Kaleigh, or “Wait Just a Cousin-Fuckin’ Minute.” [MF] [exhibition]

(I’ll spare those looking for incest some trouble. Kaleigh isn’t *my* cousin. The title becomes clear in a few paragraphs. Saving twisted perverts time and energy is my pleasure. You’re welcome.)

“So, you two wanna go pick somethin’ up?” Rob reached for his wallet, “I got some cash.”

This was typical of Robert. He had no talent for subtlety. He wanted Kaleigh and I to disappear so he and Jessica could be alone. Probably have a go at each other. Definitely in my bed. It was bold, and the nerve of it should have pissed me off. Anyone else I’d have told to get fucked (Pun intended.). But, he was my brother in all but the strictest sense of the word, and I wasn’t going to do him dirty like that. Honestly, I was sort of proud.

Jessica was Rob’s new-ish girlfriend. They’d been dating for a few months, starting after his excellent New Year’s party. Kaleigh was her younger cousin and current object of my affection. (Pronounced KAY-lee, despite its Klingon appearance.) I had met her a few weeks prior on a blind date arranged by the two fat, inconsiderate assholes preparing to ruin my sheets.

At first, I wasn’t thrilled about them playing matchmaker, but I went along with it and ended up being surprised by how much I liked her. She was very cute, quite chubby, but I was ok with that. (She could get away with “thick” or “curvy” by today’s standards.) It took a while to get her out of her shell, but once she emerged I found her interesting, a bit naughty, and I could see myself having a lot of fun with her.

In fact, the only thing I found odd about her appearance was her style–a strange combination of almost-country and not-quite-goth.

Tonight she was wearing a stretched-out black V-neck, revealing a pink and black Walmart bra (Just the right amount of trashy for me), jeans with rhinestones on the ass pockets, and a camo hoodie. In contrast to that, she had on dark eyeliner, chipped purple nail polish, a Hot Topic choker that read “Hottie”, and peroxide blonde hair with brown roots showing. I frequently imagined her naked, and I couldn’t decide if that was because I was pathetically horny, or because trying to make sense of her was like solving a puzzle from some Lovecraftian nightmare. (You may begin to notice a trend, Dear Reader. Short, chubby girls, with big tits and vitamin D deficiencies are my strongest attractor.)

We called each other every day afterward, which would have felt like the beginning of another milquetoast, puppy-love, high-school romance, were it not for her constant sex talk. Our conversations always gravitated toward celebrities we would fuck, the best songs to fuck to, places we wanted to fuck, taboos, fantasies, everything. She was, at least verbally, a nymphomaniac, and that placed her at the top of my list. (She was the entire list, at that point.)

Speaking of sex, my plans for World Fuckination had pulled up lame. (See: Jennie pt. 2, Dear Reader.) As it turns out, girls at my conservative Catholic high-school didn’t tend to pursue casual sex with their classmates. I still had fantastic sex with Jennie, on occasion, but her booty-calls had begun to dry out and I was forced to explore farther afield.

Kaleigh and I joked on the drive about what we knew was unfolding back at the house. Jessica was a bigger girl, not supersized, but on her way to it. Rob was gigantic, 6’6″, close to 400 lbs. The logistics of them having sex was morbidly fascinating to us. She told me that Jessica had been through a three-month dry-spell before meeting Rob, and was happy she’d found him. If that was a dry spell, Rob lived in a goddamned desert. He had been a full-ride offensive tackle at a major university in the deep south, who slept with two girls his entire college career. (I know right? Fuckin’ baffling. He should have been plowing a new sorority girl’s back forty on a weekly basis.)

Our little exile-date was going great, but Kaleigh was quiet by the time we arrived at the little family pizza joint in “town”. I use sneer quotes because it was more like a diorama of a village the builder hadn’t bothered to complete. At least there were a handful of decent restaurants and a video store.

I ordered two pies to-go and chatted with the owner for a bit. He asked if Kaleigh was my girlfriend right in front of her, in the way old people like to be cute about that sort of thing. I told him yes, and gave her a “don’t worry about it” look. She made a mock pouty face.

Rob and Jessica were surely finished with their romp, but I wanted to figure out what was bothering her, so I leaned on the hood of my comically oversized sedan, opened one of the boxes, and offered Kaleigh a slice.

“We going back?” she asked.

“Not yet. I want to hang out with you, and they’re going to need all the time they can get,” I half-lied, grabbing a slice with the giant bubble in the crust. (My favorite.)

We leaned on my car and made terrible small-talk about our respective plans for college and her break-up before she met me. I made a big deal about being set up as her rebound guy, and she laughed.

We had a fun, relaxing time, but I could tell she was back in her shell and I couldn’t figure out why. I knew she liked me, I knew she wanted me–she’d told me as much. But, she seemed like another person without distance between us and I felt guilty about being bored with her. What I really wanted was to pull down her ridiculous bedazzled jeans and bend her over the fender.

“You’re really nice, you know?” she told me as I started the car.

“I’ve told you about wanting to ass-fuck Alyson Hannigan in the dressing room at work… that seems nice?” I brought up the time we played *Who?/Where?/Hole?* (She’s doing that cookie show now and I’d still totally give her my royal icing. Anyway.)

“That’s just talking,” she giggled, “I like talking about that stuff with you.”

“Well, you haven’t mentioned ‘stuff’ very much tonight,” I said, taking my hands off the wheel to make air quotes. I sounded like a prick.

“I don’t know. It’s embarrassing in person,” she whined, pushing my shoulder.

“It shouldn’t be,” I reassured her, but we didn’t talk about it again.

Kaleigh and I shared a knowing look when we walked into the room and noticed the funk. They had turned on my halogen floor lamp, even though I had told Rob a dozen times not to. It poured out heat, creating a humid jungle haze of sweat, ass, and cum particles, which I imagined condensing on every surface. Lovely.

The bums inhaled an entire pizza and got crumbs in my bed, giving me yet another reason to wash them as soon as possible. To be fair to Jessica, Rob did most of the eating. Big Boy needed a recharge.

We passed time lazily and had a few beers courtesy of my absentee mother.

When we burned out, I ended up sitting on the floor, in the dark, ass numb, watching SportsCenter. Kaleigh lounged on my oversized green faux-leather beanbag, staring at the screen, probably contemplating methods of escape. Or suicide. Rob was out. He snored like a mammoth. (I assume. I don’t know what a mammoth snores like. No one does. Go fuck yourself.)

I watched Kaleigh stretch in the flickering light of the TV, one arm extended above her head, back arched. Her generous breasts pushed against her flimsy black V-neck, which lifted to reveal her belly. She pulled down on her shirtail, glancing at me self-consciously.

“I’m so bored,” she mouthed.

I pointed my thumb behind me and shrugged. Rob could’ve slept competitively.

She patted the carpet next to her. An invitation. The sliver of beanbag I laid down on was terribly uncomfortable. I propped my head up with one arm and rested the other on her belly, just below her breasts, feeling her tense up but give no objection. She snuggled against me.

After a while I moved in and kissed her. She opened her mouth and ran her pillowy tongue across mine. I imagined what it would feel like on my cock before reaching inside her shirt to squeeze her tit through the rough, cheap bra. She shivered and leaned away, putting her hand on my chest. I thought I’d gone too far. I was wrong.

She stood her fingers up and walked them backward along my sternum, down to my belly-button, stopping to tickle me. I laughed and took my turn at tensing up. She bit her lip and continued down, down, until her palm rested on my denim-restrained cock. I glanced nervously over my shoulder.

Jessica laid there, an unflattering caricature of herself, staring corpselike at the television. I knew she could see us and wondered how far she’d let this go. I got my answer when she rolled over, box spring creaking as she showed her back to us. I turned back to Kaleigh, her breath rapid and moist against my neck. We waited. Still and careful. Wordless. Unsure. Cautious.

Fuck cautious.

I pulled her close and kissed her like I meant her harm, burying my tongue in her mouth. She let out a surprised “mmf”, and wrapped arms around my neck, running her fingers through my hair. We made out for a while, petting, touching. Atbone point she rubbed my groin like she was torturing a POW. I checked on Jessica every few minutes.

We went quickly, hurrying before we got caught.

I pulled up her shirt and discarded it. There was no time for the bra. She arched her back and shimmied her jeans and panties down. Her pussy was wet and plump and perfect, with a little landing strip left up top.

She had trouble with the button on my jeans. I finally undid it myself and pulled everything down, setting my cock free. It was still warm in the room, thankfully.

I kissed her neck and ran my hands along her creamy skin, feeling the warmth between her legs, sliding in a finger. She gasped and squeezed her thighs together, trapping my hand for a moment, then again when I rubbed her clit with my thumb. Eventually, I tried for two fingers, but she was so tight it wasn’t going to happen.

She sat up without thinking, reaching for my cock. Her skin peeled away from the faux leather with a loud ripping sound. We both looked to the bed, expecting to be caught, but Jess was out.

“You have one?” she whispered. This was happening.

I stood up, ass in the wind, inching open my top drawer to retrieve a condom, which I then fumbled with unceremoniously in the gloom, sitting back on my heels, fully erect, struggling to wrap my dick I was wrapping a weird shaped Christmas present. She waited patiently, casually touching herself, rubbing her clit. (I LOVE when girls casually touch themselves.)

Entering Kaleigh was heavenly. She jumped when my cock’s head slipped past her swollen lips, slapping her hands across my back and gouging with her nails. It hurt like a sonuvabitch.

“Shh.” I cautioned, looking to the bed for the hundredth time.

“Sorry,” she mouthed silently.

We stayed face-to-face for a while, despite the difficult angles involved in beanbag fucking. I felt like I was sliding up and down in front of her and never getting any deeper. It was horrendous sex. Finally, she put her hand on my shoulder and pulled me close.

“This isn’t working,” she said in boner-killing fashion.

“Want to kick them out?” I rasped.

“No! Let me move,” she smirked.

She flipped over and fluffed the bag, making a hell of a racket, then laid down on her considerable belly, face-down against the carpet, ass in the air, majority of the bag under her knees. She turned and gave me a “take me” look.

I grabbed her hips and pushed my cock in as deep as I could. She groaned, loud, but I didn’t care at that point. She could be as loud as she wanted and they’d just have to deal with it.

I fucked her like I had wanted to for weeks, bending my knees and driving her into the floor. She squirmed, pushing her ass back against me. Getting caught became an afterthought. I didn’t care who saw or heard, I just wanted to keep fucking her. My pelvis slapped against her jiggling velvet ass, rhythmic and grotesque and wondrous. The wet sucking of my cock sliding in and out of her dripping pussy was the hottest sound I’d ever heard. And, I wasn’t the only one who’d heard it.

I hadn’t seen Jessica turn over. She was looking at us, eyes wide in the glow of the television.

**RED FUCKING ALERT**

Well.

Fuck.

I suppose I **was** worried about getting caught after all. To say “my mind raced” would be a cliché understatement–it had already missed the first turn and hit the wall full-throttle, ejecting liquified grey matter into the stands.

Shit, shit, shit. What should I do? Say, “Hey Jess, was just helping Kaleigh with some beanbag yoga and *oops*, my cock’s in her”? How long had she been watching? Why wasn’t she saying anything? I pulled out.

Jessica held up her hand and shook it, pleading.

O…

K…

“Stop.”

As in, “Stop fucking my cousin you little shit!” or, “Stop preparing to enter witness protection and keep going.”?

Kaleigh looked back at me, probably wondering why I wasn’t cock-punching her cervix anymore. I nodded to the bed figuring she would scramble across the floor for her clothes as soon as she realized Jessica was awake, but she didn’t move at all. I took a step back and pulled off the condom, ready to endure the coming shame.

Jessica held out both hands and shook them at me… “STOP!”

She raised a finger to her lips: “I won’t tell.” 

Then rolled her hand at the wrist: “Keep going.”

Kaleigh motioned for me to lean in and listen, “I should have told you. She’s going to watch. It’s ok,” she whispered.

**Wait just a cousin-fuckin’ minute…**

**They planned this?**

She fantasized about wanting an audience, but I never figured it would be a family affair. My indignation lasted until she started stroking me. After that, I was strangely comfortable with it.

Kaleigh finally removed her bra. Beautiful tits. Generous, not massive. Neither perky, nor saggy. Just cute. They shook as she jerked me off, resurrecting my cock. Knowing Jessica was watching added some pressure. I wanted to put on a good show for her.

“Lay down,” she commanded.

I obeyed.

She wrapped her lips around my cock, not that she needed to–I was already raging hard again–but, it was considerate. She sucked and sucked and then sucked **hard**, uncomfortably hard. I flinched and bit my knuckle, watching her head bob up and down behind her veil of chemical blonde hair. She sat up after a few minutes and wiped her chin.

“Finish fucking me,” she begged. Definitely loud enough for Jessica to hear.

She crawled on top, breasts hanging in my face, giant saucer nipples angled down. I stretched my neck up to suck one, but she pushed my head down and used it for leverage, lowering her hips onto my skyward dick. Then she rode me, achingly slow at first.

I put my hands on her hips, pushing and pulling to her rhythm, watching her tummy jiggle. Her weight was noticeable but not overbearing, and I found the sensation of being ground into the floor wonderful. She rode, tender and carefree, ass pounding me into the carpet.

When she increased speed, each step was deliberate, measured, like a train moving from a dead stop. Her tits bounced to the beat. Hypnotizing.

She began to tire and sat up straight, pulling her own hair, grinding her hips front to back, bending my throbbing cock to the limit each way. She was so wet. So tight. I was going to come. There was no avoiding it.

Before I could, she whimpered, “Nng… I’m…” 

That was all she got out before she leaned forward and kissed me. She came loud and hard, eyes rolled back, muffling her ecstatic moans with our open mouths.

I planted my feet on the carpet and thrusted. I was so close! But she could barely hold herself up when her orgasm subsided.

I bucked her off, rolled, and pinned her shoulders to the floor. Berserk. Consumed with the need to come. It didn’t take long. A dozen deep thrusts and I pulled out, blowing a thick load on her belly.

I collapsed on the floor, panting, and she rolled over, throwing her arm across me, smearing cum between us. I didn’t care.

She held me close and kissed my neck. I heard her sniffle. Her cheeks were wet. I realized she was crying. I held her tight and kissed her forehead, not knowing what else to do. Everything had just kept getting weirder.

Rob was still snoring.

I looked to the bed and saw Jessica’s hands moving between her legs. She gazed at me and grinned a ravenous, cannibal grin.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/f7i9ng/kaleigh_or_wait_just_a_cousinfuckin_minute_mf