Strangers on a Train pt 5

Work was exceptionally terrible that week and Emily had no desire to be there. She was grateful when it was Wednesday as that was the chat night for one of her reddit groups. What she didn’t plan for was how emotional she was. Against her better judgement, she joined the chat on her phone and participated as she waited for the train. She vented a bit about her struggles with the lack of communication with Micheal but obviously didn’t use his name.

After being given some tough love, she excused herself to the bathroom and cried for ten minutes. She knew why she was being so emotional this week and everything was irritating her and the smallest thing would make her cry. Not only was there a full moon, but she was supposed to have gotten her monthly visitor. It decided to skip this month but she still got all the lovely symptoms she usually did. The only benefit this one week of every month had was that she had less patience and ability to deal with bullshit. It was the one time a month she’d stand up for herself.

Unfortunately that also meant that her patience with Micheal’s lack of communication was nonexistent. She took a spot on the train and Micheal sat across from her.

“Good morning beautiful,” he said.

“Morning,” she replied.

“How are you today?”

“Fine. But does it really matter?”

“Yes.”

“Doubtful.”

“Mmmm,” Micheal hummed. “I see you’ve hung on to your uncharitable assumptions about me.”

“Nope,” Emily said with a frown. “Just that your lack of communication and time makes me feel like I don’t actually mean anything to you. I know you are busy and have a life outside of me. But damn you’re guarded. I don’t feel like you want to get to know me. I’m always asking the questions. And yet you have time to post on reddit but not text me. And telling you this way makes me feel like a bitch.”

Micheal took a breath so he didn’t utterly erupt at her. His jaw tensed.

“I do want to get to know you. You seriously underestimate my lack of time,” he said. “You make assumptions of how I spend it when in reality I’m pretty much working from the time I get up to the time I go to bed. I have to. If I don’t make my hours, I get fired. I make time for running because if I don’t I will go fucking insane.”

Emily felt the tears start to sting her eyes. Micheal could feel his blood pressure rise.

“Going on reddit is the same. It’s easy to fit in when I have five minutes to myself. You assume I’m willfully ignoring you instead of trying to hold my fucking life together.”

Emily swallowed and said, “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for exploding a bit but that hits a nerve that has been hit on so many times before,” Micheal said a bit calmer.

“I’m glad you did,” Emily said, blinking back her tears. “It shows me you have feelings instead of keeping everything to yourself. I’m sorry. I didn’t intend to have this conversation any time soon. Nor do I like that you started your day this way.”

“I’ll be fine,” Micheal said.

“Well, I’ll leave you be today.”

Emily struggled to get through the day at work. She felt so utterly exhausted and like she would cry at the drop of a hat. It didn’t help that a couple of their usual remote workers were in which always meant more chaos at the office.

She decided it just wasn’t worth it and went home at 12:30pm. When she finally got home, she started writing out an apology to Micheal. She didn’t know how to write out everything she felt she needed to say

Emily wrote out her apology and sent the link to him on reddit so he could read it when he had time. She also sent him a link to something she had posted on reddit and then removed. She had learned he did in fact look at her profile and she didn’t want him to learn about her issues that way. She wanted to communicate with him properly, like an adult.

Emily was lurking in the chat while she wrote her apology and by three o’clock she said fuck it and decided to break out the alcohol. She didn’t tell her husband she left work early and she definitely didn’t have the energy to figure out what to do for supper. At the end of the work day and when she would normally be riding the train home, her phone buzzed.

‘Thank you for telling me how you feel. I know I need to do a better job of letting you know how I feel too. But a big part of that is the fact that I don’t know what I want.’

‘I know. It’s an issue for me too. What is it that you’re unsure about?’

‘I don’t know really. I know there are things I’m missing from my life and relationship. That’s why I started doing reddit and it sort of helps. But there’s still something missing. And even if I found that, I don’t know what I’d do with it.’

‘I guess you have to figure out what it is that’s missing. I just wish you’d let me fill the void.’

‘Reddit seems easier. Safer. And you’re the only woman I’ve been physical with.’

Emily sighed. It had been a month and a half since they had been physical and she wanted more. She wanted more of everything with him.

‘I feel like I’m just horrifically greedy. That I have it really good and that I shouldn’t blow it all up for some amorphous feeling that something is missing.’

‘That’s what people on the outside would say. They don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. They don’t know how miserable we are in our relationships. They only see what we let them see. And I feel the same. You’re the only man I’ve been physical with. Does it scare the shit out of me? Yes. I guess I’m just passed the point of no return. I’m over all the effort I’ve put into my relationship and being honest with him and *still* getting rejected. I’m over his lack of effort for counseling, individual and couples. His lack of effort on figuring out how to raise his T. Obviously it isn’t important to him.

And yes, I feel like I should just be happy with the life I have. I have a great life. My husband is a great man and my best friend. I know he’ll be a great dad someday. But how much of myself am I going to keep compromising and neglecting for everyone else? Sorry. I didn’t mean to go on a tangent. I’m just trying to say, your feelings are valid and I feel the same sometimes.

I’m here if you want to talk.’

‘Thank you.’

‘I mean it. I care about you. Maybe too much but too late.’

‘Thank you Emily. I care about you too.’

‘Have a good night.’

‘You too beautiful.’

The next day Emily and Micheal sat silently on the train and lightly chatted throughout the day. Emily was still feeling more emotional than she could handle so she decided to work from home Friday. She had enough hours in to log off early for the day and decided to let her creative mind flow. In twenty minutes she had written a special naughty story for Micheal and she sent it to him.

She didn’t know what to think of their “relationship” at the moment or where it was going, but she felt giddy at potentially turning him on at work. An hour later she got a text.

‘Fuck that was hot! You have me throbbing at work,’ Micheal messaged.

Emily blushed and giggled.

‘Glad you like it,’ she replied. ‘What did you like about it?’

‘It was so vivid and detailed. Also something that could likely happen ;)’

Emily moaned as she felt herself begin to get wet.

‘You are the reason my panties are perpetually wet.’

‘;)’

‘There are so many things I want to do to you.’

‘Mmmmm. Like what?’

‘Well, if I was at your office I would be perfectly happy kneeling in front of you right now. I’d kiss the tip of your beautiful cock before taking it all. The way. Down.’

‘Fuck. That sounds delightful.’

‘My tongue would hit all the right spots. I’d let you put your hands in my hair as I suck every last drop from you.’

‘Mmmmm. Emily I want you so bad right now.’

‘Well, we can fix that on Monday. ;)’

Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/eobw3s/strangers_on_a_train_pt_5