[FMF] Watching my BF with another woman turns me on part 1.

I’ve been with my boyfriend since high school. We’re both in our late 20s and honestly I think that we’re inseparable. At the start our relationship wasn’t very steady as we were on and off a lot. I’ve been with other guys but I’ve never had as much passion or obsession as I have with him and him with me. We’re literally crazy for each other and its like my boyfriend said we’re addicted to each other. It doesn’t matter how bad the break up/fight is or how long we’re apart from each other or who we’re with, we both won’t be able to stop thinking about each other.

I know its very strange and unhealthy but I don’t really “live” unless I’m with him. Without him my life just feels bland and emotions just aren’t as strong. Feelings of love, anger, happiness, sadness, arousal, are just muted. I’ve come to terms with it and stopped trying to run from it because I know that I’ll never feel this way with anyone else. And I know its the same for him as well.

It comes as no surprise that I’m in love with him and obsessed with my boyfriend. I can get very jealous and petty (him too) whenever another girl is around him. He’s very handsome and charming so there’s always a tendency for girls to flock towards him. As far as I know he has never cheated on me. I know I should trust him but my own insecurities and paranoia can be a bit much too handle sometimes. But this is kind of where my fantasies started.

We broke up after a big fight during college and it seemed like the end. He cut contact with me and moved on with his life and I did the same as well. I did whatever I could to put him out of my mind, focused on my school work and friends, tried dating this one cute guy but that didn’t work out. And for years (multiple YEARS) we went our separate paths. When a thought about him creeped in my mind I quickly snuffed it, he had me blocked on social media so even if I wanted to snoop I couldn’t, and I did my best to not ask about him with our mutual friends. But even still part of me missed him and sometimes I dreamed about us and I hated that.

And then one day on facebook I saw a picture of him with a group of friends from a mutual friend of ours. I still remember the feeling of adrenaline and my heart racing when I saw his face for the first time in years. Even if it was just a picture it still had a stupid profound effect on me. He was at a bar celebrating someones birthday and around his arm was a girl and my heart kind of just sank. She was really pretty and had a nicer body than I did and this and that. Her facebook profile was tagged in it and shamefully I started going through her social media. The one thing about my bf is he doesn’t like having his picture taken and rarely posts/use social media and so there wasn’t much surprise when I couldn’t find anything about him in her profile. But that girl on the other hand posts her whole life story and whorey instagram pictures of herself and seeing just how popular she was destroyed me that night.

I admit I was kind of obsessed with this girl hoping that through her I could get a peek at my ex-boyfriend’s life. How he was doing, what was going on in his life, etc. And more importantly if she was with him. I lurked through her social media every now and then like a creepy stalker. (which I probably was) This is pretty embarrassing to admit but I also started taking up more fitness classes to tone my tummy and get a nicer ass because of my own petty jealousy of her.

Now heres something about me that just about nobody except my ex knows. I have a humiliation fetish. My friends and family see me as prude because I had this demeanor about me that rarely suggest I even like sex/am a prude. I loved it when he would call me a closet slut and how no one would even suspect that I worship his cock, how wet I get, how much I love anal, how I masturbate and watch hentai/porn, etc. And I think my kink had something to do with what happened next.

One night I had a dream about her and my ex. I dreamed that I saw them at the mall. They went into a clothing store and snuck together into the changing booth like we used to when we were much younger. And I knew in the pit of my stomach what they would do in there. And the dream me wanted to burst in there and drag her away from him but I’m too afraid of confrontation. And then I woke up and my face was hot and I felt like crying but my underwear was soaked. I was turned on thinking about how this more attractive female would be more pleasurable to him than me. How she could suck his cock better than I could, how much more he enjoyed her body than mine. And I touched myself that night thinking about it.

After that night I was hornier than I’ve ever been before. I couldn’t stop masturbating and I kept thinking up of more and more situations with them in it. After a week of this I finally calmed down and was just so ashamed and broke down and blocked her social media to try and stop myself from going down this hole. And then time went on and I started living life normally again. I met some more guys to try and get over him completely, I made new friends and got a job as an programmer for a start up. Work kept me incredibly busy and I got obsessed with stardew valley and so I thought about him less and less.

But despite my best efforts, and time he would always just be there in the back of my mind. Even when I met a cute guy and was excited and happy to be with him it wasn’t even close as how excited, nervous and happy I was with my ex. Months went on with my new boyfriend until one day I found out he cheated on me and I was angry and sad. But the truth was that it didn’t even come close to how I felt seeing that picture of my boyfriend with that girl. I dumped him and moved on without a second thought about it.

And then one night he called me.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/bwaeka/fmf_watching_my_bf_with_another_woman_turns_me_on