I’m a sick fuk, but I was lonely and didn’t have moisturizer. I looked online for substitutes and came across one for olive oil and was like, “shit dogg, why not?”.
I made my way to the kitchen like a fiend and grabbed the first bottle that had a label for “olive oil” on it. Without reading the rest, I made haste as time was of the essence…you can figure the rest out.
About ten seconds of bliss came over me and then the waves of **furious fire** started. I thought my dick was having an allergic reaction when I re-read the bottle just to make sure. Sure enough the label read, “Southampton Chilli-Pepper Olive Oil”.
It was a long night after that… unrelentingly painful. *So, remember kids… always read the fine print!*
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/e82b5n/m_i_jerked_my_johnson_with_chillipepper_olive_oil
I want to laugh and cringe in pain at the same time. Keep hot stuff away from non hot stuff. -him
A guy I knew once made a similar error by getting drunk, eating an extra-super-hot pizza, and going down on a woman. Thankfully not me. Always read the label, kids.
Did it feel like a trojan fire and ice condom? I tried one once in college, and NEVER AGAIN. It was terrible.
Dude. I used to wear contacts, and one day I was dicing jalapenos for chili. I thought I had washed my hands well enough before taking out my contacts, but
**OH MY FUCKING GOD THE BURNING! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP! IT WON’T FUCKING STOP! AAAAAAUGH!**
So yeah. You have my sympathies.