a silent encounter in the dark ([F]34, [M]35)

K and I only dated for a few months, and even after we fell out of touch I still wanted him. I knew he couldn’t give me what I wanted emotionally, but on a much more primal, physical level we were perfect for each other. His cock fit inside my cunt as if by design. Yes, sometimes it hurt, but a tight fit tinged with a bit of pain is always sweeter. I was physically drawn to him in a way that completely short-circuited my brain. His smell, the texture of his skin, the shape of his tongue and how he made me quiver… all details I continued to obsess over after we stoped dating.

One evening some time after we had broken up, an uber was carrying me home. I was sexting with someone else and feeling bored. I was also feeling ambitious and also a little sorry for myself (a natural consequence of imbibing gin), I texted K the following message on a whim: “I still fantasize about you. I want you to enter my apartment while I’m sleeping and have your way with me. I will be wet as soon as you pull the sheets back. I don’t want either of us to speak. I want you to give me your cum and leave. If you want to do this, text me just “tonight” on a day that suits you and I will respond with instructions how to access my apartment.”

My desire for him was overwhelming, but he had hurt me so I wanted to withhold some part of myself from him in the silence and darkness of my bedroom. I didn’t want him to be able to see my face, hands, or feet – three of his favorite features. I wanted the essence of him- his body- without any intellectual or emotional entanglement.

Last night he responded to my text, ten days after I sent it. As promised, I told him how to get through the front gate, and the passcode to my front door. I told him I didn’t want to know when he was coming but that I’d go to sleep early.

I was excited and nervous as I got into bed. I left a glass of ice water for him on the table by the door. I wondered if the ice would fully melt before he arrived. I was also prepared for the fact that he might not come at all given how cowardly he was at the end of our relationship. I sprayed a light touch of Chanel perfume between my breasts and ever so gently rubbed my clit. I was already wet. I tossed and turned for more than an hour, and actually drifted off at one point. I couldn’t fully fall asleep- I was too aware of my own arousal, and also of my large breasts that would normally have been tucked away in a cotton sleeping bra.

I heard him coming in to my apartment. I closed my eyes and even though I was wide awake I tried to relax my body and assume some sort of natural sleeping pose. I heard him undress. Was my hearing normally this acute? I wanted to say his name. I wanted to sit up, tun on the light, put my glasses on, and greet him with a smile and a kiss. But I didn’t move. I was laying on my side, facing the wall. the blankets were just to my shoulders. I could feel my arousal intensify into a throb. I wondered if he knew I was awake. He sat on the edge of the bed and put his hand on my shoulder, rolling me on to my back. Before I had even fully turned his mouth was on my nipple. I didn’t want him to see my face but I would not deny him access to my breasts. From the moment we met he was obsessed with my large 36hh breasts… and not letting him touch them would have been too cruel. I reached to him, and rested my hand on his rib cage. I could feel his heart beating wildly. K was one of the most aloof and detached men I’ve ever been with – as cold as ice when he wanted to be. Impossible to read. Unwilling to open up. So to feel his nervousness and excitement in a way that he could not conceal struck me with a pang of desire I haven’t felt in years.

In the moments while his mouth moved from my breasts, to my mouth, to my pussy, my hands reached for him, trying to pull him closer. In the darkness where touch was all we had, I have never wanted to be taken, consumed, and deeply fucked more. I could feel his pulse in his cock while I touched it and I knew he was too impatient to make me cum with his tongue. He positioned himself between my legs and sharply inhaled while he rubbed the head of his cock between my clit and cunt. I felt dizzy with desire and while he entered me, excruciatingly slowly, I lifted my hips to entice him in deeper. He grabbed my ankles and put the soles of my feet together and rested them on his chest – a favorite position of his. He was thrusting into me, I was moaning and completely senseless with pleasure. I needed more. I unfolded my legs and wrapped them around him, pulling him down closer to me into a true missionary position. He knew that I wanted his mouth. He kissed my lips and I thought I could die I was so overwhelmed with fulfillment. He kissed my neck and nipples. I felt his forearms tense considerably and I would have done anything to hear him say my name as he came. Instead he pulled out of me, torture in that moment of emptiness, and grabbed my hips to rotate me into the yoga position of Child’s Pose.

He paused behind me. I couldn’t see anything, I had no idea what he was doing. I could hear him breathing. I don’t know how much of me he could see in the pitch blackness. My breath caught as I anticipated a spanking. Instead his hands landed lightly on my ass, and he caressed my skin and followed the curve of my ass to my hips. He was touching me as if he were a sculptor and I was made of clay, his hands running up and down, inward and outward following the contours of my hourglass shape. I felt as though he was in a trance and I never wanted it to end. And then I felt his hardness again. How did this man know exactly where my pussy was? He slid inside me as if I had drawn him a map. Again I was overwhelmed with the feeling of fullness and completeness. His pace quickened, his hands gripping my hips. I could feel him shaking and I knew It would be over soon. I wasn’t ready. I thought for a fleeting moment about moving forward, away from him. But I wasn’t in control, he was. With one final thrust and exhaling through gritted teeth I knew he was cumming. I thought, how can I make this moment last? However long it lasted – 5 seconds? 30? I was measuring time with his breaths. He slowly pulled out of me and collapsed next to me. I stretched my legs out and rested on my side with my back to him. I wanted nothing more than to turn to him and bury my face in his neck but I knew I’d never forgive myself to giving in to what my heart wanted. My heart was supposed to be irrelevant tonight. So I rested on my side, trying to fight off some sense of dread that I could not explain. He leaned into me, nuzzling my neck, caressing my hip. He didn’t have to pull me towards him. Before I could stop myself I rolled on to my back and he cupped my breasts. I could feel his breath on my face. I could feel his cum slowly seeping out of my cunt, warm and sticky. I stayed on my back. I did not turn towards him fully. I still couldn’t see him. He leaned and kissed me deeply, briefly, and then got out of bed. After he dressed he came back and kissed me again. It was all at once too much and not enough. The feeling of fullness and emptiness was unbearable. And then he left.

Neither one of us had spoken a word.

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/97ck2u/a_silent_encounter_in_the_dark_f34_m35

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