When I hit that DDT on the alligator he flipped me on my back and started to role. I had no idea wtf I was gonna do, so I blasted him back into the pond scum from which he came. I threw my leg into that croco’s sternum and he smiled and said, ” do drugs kiddos” before biting down hard on his own tail. At this point, I was so angry, that I was lactating. With him being forged in the fires of mount clap ass itself, he could death toll me so fucking bad my scapula would tear in two. Basically I just shot the crocodile and I got arrested by fish and wildlife services cause Carole Fuckin Baskin pays those bitches off.
So after I got arrested by fish and wildlife, I slipped one of the guards a fat stack and he let me pass with a warning. I knew I had to claim revenge on El Crocodilo, so I found the biggest fucking magic dragon money could buy, said fuck the lube, and drove on down to the Everglades, also the home of that bitch Carole Baskin. I found him, in all his glory, on the edge of clear water pond. “Fiddlesticks”, he cried, as he propped up on two legs and ran away. He had become bipedal. I chased after him and leaped into the air, thrusting the magic dragon straight into its miniscus. He roared a mighty roar, as he fell to the ground. I had perfectly skewered the beast, while simultaneously piercing the sun. After twisting that croco’s dick tighter than a hydraulic press, I carried on to find that his children had just hatched and scurried off into the marsh. I could not let this happen. I must end his bloodline.
The End?
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/gbmtkn/florida_man_x_el_crocodilo_a_revenge_story
Holy shit lmaoo I started this and was like “PLEASE dont tell me he wants to fuck a crocodile” and now I’m just in tears laughing