My friend fucked me, and i can’t process why [MF]

Backstory:
Back in the first years of university, we had a pretty close group of friends from various part of the country. We studied together, had lunch, had parties, some had stories, the usual stuff for young students.
In this group there was this girl, short, blonde, blue eyes, a couple of round, firm tits, and the look of the innocent girl who shine as a very fun slut once you know her better.
I wasn’t particularly close to her, we never shared intimate confession, nor i ever tried to approach her, first because she looked way out of my league, second because she had a serious history with a guy.
We both finish our studies, she goes back to her hometown, while i stay working in the university town.

Fast forward up to last week.
We are both in our early 30s, now, and the whole group reunite after some years for a pasty hosted by a common friend . She’s a grown woman now, she even has a baby from his long term boyfriend.
From the very beginning of the party, she start acting strange, spending most of the time talking to me, sharing confession, even intimate ones, from her life with me and asking for advice. I am a good listener, and the conversation is pleasing, so I start share something mine too.
The party goes on as usual, we all had fun and at some point in the evening we both had to leave early.
We have our cars parked a couple of blocks away so I offer her to walk to her car to keep her company. At that point, I was probably starting to feel something, but i hadn’t fully grasp it yet.
Arrived at her car, she offer me to enter inside to finish our last chat, becaus it’s startin to freeze in the night, and i happily accept.
We chat for a bit, then she offers me a lift to my car that was in a car park nearby. I gladly accept, she took me there, and we continue to chat about very intimate stuff for a while, then when it was time to leave, i leaned towards her to gave her a goodbye kiss on a cheek and a hug, and to my surprise, she kiss me back, pushing her tongue in my mouth, and looking at me with such a hot gaze that i could immediately start to feel my cock pushing in the jeans.
Now, i have a history of not being able to tell when a girl is interested in me. Not that I consider myself ugly or what, i probably just have low self esteem and whatnot, and I probably have missed a few signal during the night, but this was was kinda unequivocal.
We made out for a while, while she guide my hands on her body, where i could feel that firm breast that many times i fantasized about. She’s warm as hell despite the freezing temperature outside, and while my hand reached her tigh, her is stumbling with my belt to free my cock from the jeans prison.
I helped her, pushing my seat all the way back, and she jumped on her knees on the driver seat, leaning towards me and starting one of the most intense blowjob I ever received, turning her head sideways to stare at me with her deep blue eyes.
I reached for her panties, and realize she’s wearing stockings, not pantyhose. Her pussy was warm and already throbbing. I played a little while with his clit, enjoying her moaning while she still was busy sucking me off, then i slide my finger inside her, in her extremely wet hole, starting a slow fingering session. I’m not sure, but i’m pretty confident she came after a few seconds.
In a while, she jumped over me, lifting her skirt and moving her panties sideways, impaling herself on my rock hard cock. I opened her skirt, sucking on her pointy, light coloured nipples while she’s holding back screams of pleasure, because we’re still in a parking lot, altought desert and late at night.
After a few moments, i had to change position because i was extremely close to cum, and I didn’t want to cum inside her, and not that soon, so we switched, placing her on her back in the passenger seat, lifting her leg in the air and start to penetrate her with long, slow thrust, that we both enjoy every one of them. After some minutes that felt like days and instant at the same time, i can feel her orgams coming, so i accellerate, watching her actually shaking, in one of the most intense orgasm i ever saw.
I pulled my cock out, shooting my cum in long, pumping shots, that covered her skirt, her shirt, her boobs, and her face.
I kissed her cum covered face in a deep, passionate kiss, and in a matter of seconds, the spell was broken.
We cleaned ourself at the best, dressing back awkwardly in silence, and after the goodbye kiss, i reached my car while she left towards her home.
We spoke a little while late that night, and we both agree to never mention it again. I understand her, but that’s a bummer, because i’m already horny and rock hard just reading this.
That’s life, I suppose.

Just want to share this with someone, sorry for the broken english here and there.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/a5rzib/my_friend_fucked_me_and_i_cant_process_why_mf