[F] My neighbor found me on Facebook and harassed me for masturbating too loudly UPDATE!!

If you haven’t read the original story, read that first: https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/ayh5no/f_my_neighbor_found_me_on_facebook_and_harassed/

Update: after the previous ordeal a week ago, I was sure to be on my absolute best behavior noise-wise. Walking more quietly, listening to music or the TV at a lower volume and definitely no bed-banging masturbation sessions; I am a very considerate person, and if I believe that I am in any way possibly at fault in a situation, I will amend my actions. Having done so, I assumed I was out of the woods in dealing with issues with this lady.

Last night I am going to bed quietly as usual, the only possible noises of which were me WALKING IN THE BEDROOM AND GETTING IN BED, LOOKING AT MY TABLET OR PHONE, OR ME ROLLING OVER IN MY BED, and I RECEIVE ANOTHER FACEBOOK MESSAGE FROM THE HAG (she’s since been blocked) SAYING “YOU WAKE ME UP EVERY NIGHT. YOU HAVE A PROBLEM.” (WTF?! MY ONLY PROBLEM IS YOU/I THINK YOU HAVE A PROBLEM OF INSANELY LIGHT SLEEPING) I ignore the message and go back to sleep ON THE COUCH for fear of this crazy woman.

A few hours later I decide to block her because I don’t need to be woken up in the middle of the night seeing messages from her anymore. So then a few hours later from that, THIS CRAZY BITCH COMES UPSTAIRS TO MY HOUSE. Knocks on my door like the police, I don’t answer. She does again, I say fuck it and answer. I say “I don’t know what your problem is now,” she says stuff like “I HEAR YOU BOTH CUMMING (LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO)” and “I HEARD SOMEONE LEAVE AROUND MIDNIGHT” (SO THE FUCK WHAT? YOU DIDN’T BUT GUESTS ARE OFF LIMITS? WASN’T AWARE). She says “10 PM IS YOUR CUTOFF TIME” LOL!!!!!! She threatens to start recording “it” (nothing to record other than the bed creaking from me changing SLEEPING POSITIONS xD) and CALL THE POLICE. I simply say “you’re crazy” and she retreats down to her dungeon while singsong shouting “YOU’RE A WHOREEEEEEE” I literally can’t make this up. This is my life. These are my stories.

I’m shaken by this whole direct confrontation enough that I call my landlord. He comes over and I tell him the whole situation, which started a week ago. He basically says he can’t believe someone would do that to me, that I’ve been nothing but a good tenant, and tells me to tell them “I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE.” He says what I do upstairs is MY business, that they have one more person living downstairs than they really should anyway, and that jealousy or ulterior motives may factor in to this woman’s craziness. I literally could not have written a better response if I asked.

TL;DR: My bitch of a downstairs neighbor will be getting evicted for false reporting me to the police if she continues to take issue with normal living noises inside my home in an apartment/shared wall situation.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/b09yfv/f_my_neighbor_found_me_on_facebook_and_harassed

13 comments

  3. Wow, this update post just got my blood boiling. Thank god your landlord is understanding. She is clearly crazy. Keep her blocked, and don’t answer her banging on your door ever again. If she harassed you, call the landlord. OY!

  4. Yoooooooo. My wife and I had a similar issue. We got a now 2+ (3 in June) yr old son and there was an OLD BITCH who harped and harped and harped with us because we had to get up for our son in the middle of the night. Now im not exactly light (280) and she has health issues that mean her steps are heavier. She bitched to the point cops were called and we had multiple “cease and disist” letters. We ended up moving across the hall. But I feel for ya

  7. Wow, reminds me of my old downstairs neighbor.

    She also complained that I made noise “all day every day.” Bitch I work a 9 to 5, that’s impossible.

  8. The husband is cheating in the other room or someone else is louder than you….? That’s my guess. Idk, I’m intrigued.lol

  9. She obviously wants to join. When she says she hears you both cumming, she means she needs it too. That’s why she mentioned her bad relationship, she wants one with you.

  10. What an insane story. First off I want to apologize to you on her behalf. You don’t deserve that at all. Her anger is clearly derived from her own individual issues. Continue to do what makes you happy and try to ignore her as best you can. She’s probably going through a mid-life crisis lol. Just remember that you don’t owe anybody shit. I am glad to hear that your landlord is understanding.

  11. My mother in law travels a lot. She had a crazy lady upstairs who would complain about all the noise she was making WHEN SHE WASN’T EVEN THERE, and hadn’t been in weeks… lol

  12. Next time she hears you cumming with your phantom lover invite her over for a threesome. Tell her that you can tell that she needs to get fucked good and hard. Tell her that your lover would love to pound her ass until she can’t walk anymore. Ask her if she wants you to call her the next time he is over.

Comments are closed.