[F]inally ready to talk about it

Hello, I wanted to anonymously talk about what happened to me, when I was raped by 2 guys several times over the course of a night.
I guess I finally am ready to talk about it. I think about it daily and weirdly am turned on thinking about it now after a long time of being very depressed.
What happened was that I was on a 6 day backpacking trip by myself. Middle of nowhere in a state park/national park. I briefly talked with the 2 guys earlier in the day as we passed each other on a trail at a lake. They were early 30s I’d say, foreign. German I guess. They both wore wedding rings. I think they were brothers. We briefly talked for a few minutes about the area and another nearby lake as I ate my lunch. Looking back I was stupid to tell them I was by myself and of my itinerary.
Later that evening several miles down trail I set up a backcountry camp for the night at another alpine lake and went to bed. Next thing I know, after not being asleep long I woke up to them, I didnt even comprehend what was happening until it was happening. They were in my tent holding me down before I could even do anything. There was nothing I could do there was two of them. They held me down, put a bandana in my mouth an duck taped it in. They ripped my clothes and broke my tent. They took turns raping me vaginally and anally without condoms while the other held me down. I fought back as hard as I could at first for a while but there was literally no way for me do anything, and it was like the more I fought back the more agressive they got. They hit me hard. They eventually put tent stakes through my tent floor and used my own gear to tie my hands and legs open. At that point I went into crying begging mode and they just laughed at me. At a certain point I guess I just kinda went numb and waited it out. They took breaks to smoke and drink my alcohol. It lasted until morning. When they were done and left they thanked me, and left me tied up and stole my boots and phone. I ended up hiking 3 miles back to my car in just socks.
It was a very hard thing for me to get over, I became severly depressed for a while.
I find myself now thinking about it in an aroused sort of way and just wanted to tell my story anonymously.
In some odd way now after the fact I am aroused in a weird way by thinking out it. Is this normal to feel like this?

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/acw6x3/finally_ready_to_talk_about_it