We’ve been together for about 7 months, both in our mid twenties, I’m 24 she’s 23. There was sort of a “dating” period where we weren’t committed, and might have seen some other people during this time (you can ask about that too if you want). Things have gone pretty well. Things have gone great actually, both feel secure in our relationship, both really into each other, great sex, and even with some arguments, or rough relationship moments, we get through it both with pretty level heads, and reasonable resolutions. There usually always comes that point in a relationship where that typical question comes up, “so how many people have you slept with?”
It’s almost like it’s inevitable, and can’t be avoided. I’ve had several semi-long term, to long term relationships in the past, most unhealthy, which is why those are my “exes”. So in every precious relationship, I’ve had that conversation, and usually didn’t really care to share, or be told. Truth be told, it did make me feel uncomfortable, but less so now. In the past the numbers were always usually close, maybe one of us has been with two or three more partners than the other, so it wasn’t really a big deal.
After probably a couple of months *that* conversation came up again, I wasn’t avoiding it, I just didn’t care. Really, what did it matter, but also since it did’t matter, what did it matter that I knew? Well, she knew I had been bouncing around, *mostly*, from relationship to relationship. So when I told her my number, which including her was 9, five semi-long, to long-term relationships, and four random hookups, well she didn’t at all seem bothered, but it also made sense to her. Now her number didn’t bother me, not really, but it was quite a bit higher than me, 25.
Which I guess made sense, she was never really in any relationship more than a few months, started having sex the same age as I did, and a lot of kids do in high school. So really, that was only about 3 different guys per year, while mine was more around an average of 1 per year. Looking at it in that context, and my most recent hookups that were random, all but one occurred right before I met her/when I met her and I was single, well I guess that average didn’t seem like it was a big deal. So sure, it was a little awkward to hear her number at 25, and that it as almost triple my total, but whatever, what did it matter? I **know** it would have bothered the hell out of me several years ago when I was younger, but I’ve grown, and matured. At least I think I had…
She somewhat recently moved in with a new roommate, and I was over hanging out while she had to go into work on her day off (had to help out a co-worker that needed the day off last minute), and she had asked me to help unpack a few boxes. Sure, no problem! What else was I doing on my day off? Not a lot. So I helped out unpacking a few, when I came across what I thought was a diary, looked like some sort of journal. I shouldn’t read it, maybe I wish I hadn’t, but curiosity got the better of me (I know, I’m a horrible fucking person okay!) so I opened it.
Long story short…it wasn’t really a diary, or a journal…per se. Instead, I guess the best way I can describe it was a sort of “fuck log” of **all** of the guys she had been with. And while I didn’t count them exactly, it’s ***easily*** more than 70! Ugh…made me feel sick to my stomach, I closed it and was shaking, felt ill, my heart was racing, mouth went dry. I put it down, closed it and put it back. I had a beer, okay a few, to try and calm my nerves. Ugh, was that real? I didn’t know what to do, so like a fucking idiot I went back to it, and I guess my line of thinking was to verify if it was even her hand writing, which it clearly is. Then were these stories, or “entries” even real? Turns out, I did come across some names I recognized of a few of her exes I was generally aware of.
So what comes next? I start fucking reading the entires! Like a moron! Jesus, it was graphic, and she had *very* detailed entries! If she didn’t flat out mention the size of the guy’s dick, which what the fuck?! I thought guys that had 8″+ dicks were **RARE!?** Seems like hardly any in there were under 8″! She just had an entry, probably because she either didn’t take a measurement (I just came to the realization she was probably holding a ruler, or tape measure up to some of these guy’s dicks to fucking measure them, them and then write it down!), or the guy didn’t exactly know how big he was to tell her. Instead she just had a descriptor next to the entry, which she seems to have for all of them: “Dick Size” 8.5″, or when it lacked that info her entries just said things like “Ouch!”, or “Too fucking big”.
Ugh…what the fuck do I do?
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/djd73c/mf_so_my_girlfriend_and_i_share_pretty_much
Well at least she’s detailed…I’d definitely suggest you both get tested for stds…but don’t hold this against her. Too bad she feels shame.
This sort of confirms the general theory that girls should cut a guys number in half, and guys should triple the number a girl tells them. Haha.
You say this question is inevitable. I’ve never had this question with a partner.
Is she fat?
What do you do? Stop snooping in her fucking stuff… Women have secrets…now you know what everyone else knows.?
There’s a lot of ways to be a good lover…unless your dick is really fuckin small…don’t stress over it.
Okay listen here. I know exactly what you need to do. I had a friend in a similar situation and this is how he got out of the rut. He kept it a secret that he found the cock log, but whenever he got a chance, he would photocopy the cock log and share it with others. This way he normalized it. You should totally share it with us and we will give you opinion on whether you should get over it or not. We’ll get through this together. Post the damn stories.
You’re definitely in a pickle, if you don’t say anything you will question everything, if you call her out you could easily end up fighting over it and end it. Basically you have to decide if she’s worth the effort. If she’s actually into being serious with you and is just adventurous with sex you’re good as long as she’s willing to be honest about herself. If not that would be a major red flag and there maybe more demons and ending it might be for the best.
I had a similar situation happen with my EX, personally I couldn’t get over it. I held in for 3 months before I said anything and ultimately ended the relationship. A relationship won’t last without trust (I broke going through her diary)and honesty (her lying about her sexual history). I don’t regret my decision
You read her diary so what it’s her past get on with your life together she is with you not them so she enjoys sex her past made her the person she is enjoy your time together and don’t bring it up or your jealousy will be shot down and may lose her
Don’t do anything…look at it this way: She’s enjoyed the wonderful world of dick, and she’s still riding yours. Let that sink in.
It means buddy, that you must have a pretty nice dick if she keeps choosing it over and over again for 7 months.
So don’t do anything, otherwise you’ll look insecure and that’s a giant turn off for women.
Girl inches, bud.
As long as yours was the last cock logged in the book then don’t do anything. She probably thought 25 was appropriate compared to your 9.
Maybe you should ask yourself why it bothers you in the first place. Is it a good reason or a petty reason?