That time my date [F]rom the internet was way too hot for [M]e

It all started with one of those dating websites. I opened my account one day to find that a very, very (x6) attractive girl (Jasmine P.) had, “liked”, “matched, “swiped right” or said “hey” (being vague as to not endorse a specific site) to my profile. I eagerly checked out her profile, and like most guys I instantly went through all her pics. If this was really her, she was fucking (excuse my nearly flawless French) gorgeous. Way too hot for me, for sure. But whatever, we’re soul mates I bet. I bet she read my profile and we had so many common interests that she saw past my unconventionally average to medium good looks and decided we should make babies together.

So I stared at her pics for a few more minutes before reading down her page. She had taken quite a bit of care to fill out every detail, sub-section and favorite that the site asked for. As I read though, my hopes of an instant connection and babies faded, as I realized we were total opposites. She liked fine dining, art, traveling and expensive things, and I like making furniture, drinking beer in dive bars and watching countless hours of sci-fi movies and tv. At some point I came to realize our connection must have been a technical error made by the internet gremlins.

Resigned to my newfound despair, I decided to send her a quick message through the site

Me: “Hey Jasmine, I saw that you liked my profile. And while I think you could quite possibly be the most beautiful girl on the internet, we clearly are horribly wrong for each other, as I’m far too boring for you. Best of luck in your search!”

I pushed my keyboard away in disgust and turned my head to the Futurama episode playing in the background, when, within only a few minutes, there was a ping of a new message from my computer.

Jasmine: “Hey there Restless_13, How dare you make assumptions about me and what I want in a man. Sure, it makes sense to draw a few conclusions based on our profiles, but they’re only a glimpse at a person’s soul. I’m a strong believer that you only really get to know someone in person. Ask me to meet you for a drink, unless you’re scared? Oh, and thank you for the compliment.”

My shallow, only based on looks, heart leaped in my chest and I quickly wrote her back. We had a decent back and forth and then decided to meet for drinks on Thursday night.

She picked a very swanky cocktail bar in a well-off part of town. A little on the high end of my budget, but it wasn’t going to keep me from the date. I got there first, and the place was dimly lit, filled with small tables meant for two, with three quarters of them empty. There was low level music playing from speakers along the ceiling, but not too loud to disrupt anyone’s conversations. I had a seat, and the waitress/bartender got me a Manhattan.

Then she walked in… She looked like an Indian goddess. She was 5’8”, but wearing heels that made her nearly 6 foot, light brown skin, dark eyes and even darker eye lashes. She was wearing a knee length black dress that was slightly lose on her slender body, it showed off her long legs and flawless shape. She had a slender figure but with the right amount of curves where it counts. She seriously looked like she could have been a model or an actress, her pictures didn’t do her justice. For the sake of knowing how we matched up. I’m 6’1”, 200 lbs on a good day, white, dark hair and eyes, with a medium build. So, thankfully, I was still taller than her in her heels.

She sat down, and when the bartender came over she said “I’ll have whatever he’s having”, without even asking what it was. She was cool, confident and instantly relaxed. We started talking and there was an instant playful chemistry. She laughed at my jokes, and I laughed at hers. She had a ton of questions about my work and wanted to know lots of details, and I was getting the impression I knew why she liked my profile. She worked in television, behind the scenes, and that was a totally different world to where I was coming from. I’m a full-time nerd and work in a nerd related field, but she seemed like she had a thing for nerds.

We talked a lot and things were going great and then suddenly they weren’t. She got a series of text messages that she “had to reply to”. Then a phone call from her assistant. I mean, I was totally impressed that she had an assistant, but it’s a bit rude to take a call in the middle of a date. Maybe it was that call beautiful women have their friends make during the date so they can nope the fuck out, if need be. But her call went on for 15+ minutes and I was starting to get restless (hey, that’s my username). When she came back, she started talking to me about her work, and telling me all the celebrities she knew. It became a very one sided conversation, with lots of name dropping. I was losing interest, it was going south. Uggh.. I was back to thinking we didn’t have anything in common.

I think she could sense my lack of focus/interest, because suddenly, she waved the waitress over

Jasmine: “Can we get two more Manhattans, and can you make his stronger than mine?”

Me: “Are you trying to get me drunk?”

Jasmine: “Maybe… No.. Maybe just a little.”

Then she smiled at me and it lit up the room. And I started drinking my drink. She sipped at her second drink and the conversation was hit or miss from there on. She would tell me about traveling from location to location for work. Eating at 5 star restaurants, and dining with A and B-list celebrities. And I would tell her about nerdy stuff, sitting on my couch, and eating at 2.5 star restaurants. I think as the night went on, I just had totally convinced myself she was out of my league, call it self awareness or insecurity, I’m not sure which it was. I don’t know if she wasn’t used to not getting what she wanted, or she just mistook my confusion for why I was here, for disinterest. Because she just seemed to try harder and talk more and faster the less into the date I seemed.

Then.. a song come on at the bar. It was an older song, and I knew it right away and I think I must have moved my head to the beat because she was like “Oh, I love this song, Massive Attack is so great”. I give her a bit of a crazy look. And replied “Umm… This is a Sneaker Pimps song. Massive Attack doesn’t even have a girl singer”. She corrects me, because I guess they did for a short while. But she sticks to her guns on who sings this song. We go back and forth on it a few times, it’s actually getting pretty heated, if there’s one thing that’s certain about this woman, she hates to be wrong.

Jasmine: “Look, In college I worked for a music production company, I think I know music a little better than a you”

Me: “but…but… I know I’m right. I actually know I’m right. I don’t care where you worked”

Jasmine: “It’s so cute that you think you’re right”.

Me: “It’s cute how you have no idea you’re wrong”

Jasmine: “Fine…put some money on it. If I’m right, you have to take me to dinner at (she said some restaurant I’d never heard of, that was probably very fancy and doesn’t carry the brand of chicken nugget I prefer)”

Me: “And when I’m right?”

Jasmine: “Duh, you can have this” (as she waved her hands up and down her dress and laughed, like there wasn’t a chance).

Me: “I already have that exact same dress at home, so you’ll need to do better”

Jasmine: “I mean what’s under it…”

Me: “Deal”

She called the bartender over and asked if she knew the music playing, but she didn’t as it was some service the bar owner subscribed to. But the bartender walked back over a minute later because she had one of those apps on her phone that told her the song that was playing. She set her phone on our table and waited a minute, then the “Sneaker Pimps: 6 under ground” showed on the screen. Jasmine’s face dropped and went blank. Her beautiful brown skin went white and she stammered for a moment trying to find her words. Then she smiled and laughed and looked at me.

Jasmine: “Not tonight though… you have to wait, until we know each other better”.

Me: “What if you don’t like me, then I don’t ever collect on my bet”
She got pale again

Me: “Don’t worry, I’m just happy to be right, even though I never worked in the music business”

Jasmine: “Fuck you”

Me: “I have to wait until we know each other better”

She laughed and gave me an evil look. The conversation was casual after that and suddenly she said “Lets go somewhere… Let’s walk on the beach”. The beach was only 2 blocks from the bar, but it’s not the nicest part of the beach and too crowded in by the city and nightlife. As we left, I pointed out that a couple miles up would be better for a quiet walk and she agreed. So we walked to my car and drove a couple miles up. She let out a quip “Oh, you have a Honda, I had one in college, they’re cute”. My insecurity told me this was because she was used to much nicer cars. But whatever.. Let’s go walk on the beach with this hot girl.

So, I parked just inside the parking lot of a small park that ran next to the beach. It was nearing midnight on a Thursday night, so it was empty except for a truck that looked like something someone lived in. So I parked as far away from that as possible. She left her heels in the car and out of her purse pulled two flip flops out (clever girl) and we walked down to the beach. Without her heels she was a little less intimidating and when we got to the beach there was a cold breeze that instantly chilled us both. While the cold was uncomfortable (62 degrees F / 16.6 C – That’s Southern California cold people, don’t judge.). It made her take my arm and lean into me as we walked. I took this as a sign, and turned around and wrapped my arms around her, pulled her close. She looked up at me and then we kissed for a few minutes. Then she shivered in my arms and we walked back to the car. We must have been out at the beach only maybe 10 minutes before it felt too cold. We were so lame.

When we got back to the car, I turned the car on and the music on (and the heater, stop judging). Then we leaned over our seats and kept kissing. She seemed to love kissing, her hand was running through and messing up my hair, her lips were nibbling and pulling at mine. She was breathing heavy between each kiss. We would occasionally take a break from kissing to talk for a moment, but then she’d lean back over, with no sign from me, and just start kissing me again, as if she was insatiable.

I started to slide my hand up her leg a little, and under her skirt. I felt the curve of her hips and the sides of her panties. This was making me rock hard under my jeans. And it only made her kiss me more intensely. The way she was leaned over to seat though, it made it impossible for me to run my hand between her legs, which is what I really wanted to do. So I motioned to push her back into her seat, so her legs weren’t clasped together. To which she said “no”. And I obeyed. But she seemed to get the hint, as her hand slid from my hair, down my chest to over the bulge in my pants. “Oh.. someone’s ready to collect on the bet?”, she said. “I told you, not until we know each other better, but I don’t want you to go home empty handed, I’m a woman of my word”. As she squeezed her hand around my shaft through my pants. “Undo your pants”.

It wasn’t the sexiest way to undress, but we were sitting in a car. But still, we were parked at the beach, the sound of the waves in the background made up for it a bit. And the fact that this insanely beautiful girl was saying it, I did it. I undid my belt and buttons and opened my pants. Just as I finished she slid her hand down into my pants and pulled my cock out. Her hand was cold, and very soft as it wrapped around my shaft. She started to softly stroke me as she pulled me out and we started kissing again. She was such a good kisser, and looked so fucking good in that black dress, I was actually worried for a moment that I might cum just from her touch. But I calmed down and after a few minutes she lean down and started to kiss and lick my cock. She seemed very reserved and shy about it. Kissing and licking the tip, not taking my cock fully in her mouth. I was surprised because she was such an aggressive kisser, but shy with my cock. I leaned my seat back as far as it would go, laying back farther, making my cock easier for her to handle. And she started stroking it while teasing the tip with her mouth. But she still seemed shy about it. After 10 minutes of that she sat up and adjusted her body. The awkward position was uncomfortable for her. She asked “are you close to cuming?”, I think because the position wasn’t comfortable for her at all.

Me: “Maybe we should go back to your place, or my place?”

Jasmine: “No, because then we’ll have sex, and we need to date at least 2 months before that happens”

Me: “So, I have two months to clean my apartment, good to know”

Me: “but no, I’m not that close to cumming”

Jasmine: “How can I help?”

You have to love a girl who finds it her duty to finish what she started

Jasmine: “Oh… I know…”

She leaned her seat back to match mine,, leaned forward to kiss me quickly, and then laid back against the door/wall of the car. She pulled her skirt up past her stomach so I could see her black lace panties hugging her perfect hips and flat stomach. Then she moved her legs apart and started to rub her hand over her panties, looking at me in the eyes, a lustful expression taking over her face.

Jasmine: “Don’t leave me hanging, show me something too”

I pulled my pants down off my hips, so I was more exposed and I started to stroke myself as she watched. And did she watch. Her eyes were 90% watching my cock and only 10% looking up to see my eyes. She started to moan softy a she rubbed her panties, but then she couldn’t resist anymore and she pulled her panties to the side. Underneath she was mostly shaved smooth, except for a small patch, of black hair just above. Her labia were large and swollen and her pussy was visibly wet. She slid her finger over her lips and I could not only see, but I could hear how wet she was. She slid two of her fingers inside herself and then back out. And she quickly pulled her hand up to her mouth and tasted herself off her finger tips. And just as quick they were back down rubbing her pussy.

Me: “I don’t get a taste?”

She smiled and didn’t reply, she was too in the moment now. Jasmine started to rub herself faster and faster, focusing entirely on her clit. She was breathing heavy and her hips were rocking. I was stroking myself faster, and starting to match her breathing and moans. She started to talk fast and randomly. Saying more as she got more into the moment.

Jasmine: “Fuck, I’m so wet”

“I love your cock, it’s perfect”

“I want that cock”

“Tell me if you’re going to cum”

“I want your cum so bad”

“Fuck, I’m close baby”

“I need that cock, I need what’s inside it”.

And I am getting so close..but I don’t want this moment to end. I’m sitting in my car on deserted beach, watching easily the prettiest woman I’ve ever seen in my car, touch herself, her lace back panties pulled to the side, her dress pulled up to her stomach. Her gorgeous pussy dripping wetness onto my car seat. I can’t imagine a better picture.

Jasmine: “I’m going to cum baby”

“I’m so close”

“I can’t hold it”

She starts to moan out and suddenly her fingers disappear inside her and I can hear her wetness again. Then they slide back out and to my lips. I eagerly taster her. Sucking her off her fingers and she let’s out a yelp of excitement and pulls them back from my mouth and they slide back into her. She cries out “I’m cuming”… And her head rolls back and her thighs tremble and shake. The sight of this is simply too much for me and I make a similar cry “fuck, I’m going to cum”. And she suddenly pulls away from her moment and throws herself over the seat and wraps her warm, soft mouth around my cock, pushing my hand away. She’s breathlessly gasping on my cock, still finishing her own orgasm as I feel mine take hold. I feel myself pulse into her mouth and she effortlessly drinks me in. Breathing heavier and taking each pulse of cum down her throat. This seems like a different girl than that one that kissed my cock 20 minutes ago. She kisses, sucks and strokes my cock until every last drop of my cum is out and inside her and down her throat. Kissing and licking until I start to go soft, as if she can’t get enough. Then she sits up and looks at me

Jasmine: “Fuck.. I needed that”.

I drover her back to her place, which as it turns out was only 2 streets from the bar we met at. She fixed her dress and her hair before leaving the car. Even though no one was on the street at this hour. I walked her to her door and we kissed for another 10 minutes and held each other. Then she told me to wait one second. She stepped inside the door and closed it and came back out after only half a minute. “Here, in case you miss me” And she handed me her still wet panties curled up in a ball. “Maybe you’ll think about me when you touch yourself in the morning?”

We kissed and said our goodnights…

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/8tbpdd/that_time_my_date_from_the_internet_was_way_too