32 [F4M] Texas/Online – I [F] consciously drove my husband [M] into the arms of another woman (his coworker). It turns me on. Would love advice on how to deal with this

This is a throwaway for obvious reasons, and honestly this is even a bit daring to post because my husband is a Redditor too, but I’m pretty sure he doesn’t check this subreddit (he just goes to a few hobby subs and all). Writing this all out sounds incredibly cheesy and weird too (the best combo), and pretty self-destructive, but I needed to get it off my chest. I even literally wrote this out in a word doc before posting here because I was unsure if it even made sense to post…

We’ve been together for 6 years, married for 2 years and dated for 4 (you did the math obvi). We met on a blind date and I honestly didn’t think he’d go for me at first – I’m a bit on the plain side and he’s really handsome and outgoing. The first date went just okay, and I actually deleted his number because I was like, “Well, that was a waste because he’ll never ask me for a second date!” but then a week later, he asked to go out again and the rest is history.

The sex was (and is, when it happens) great. He just seemed totally unlike most of the other guys I had been with – he’s definitely assertive in bed, knows exactly what he wants but also cares about my pleasure, is well-endowed and extremely passionate (and my god, best kisser ever). While most of my friends are complaining about their husbands’ lack of libido or how much of a dad bod they’re cultivating, I kinda just shrug because my husband stays fit and doesn’t lack in horniness for sure. Over the years, though, I’ve just kinda not been into sex as much, and also gained a few pounds, such that there’s a noticeable difference in terms of our sex drives. He’s definitely become more familiar with his hand, which I simultaneously feel guilty about but also feel is just part of growing older (not to give too much detail, but we’re in our early 30s).

He works as a software engineer for a fairly large company, and does really really well. I’ve been to maybe 3 promotion drinks for him over the past 2 years, if that gives any indication, and his success makes me super proud of him. In comparison, I work for a law firm as a paralegal, which is definitely not as fast-paced or income-earning, but it’s something I can do to contribute to our finances. We don’t have children and rent a nice apartment fairly close to both of our workplaces, and we’ll occasionally take trips abroad. We’re totally normal, non-judgmental people, who’ve never really done anything kinky or adventurous. Honestly it’s a pretty standard life, if not a little boring, which maybe in retrospect is why I did all of this…

Three months ago his team and a separate group went out for drinks for some project or something they did together (when my husband talks about work I zone out! it’s way over my head). I wasn’t doing anything and texted him that I’d meet him there in an hour, got there a little early and noticed that he was at the edge of the group with this woman, let’s call her Jenny. It was pretty clear they had been talking for quite some time, were in the midst of a conversation and really enjoying themselves. Now, I’m not the jealous type (clearly), and have no problem with my husband talking to other women at all, but I definitely noticed that they had way more chemistry than usual. I honestly can’t even describe it – it just felt like they clicked into place, you know?

First thing I noticed was how cute she is. If I were maybe a solid 6, she was a solid 8 or even 9 on a good day, I bet. Hell, I’d fuck her! Just kidding… But really, definitely a looker. And the second thing I noticed was no ring. And the third thing was how close they stood together. So, I walked up to say hi, introduce myself, etc., and even when I was standing like, 5 feet from them, my husband still didn’t look away from Jenny. She noticed me and said, “Excuse me, can I help you?” looking at me weird, and that’s when my husband was like “Heeeeyy” etc. etc., giving me a hug, being friendly and all… and then jumping right back into the conversation with Jenny. I stood there for around 30 minutes, not really saying much except the occasional “Wow” or “That’s cool” or a laugh, before I realized that he hadn’t really introduced me at all, even as his wife. When my husband went to the bathroom, she and I were standing there awkwardly and it quickly became apparent she a) thought I was weird, and b) thought I was his coworker. I didn’t really correct her (how much of a bitch would I have been if I had said, “Yeah I’m his wife, back off bitch.”), and we chatted for a bit before she got pulled into another group at the bar. I learned she’s in marketing, that she just met my husband a week ago, and that she was excited to start this big new project together that was apparently going to take months.

I never once told my husband that he hadn’t introduced me as his wife – I think he honestly just forgot or was caught in the moment. But I filed it away in my head and as time passed, I even started to imagine my husband with Jenny in bed, fucking her. How pretty she’d look with her legs spread and my husband jackhammering her, or her probably perfect tits bouncing up and down while riding him. I masturbated about it, felt guilty, did it again, felt even more guilty, but over time convinced myself that I had to see what would happen if I nudged my husband in her direction. Would they connect? Would he turn her down? I needed to see.

I’d say the past three months could be broken down into two parts: the first month, I did the only thing I knew how to do and completely denied him any sexual help. I blamed it on being tired, but our sex life went from minimal to absolutely nothing. And as a result, I saw his sex drive go up and up. He’d stay up late and get up early to jack off, he’d come home and make a beeline for the bathroom so he could knock one out before dinner. And the weekends, if we were just lazily hanging out? He probably jerked off four times one day, and trust me, I counted. Even in his 30s, my husband loves sex.

The second two months, give or take a few weeks… have been weird, life-changing and honestly shocking in a good and bad way. It all started when he would come home from work later and later each day for a whole two weeks, which sounds SO cliche but at the time didn’t really seem strange all at once. It crept up on me, and it was always some different excuse with the project he was working on. And then one night, early May, when it’s 9:30 fucking PM and dinner is so cold that it’s basically frozen and I’m texting him where the hell he is, he rushes through the door saying “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”, looking all disheveled (his sweater was the first thing I noticed because it was inside out), and he smelled… reeked!… of sex. As he sat there, eating my cold dinner, me smelling what I guess was her pussy all over him, he blamed it all on his late project. It was then that I realized that my husband was fucking his coworker, and honestly I wish I could’ve gone to the bathroom to touch myself right then and there…

Since then, it’s been the same, more or less – late nights, him rushing home, etc. It has been getting more serious, though… last Saturday he said he went to watch “the game” (although I never asked him which game…) with some of his friends, but I checked his phone this past Wednesday and I saw the text messages between them. Let’s just say it was graphic, but honestly I can’t say I’m angry or even THAT hurt. I’m upset he’s lying, I’m upset he seems less interested in me, but overall, much of our relationship and marriage has stayed the same. We still goof around on the weekends, he’s still the same lovable, hot guy I snagged… it just feels like this major new addition has been added to our lives. No one knows, and he doesn’t know I know, and only God knows how many times I’ve touched myself thinking about them.

How do I even start to handle this new dimension to my/our lives, though?

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/by4ypu/32_f4m_texasonline_i_f_consciously_drove_my