Does she want me or is it all my imaginations (Me M19 Her F32)
This is my first time writing such thing on social media. And my previous post, people suggested me write in paragraphs and improve my grammar skills… So this the best I could do… Please ignore the shortcomings
So, I have been having this feeling for years and wanting to share this and get an opinion from someone. But I thought it would be a very awkward and taboo conversation, so I am posting it on reddit.
So it’s about my cousin sister (Around 10 years older than me). All my life she’s been very friendly with me, you know the usual stuff…. Kisses, hugs, cuddles you know, kind of love a kid gets from everyone(She used to have a pet name for me in our regional language which loosely translates to my Lover or My King).
Since my childhood, she’s one my favourite person because she showered me with love and chocolates. I kind of grew very fond of her. From the beginning I always had a big crush on her and admired pretty much everything about her.
She happens to be a teacher (has done bachelor’s and masters) so she’s smart and our entire family respects her opinion. Hence no one questions her decisions much.
So when I reached my 8th grade(The year where you get your first sexual education in Indian education system) during my summer holidays which I used to spend in my village.
She took me alone to room and started asking questions about my education and what they taught about reproduction and all that stuff.
When I knid of vaguely described to her about my studies. She proceeded to give me a very detailed explanation about what my body would go through adolescent age.. And how girls would feel attaracted towards me and vice versa… She also gave an example about a good looking guy getting harrased by 5 girls because they could not control their hormones (which I believe was a made up scenario but I kinda get the point she was trying to make)..Her taking special interest in education wasn’t an unusual thing but going into such details like how my penis would grow, how girls breast would enlarge and how that would make me horny and sweaty surely was an awkward moment for me but also kind of exciting. I think from that point onwards every time I met her, things would somehow turn into a lesson about sex and sexual education.
She was always used to be very touchy with me, everytime she used to meet me. But soon I started to feel like she was overtly doing it, in order to get my attention to her and to her body(this stuff usually used to happen when we would be alone, or she would take me to a room and someplace where no one was there, people in our house used to think that it’s just two “smart” people talking about some stuff)and any thing I would say she would go like ‘Aww you sound so cute, you’re so innocent’ and then proceed to kiss me and cuddle me. Only if she knew the thoughts in my mind were nowhere close to being innocent. She would ask me questions like how my dress today, do I look good.. Once she asked me if the bra strip was visible through the saree. She would always try to get my attention towards her body.. Which I loved because she smelled like an angel(although I don’t know what a angel smells like.. But she definitely smelled like one)
As time passed I thought she might stop being touchy and cuddly with me you know as a kid you would not think much about it. But as you become older you expect it to stop because everyone else starts to treat you like an adult right. But she didnt (Althoght I wished she would just continue)
Obviously as a horny teenager, everything about her just turned me on. Her body, her curves, her smell, her odour. I even like got her perfume and sprinkle it on my bed so that it would smell like her.
Since she was a teacher and ( I think pretty every teenager has this fantasy about wanting to hook up with one) my interest towards older women increased. I would jack off to thinking about my teachers and I think my cousin contributed majorly to it.
Since Indian parents get paranoid about thier children’s edication as they go higher up in studies. She started to ask me to go to her house for tutions, her house was a little far from our house (20km).So my mom didn’t think it was worth the effort and thought of joining me to a coaching a centre somewhere near.
But she forced my mom into sending me to her house, she even like made arrangements for me. (she used to take coaching classes for other as well, even on weekends) She would personally pick me up from my house every Saturday, give the other kids holidays. Her husband was a farmer (a major portion of his income came from agriculture) so every week he would live between his village home and this home. She used to accompany to him sometimes but due to her work she rarely used to go to. She used to be also alone during weekends, that was one the reason she gave to my mom that she would feel lonely and want my company.
She would always take me to the movies or malls on Saturday night. And would always act like she was my girl, like we were on a date or something. She used to treat like a man (you know how boys want to be treated like “Men”). She always used to make me felt needed, like I meant much more than what I was. Me being with such low esteem, it definitely helped me rebuild it.
So when she start teaching she would be wearing a night (an Indian wear).So whenever she used to teach me, she would bend so much that I could see her entire bra less boobs. She would lift her night till her knees exposing her hot legs.
The entire time I could not concentrate on anything she would say, my entire conversation would be on her body and the way she smelled. She smelled so gooood.
She would “Award” me with kisses whenever I would answer her questions. She would heap praise on me.
Although there were 2 rooms and a lot of beds and couches, she would force me to sleep with her in her bedroom. Even if I insisted or atleast acted like I would sleep in the hall.. She would accompany me there also.. She would never let me sleep alone, she had to cuddle and hold me the entire time.
She’s a messy sleeper, when she would wake one of her boobs would be out, her dress would have rose up while tightly holding me..
During midnight when she would be asleep, I would touch ker boobs, kiss her on the lips (I used to think that kissing on the lips of a woman was the peak pleasure a man could get). Sometimes her panties would be visible. I would adjust her dress while sleeping.
My visit to her house every weekend was the only thing I used to look forward to.
Every time we were in house she would offer me to bathe myself.
She would not take no for an answer, and while she would bathe me she would deliberately touch my private parts and act very seductively in front of me.
She would say stuff like the girl you would marry would be so lucky to have such hot and sexy husband.
I was basically the man of the house during those weekends…
Sometimes she would suggest to watch an erotic movie with me. She would be very open about it.. She would say this would explore your sexuality and stuff.
Obviously there wasn’t much going on in my “LOVE” life. So I was pretty much in love with her.
Every week things things got bold and bold.. She would sometimes kiss me near mouth ‘Accidentally’ and pretend like nothing happened.
These things kept happening throughout for a year and a half. It was probably the best part of my life.
But then she got pregnant due to which she moved back to her mother’s place for her maternity things. I could not see her for like a year or so..
Smartphones or social media wasn’t big that time as it is now… And also I didn’t have one.. So there was basically no contact between us
She delivered a beautiful baby girl several months later. That was the first time I saw in a year, so I expected something electric to happen between us..
You know like in the movies and stuff
But she was different from before when I met her… Her greetings were more formal, no touchy touchy things.
I was so disappointed at that time watching her not care for me…
My heart literally sank.
But that overturned when she called my mother like 3 months later asking her to send me to her house for tuitions.
I was overjoyed by this development.
But I didn’t hope for much this time, recounting our previous encounter I dint expect much love.
So we got in the studying when her baby started crying… She literally removed her blouse (saree) in front of me popped out her breast in front of me and breast fed her daughter while holding eye contact with me…
That was like the first I saw a fully exposed milk filled boobs in my life… And it was gross af…
The swollen boobs didn’t interest for some reason… Although I enjoyed her breasts before but something about it being exposed didn’t interest me.
She was now less touchy compared to before, but she would gives kisses, hugs whenever we met.
But guess with the new baby, my liv got divided.
Things went for some time without much improvements but I sure enjoyed her.
Meanwhile I got my first ‘GIRLFRIEND’
So the next summer when I was 16… She came to our home to spend some of her summer vacation with us … (my mother and I live alone since my dad’s in army)
Her daughter was now around a year old.
In that vacation she reverted back to her old self and starting treating me like a MAN and was very obviously being flirty in front my mom. My mom didn’t think much of it because she adored her as well..
I would share some things with her like stuff about my girlfriend. I even asked her what i should gift my GF for her birthday.
She was very friendly with me during those 20-25 days.
She would deliberately make up some problems and come to room to ask for my help.
One time, she came to me asking how to make a PPT. Which a very shocking for me because she was very good with modern stuff.
She would spend hours sitting beside me watching me while pushing her breasts towards my back and relaxing her head in shoulders as I would teach her.
During those times she would be massaging my thighs and occasionaly touch my dick and keep on rubbing it, acting like nothing happened.
My dick would keep getting hard and hard, I was sure she could feel my dick but still she choose to touch it while kissing me on cheeks now and then.
The entire time I would be in the house she would be in my room with me. She would call me like a million times if I wasnt home and would be very upset if I left her alone..
I didnt have a problem of her being in room.. surely because her smell made my room smell like paradise instead of a shit hole..
But with her on such close proximity and no privacy.. It was very hard to mastrubate.
So I would alwsys end up in bathroom Mastrubating to her panties and innerwear that she would have left in my bathroom.
She would always bathe in my washroom ans parade in front of me half naked in towel. Even though there was a bigger washroom in our house.
Once when I sleeping she came out of the washroom. Watching me sleep she started drying her hair so that the water droplets would fall me… She wanted me to wake up so that I could watch her…
She would always talk to me for half and hour in half naked state. Things that didn’t even matter.
She would ask me to take her out, even though she knew the city pretty well.
She would ask me to walk her down the park for hours. She would be like ‘Wow you’re romantic, handsome.. If I was your wife I would have never left you alone. Your like my dream man.
These things surely made my boyish dick feel like a grown up man.. (which as a teenager is all that you want to feel I guess)
She would then ask her daughter to marry me in future (I know.. Stupids things Indian people ask kids)..
Then she would go into huge details on how i would make a great husband and others things that made my dick hard.
While on the final day of her leaving.. She came out of the washroom, wearing just a robe and asked me to get her innerwear for her form the cupboard.
When I proceeded to give her the innerwear and leave the room.. She asked me to stay… And help her putting on the bra…
Obviously with little hesitation I complied to her request.
My Dick was never so hard before in my life… After she got dressed she winked at me while slightly bitting her lower lip.
Which I think was my que to have her or maybe I was imagining idk. But when I remembered it later I surely think she wanted me to make a move.
She basically took around 2 hours get ready and the entire time making suggestive looks at me. She draped her saree so seductively..
Man it was the hottest thing I had ever seen.
While she got ready she came over and asked to help with saree and make few adjustments.
Then she didn’t amazing thing where pulled my shirt towards.. Like aggressively grabbing my collar and kissed me on my lips while her saree started to get loose.
After she left me she looked at me.. Like hoping to make a move or something idk.. I think she changed her mind when she saw shocked face… She said I wanted to thank you so u wanted to be the first girl who kissed you.. ( I had earlier expressed to her how I wanted to kiss on her lips and how my Gf would let me do it…. I know it was lame but I was 16 and dumb who used to way too much Bollywood shit what else do you expect)
She left that day… But amazingly she had left a pair of innerwears and her nighty(robe kind of thing) which she was wearing before she took a bath..
I took those innerwears and hid it.. While also hiding her robe because it smelled like her.. And I was not going to see her for another 3 months..
I was able to hide it for a week or so… Mastrubating in it.. But it started to stink so without my mom knowing I would wash it.
And then mastrubate in it… I think I used it so much.. The material of innerwears started to tear off.
Then her husband’s parents had gotten ill and my cousin had not started to go back her work since her maternity leave.. So they decided to move back to their in laws place for some time..
I again lost her for a year.
No contact expect few phone calls and WhatsApp (Internet used to be costly then in india)
Then 6 months later the Internet boom happened… Internet became cheap, smartphones became cheap in India.
So with WhatsApp we were connected everyday. Everyday she would send me GM GN with picture of hers.. Day by day it got seductive and more and more revealing.
But I wanted in real not virtually.. Then I stopped talking. I got into college I stopped replying thinking that it was a waste of time..
I started to feel like there’s nothing going happen between us. She would always try to strike up a conversation with me whenever she felt like she had a topic. But my responses were pretty cold.
One day she had posted a picture of hers wearing her new jewellery in her status, which I thought was very revealing of her cleavage.. Kind of a risqué post, you would not expect her to post…
So I got a little curious and checked her status from my mom’s phone… Her status was not visible.. She has specifically posted it for me…
Again spiking my interest in her..
But still I felt reluctant to get bold
3
So finallllly coming to the point
Her in laws moved out of thier village to a new place, closer to one of thier relatives..
Her husband kind of manages between all thier houses (He’s a very hard working man and like wants everyone to get together and live happily even it causes him discomfort)
So my Dream girl has decided to go back to work.. But she wants to complete a course which take her a couple of years in the city. And my mom has forced her to stay with us.
Instead of renting a new house and going through of moving and stuff. (also due to the lockdown it became quite difficult)
It’s been a 3 month since she has been in our house…
She turned into my wife.. She has her clothes in my cupboard, she has all of her stuff in my.. She sleeps in my room in the same bed… She cleans up the mess I make, she cooks for me, she waits for me everyday to have food with her.
She pretty much walks into the washroom when I am taking a bath (the latch is broken, which needs to be fixed.. But I don’t plan on doing it)… Everytime I am with her she gives me these FUCK ME eyes… Which is irresistible for me… The past month with her with the lockdown and all… We are pretty much glued together…
My mother does not seem to care about it… She still feels I am a little kid and does not really think much about our closeness..
Her daughter lives with grandmother right now….So that her education does not get interrupted for now..
So everytime I have wanted to make a bold move.. Like touch her on my own before her approaching me or like remove my shirt and short while sleeping (I like to sleep in my underwear and she knows that) but I wait everyday for her to tell me that it’s okay for me to sleep like that with her.
I always get scared thinking that it’s just her sisterly love and nothing more…
But during this lockdown, the lust the gotten into my head… I think I might be in love her…
So should I make a move???
If yes… Could you suggest some things
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/grhl6p/m_19_f_32_does_she_want_me_or_is_it_all_my
There is no sex education in Indian education system.