TL/DR: Started using OKC after a four year sexless stretch. I’ve had good experiences and learned five valuable lessons (so far). Stay positive! Romance takes many forms and isn’t always goal oriented.
I read a lot of posts by people with bad OKC experiences so I wanted to share a good experience and maybe bring some hope to the internet. This is different than my other stories, but I’m a real person and not just your porn pal, yo.
**About Me**
I was a workaholic. I had a high pressure/high profile job and overbearing boss that was too interested in my personal life. For a long time I didn’t have time or energy for dating. I just watched the internet p0rns and masturbated like crazy. I never met ppl online; I assumed OKC, Tinder, POF was only useful for either one-night stands or marriage. Neither interests me.
I like my independence. I don’t want a provider and I don’t want to take care of someone else. I hate one-nighters. I’m kinky so I need to trust and be comfortable with my partner. I want something in between marriage and one-and-done. That used to be called dating, but whatever.
I was laid off suddenly and I had all this extra time to recharge. I traveled, hosted game nights for my friends, read a ton of books. I sorta came back to life, with more interest and passion for my friends, family and spirituality than ever before.
**Intro 2 OKC**
When we’d get together, my best friend would preach the gospel of OKC. As we talked, it came to light it been at least four years of no sex for me! My BFF was worried that this long stretch was making me harsh, judgmental. She calls me out on my shit (that’s what friends are for) so I took her concerns seriously. She urged me to build a profile and be blunt about my needs and expectations. I was reluctant but I agreed.
I took time to think about it and then crafted one helluva profile. It may have turned out a little sex heavy, but I didn’t know any better. I just wanted to be efficient. I laid out my kinks and expectations and posted it out into the universe.
That was in March. Today, just call me Aladdin cause it’s a whole new world.
**A new fantastic point of view**
The first guy was an 83% match. We chatted and shared life stories. I met him for drinks and he checked all the normalcy boxes. He was fascinating to talk to but his kinks didn’t overlap with mine. I didn’t feel an attraction, but I was out on a date, woo hoo!
I got a little tipsy and ended up whynot fucking him in the empty bar parking lot (klassy, I know). We made out against his car beneath a street light. I could feel his stiff hard-on pressing urgently against my sex, his hands squeezing my breasts. I turned around, rubbing my round ass against his hips. I hiked up my skirt, bent over and offered him my soaked self. “Fuck me right here, right now,” I drunkenly giggled.
What do you want? It had been four years!
*Lesson One: Don’t drink on the first date.*
The second guy though, (94% match) he was a real live cowboy who loved to read. A handsome, ranging, horse riding, cattle-driving cowboy with a philosophical heart. He was deep like the ocean and I wanted to drown in his passion, sensitivity, intelligence…. and fine ass body.
When we kissed, I was overcome by a pounding electric rush of endorphins. The world dropped away and there was nothing else but our embrace. I realized then that I had forgotten.
I had forgotten the blinding burn of sexual chemistry. I had forgotten the breathless rush that propels the human race towards relentless procreation. It wasn’t just being touched, just sex, just getting off, but this intense, undefinable, crazy-making CHEMISTRY that incessantly drives us restless humans together like storm waves crashing against jagged rocks.
Fucking pheromones.
I’d also never been prone-boned before. I didn’t even know that existed. So sorry I missed out on that for as long as I did. Thanks Cowboy, dem wrangling skillz sure come in handy *hat tip*
It’s a lucky thing he only lives locally half the year, otherwise old habits woulda kicked in and I woulda boyfriended up that sexy mofo.
*Lesson Two: Chemistry. How could I forget? It affects my reason, but there’s so, so much more to experience when there’s chemistry. Also…be informed, girl.*
The fourth and fifth guy were fun, but I probably should have taken more time to get to know them before *knowing* them. Fourth guy (68%) was hard to read, had beautiful green eyes, and didn’t eat the kitty. He kept forgetting condoms, so while he’d get an enthusiastic sloppy swallowing BJ, I’d go home wet and wanting. I’m too nice! It got me into the habit of carrying my own condoms, but still, lame!
He owned multiple guns. I laid down on top of the one he kept in his bed before he remembered to put it away. I couldn’t tell if he was a nice person beneath a tough exterior or hard all the way through, but weaponry under the pillow could be considered a hint.
Fifth guy (73%) was so sweet and stayed hard forever but (bless his heart) he was so dumb. He even told me straight up, “I’m not smart at all.” I didn’t believe him at first, but once he started saying stupid shit…then I had to believe him.
*Lesson Three: Trust the algorithm. Trust my observations. People show you who they are. I will believe what I see and not imagine motivations or excuses for behavior. When people tell me who they are, I will listen.*
*Lesson Four: I’m not gonna get to know anyone correctly if I’m simultaneously macking on 7 guys.*
The sixth guy (90%) had a huge member. Like a kielbasa, I swear, with a fat mushroom head. He was eloquent, thoughtful and complimenting, but his big boi was initially a turn off. I’ve always been intimidated by pythons. But I thought, “Hey! How do you know for sure if you don’t give it a try?” I gave him a whirl, he let me set the depth, pace, position. I tried my best but it was literally, physically, not a good fit.
*Lesson Five: Be open to new experiences but acknowledge when someone isn’t the right fit. Don’t try to force it.*
Wait, what about the third guy? Whew, he deserves his own post. I’m still learning his lesson.
**The takeaway**
I admit I’m not the average girl looking for a ring and 2.5 kids, but knowing myself and being upfront about my wants has yielded positive results. If there are people out there afraid to try: **GO FOR YOURS**. If there are people disappointed by their prospects: **KEEP AT IT**. Romance takes many forms and it isn’t always goal oriented. Sometimes these human interactions are providing enriching life lessons. Good luck and stay positive!
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/8z2ldb/f_my_okc_adventures
The struggles are real. As a dude looking for a girl who wants no kids, no marriage, and currently in the bible belt. It’s a fucking nightmare dating more than a few dates for the aforementioned facts come up, and it turns in to a waste of time. Best wishes on your adventures.
I love your writing. Really. So open and unaffected.
You know you’re getting old AF when you think you’re about to read about some adventures in Oklahoma City.
You didnt even need to verify. You could tell you were real from your last post. Great stories. Keep it up.
You’re a very talented writer. This isn’t just sexy, it’s engaging. I’m not much for trusting the algorithm on that site–some of my best experiences were under 50% matches. But your other lessons are great. Loved reading this. Being compelled to read every word to the end is rare here.
I normally lurk and enjoy the stories, but I just wanted to tell you that I appreciated this.
I’m a fellow (although not fellow anymore?) 5-years-dry already divorced guy just trying to get back out there and wanting something between the one-night stand and marriage. Actually seeing something from a similar woman’s point of view is enlightening. Thanks!
I had no idea how much I needed to read something like this, so thank you for your time and effort in writing it.
Also, I’m jealous of your apparent ability to reflect and synthesize the lessons to be learned. I’ve always been both emotionally aware, and intensely analytical/logical; you would think that would make me really good at the “learning lessons” thing, but instead those two traits just overcompensate for each other and leave me in a nigh-perpetual state of being unable to see the forest because all these damn trees are in the way. Your insights are valued.