like your proposal opened Mayson to compromise he should have meditate on earlier. Under the agreement, Basma will have Holy Submission practice replaced with the medical course and assistance on this very section, but she will have to do a test from the compulsory literature. Once she´ll be of legal age, we´ll marry her to pious Muslim fellow. She is going to have her mainstream education reduced, going only to female teacher´s classes and Clara will take a care of the Androcentrism subject. She is not going to discuss anything with the other schoolgirls. Exceptions must not be clarified!”
“I´m happy for her! When they sent me here “bonesbroken”, she can stop, here, by friend and the guinea pig.”
Roberta pursed the lips.
“You´ve had fortune in misfortune. Arthur Fitzpatrick, the tutor of Larissa Lewandowska, liked your spark and paid to have you in the threesome. Your public punishment mustn´t remove you from him.”
“Is there anything in short-term torture we can´t now overcome?”
“Ms. Kelly, your Holy Submission…. And your civil services are now to be dictated by the Privileged ones. Agatha herself has desired personal lackey…”
Gabage… Good fucktoy. Her saliva being the second in ceremony…
*I am now an underwhore.* My whining gets long sad face out of Jenine. Stacey is pragmatic.
*”Crock is a crock, no matter the gender. And if you are looking for exceptions, try to find Claudia Fleischer. Have you seen Basma, since?”*
*”She came to me that very evening. I had an appointment with Arthur in park. She doesn´t know the medical stuff, she will use Roberta´s expertise in biology. Cautious gratitude. Promised chloroform if needed.*
*Everyone would like that for Lovemaking,* signalized Stacey*. For us or for them.”*
*”I haven´t told you the funny thing about my new bedfellows. Arthur is Methodist, but Larissa is Catholic. We are now having almost as praying as shagging…”*
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/gsw2uj/the_princesses_in_the_tower_chapter_3_part_1