I was very uncomfortable with my sexuality growing up. I like women and I like men too and I was always really scared of intimacy. I was raped this last December. I started trying to explore my sexuality with my boyfriend, who I felt very comfortable with, and it helped me cope and process my trauma. Unfortunately, less than a few weeks later, my boyfriend sent videos of us having sex without my consent to multiple girls. I was mortified, because I had never before him ever trusted anyone enough to have regular sex with them, let alone have them record me. My face was in the videos. I’m still processing what happened. I decided to make an onlyfans and start sharing explicit content of myself because I figured it might feel better for people to see the videos in a way I’m in control of and in a way I feel like I’m taking back that power. I was right. I feel really empowered. People I went to high school and college with are paying to see my body and paying to see the videos strangers got without my permission. I feel sexy and powerful. I’m really glad I did this, I just hope no one finds out. By the way, I have his consent to post the videos. I feel better every time someone else subscribes. I know internet validation is shallow but this honestly feels good. I’m getting off to it, too. Guys are messaging me asking for specific things and when I do them I feel desired and grateful that I’m still desirable. Not a lot of people know. I wanted to tell someone what I’m doing and why. Thank you for listening if you just happened to be scrolling through the new posts.
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/gamach/today_i_started_posting_my_sex_tapes_online_to
No problem, always happy to listen.
good for you for taking back the control
btw i would love to see your onlyfans
Always glad to listen and happy you found something to help you take back control… now wish I knew your onlyfans account haha
Everyone is sexy and beautiful, I’m glad you got your chance to prove it to everyone and yourself. Do whatever makes you happy girl, you deserve it.
Well done in not letting someone spoil your sexual exploration, doubly well done in getting his consent before posting it yourself. I think most of us would have taken the stance that he didn’t get yours before sharing so we wouldn’t think we need his. Done well taking the moral stance there, I suspect I’d not have that cool a head at the time to even consider that, never mind actually asking. Really quite impressive
Congrats! I’m proud of you! This takes a lot of guts and I don’t think I’d be able to do the same in your shoes!
I hate that you had to go through that, but as a stranger, I’m proud of you for doing what you feel is best for yourself. Power!
While it’s not the healthiest coping mechanism, in the end it’s what makes you happy and move past experiences like those. Empowerment is a great feeling, and hope you find a relationship where you can learn to trust again